Is She Lying in the Relationship? 21 Signs and Solutions

“Where was I yesterday? I was just, uh… having a drink with some friends.”

You want to believe your partner is telling you the truth…

But it gets tricky when it’s just so damn obvious that he or she’s hiding something from you.

Ah, lying in a relationship…

It’s never fun. That’s for sure, especially if you’re the one who’s being lied to.

But… how can you be so sure? And how can you detect lies in your relationship?

That’s what you’re going to learn today in this article.

You get:

• 21 Subtle signs that he/she’s lying to you.
• How to catch a liar in the act: The police’s method.
• Body language: The most important signs to spot a lie
• 2 Notorious words all liars use.
• Lying in a relationship: The parrot principle explained
• And many more…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Effects of lying in a relationship: Is she lying to me?…

It’s hard for you to know for sure.

A lot of people are professional liars.

This research shows that most people lie twice a day on average.

And sometimes telling a white lie is okay. It can help you keep the peace and move on.

But way too often lies are a major cause of relationship problems and even breakups.

When you suspect that your wife or girlfriend is lying to you, you want to do something about it as quickly as possible…

But there’s something about suspicions:

They’re no more than suspicions.

Since most liars are reluctant to admit they’re lying, you’ll have to come up with some solid proofs to be 100% sure.

But what if you can’t find the evidence?

It would be silly to accuse your girlfriend without any proof. Imagine you’re wrong… It’s not going to work in your favor.

So I hear you thinking:

I’ve got some good news for you:

There’s a way.

In fact:

There are 21 ways to tell if your partner’s lying in a relationship.

And you get each of them in this article.

Let’s start right away with sign #1

Tip #1: How lying destroys relationships

Let’s suppose:

You suspect your wife or girlfriend is lying to you.

You suspect her of being on a date with someone else last night.

And you express your concerns to her.

She says:

Dates usually take way longer, right?

And now you start doubting…

Hmm… What she says makes sense. You know she finished work at 7pm. And she did come back home at 8pm.

But if you notice the following subtle signs, then she might be lying:

• She’s not looking directly at you
• She’s fidgeting
• She’s scratching her arm

This research shows that you can catch a liar by spotting his non-verbal behavior.

So pay less attention to what she’s saying, but more to HOW she’s saying it.

Unfortunately, we men are usually not experts in nonverbal communication reading.

That’s why we’re now going to focus on 10 signs of body language and behavior that show how to spot a liar in a relationship.

Tip #2: Handy tip: It’s the hands that betray…

Nice title, right?

Knew you’d like it.

I’m the king of jokes.

Good,

Let’s get back to it.

How can you spot liars by looking at their hands?

Well, first of all: if she’s hiding her hands, chances are she’s lying.

Liars keep their hands hidden.

Is she keeping her hands behind her back, in her pockets, or under the table?

In that case, she’s likely hiding something from you.

Tip #3: What if she does use her hands…

So, hiding hands is typical of liars.

If you always keep your hands behind your back or in your pockets, you’re automatically going to make yourself suspicious.

But, in ‘normal’ communication, most people use their hands to make gestures, for example.

Liars also sometimes use their hands, often in an exaggerated way, as shown by this research.

They do this to release the stress brought from lying, so to speak.

So if you notice that she moves her hands this way:

Then there’s a chance she’s lying to you, mate.

Now here’s another sign you’ll identify by looking at her hands…

Tip #4: Fidgeting

Often, (bad) liars are nervous.

They know that they’re lying, and hope the other person doesn’t find out.

It causes stress.

The body reacts to it, so it’s hard to stay still in this kind of situation.

This is precisely why many (bad) liars seem restless when they’re lying.

For example:

• They’re fidgeting with their clothes.
• They move back and forth on a chair.
• They scratch a lot.
• They touch their hair or their face.

Tip #5: She won’t look at you in the eyes

Do you remember the beginning of your relationship when everything felt like a dream?

You had beautiful dates and shared romantic moments where you stared at each other deep in the eye…

But that look is now a thing of the past.

In fact:

She hardly looks at you anymore.

When you’re talking, you notice she often looks away. She finds it difficult to keep eye contact. Especially when you’re talking about where she was last night.

If this happens, chances are you’re dealing with lying in a relationship.

This research shows that people often look away when they lie to someone.

The more often you notice she can’t keep eye contact, the higher the chance is that she’s hiding the truth.

A quick word…

Many of the signs shown in this article are the result of nervous behavior.

Now, being nervous doesn’t always mean lying. Think about it. We all have been in stressful situations at one time or another:

• Speaking in public in a room full of people.
• Admitting you made a mistake.
• Being the last one left in Call of Duty while the rest of your team is watching over the ‘killcam.’

I’m sure you had to cope with a similar situation many times.

Does it mean you’re a liar?

No, it doesn’t.

Your girlfriend may be stressed about something else (maybe she’s dealing with a difficult boss at work.)

Perhaps she’s feeling vulnerable and she’s not hiding anything from you.

However, you can someone is lying when he or she is acting differently than usual.

It means you have to know the person.

If you notice a change in her behavior, then she might be lying.

Use the signs shown in this article to strategically find out the truth.

If you’re trying to find out if a complete stranger is lying, then forget your intuition: it’s useless. Even for an experienced FBI agent, discerning a lie from a truth is a 50/50.

In short:

Don’t accuse straightaway. Act like an empathetic detective.

This article will help you get that badge.

Tip #6: She’s giving you the ‘McKayla Maroney’ stare

Does the name McKayla Maroney ring a bell?

Maroney is an Olympic gymnast who, in addition to her sports career, became known as a meme heroine:

(Also known as the notorious ‘not impressed’ meme.)

This look is much more than just an awkward face that doesn’t make you photogenic at all.

The McKayla Maroney stare is also a strong indicator that someone is lying.

Research from the University of Los Angeles shows that liars tend to move their mouths a lot.

So if your girlfriend is telling you that this guy at work is ‘just a colleague’ while doing this:

Then chances are your girlfriend and her ‘colleague’ do more than just ‘working.’

Tip #7: She turns into a stuttering ghost

Ever seen somebody’s face suddenly go white?

Ever heard someone suddenly start stuttering?

Both are signs that someone is lying. It’s because there’s a shortage of blood flowing through the head, caused by adrenaline.

This not only makes you feel stuffy, but you also start stuttering.

On top of that, your face turns pale like a ghost.

Does your girlfriend’s face go as white as Michael Jackson when you’re having a conversation? In that case chances are she’s hiding something from you.

(No disrespect to the King of Pop, by the way).

Tip #8: She sweats a lot (even though it’s cold)

She hasn’t worked out; you guys didn’t have sex, it’s not even close to summer, and yet…

she sweats like you’re in the middle of the Sahara on a crazy hot day.

How is this possible?

Well,

Your girlfriend may have hyperhidrosis, a condition that causes you to sweat excessively.

But since I suspect you know your girlfriend quite well, if she had hyperhidrosis I believe you’d already have noticed by now.

(Or at least smelled it).

But if you notice that she’s been sweating a lot inexplicably lately, then there’s a chance that you’re being lying to.

Excessive sweating is a common attribute of liars.

After all, lying makes you anxious. Anxiety creates tension. And that tension causes that smelly sweat.

So it’s about time to have a little talk with her about it.

(And maybe buy her a deodorant too)

Tip #9: She’s got the helium effect

My girlfriend does a lot of volunteer work for the Eurovision Song Contest.

(If you’re thinking: “Such a shitty show!” then I agree entirely with you. Just don’t tell my girlfriend please).

The other day she brought home a huge balloon for the Eurovision Song Contest. The balloon was filled with helium.

So we did what any reasonable and mature couple would do in that situation:

We inhaled helium.

Is this healthy?

Probably not.

Is this funny?

Yeah, it is.

A tiny bit of helium and you’ll sound like a chipmunk in no time.

What does this have to do with lies in a relationship?

Well, the helium effect is a great way to spot a liar easily.

Liars tend to talk a lot higher as a result of the stress.

(During severe stress, the vocal cords tighten).

Obviously your voice isn’t going to sound like you inhaled helium either. But your voice is going to sound significantly higher. Sometimes so much higher that others can notice it.

If you notice that her voice is much higher than usual lately, then two options:

• She’s inhaled too much helium. That sucks.
• She’s lying to you. That sucks even more.

Tip #10: She raises her voice

This one fits with the previous tip perfectly.

A lot of people raise their voices during a discussion.

They often do so because they’re wrong.

It’s the same with liars.

Because she knows she’s wrong, she raises her voice.

This is a desperate attempt to make you think she’s right.

The more she raises her voice, the more likely she is to be lying.

Tip #11: She keeps correcting herself

Do these kinds of conversations sound familiar? If so, you’re probably dealing with a lying spouse.

Liars tend to correct themselves a lot.

Because they lie so much, it’s easy to notice something’s wrong with what they’re saying.

As soon as it happens, they try to correct their mistake by throwing a lie on top of it that is even worse than the one before.

As a result, she’s going to have a huge amount of lies to remember and keep track of. Is that a good strategy?

Absolutely not.

That’s why it’s an excellent way to tell she’s lying.

Tip #12: She protects her vital parts

Lying is dangerous.

And we humans have a natural tendency to protect ourselves when situations become dangerous.

(That’s why I hold my nose when I know my roommate used the toilet before me).

Unconsciously, people try to protect their vital body parts when they lie.

So pay close attention to these signs:

• She keeps her arms on her abdomen.
• She holds her hands on her chest.
• She touches her neck.
• She turns away from you.

She knows she’s lying. She knows she’s in danger. That’s why she’s “protecting” herself.

Tip #13: The police’s method: Best way to detect lying in a relationship

Detectives use special techniques to find out if someone’s telling the truth.

(No, you don’t need to buy a lie detector)

One of those techniques is called the SUE technique.

This technique works best if you have strong suspicions that she’s lying, but she doesn’t want to admit it.

For example:

Your best friend calls you at night. He tells you he just saw your girlfriend kissing another guy in a bar.

What’s your first reaction?

You’d probably call her, furious, to ask if the story’s true. After all, why would your best friend lie to you anyway?

But this approach is actually counterproductive. Because what do people do when they’re accused of something?

They go on the defensive straight away.

Then you end up in a tricky situation. Your girlfriend says one thing, your best mate says another.

Who should you trust?

Look, man.

Accusing someone immediately does not work.

Don’t be tempted to call your girlfriend right away. If you do so, she’s going to be on the defensive.

Wait till the next day.

Don’t blame her. Just ask her questions.

Go from “general” questions to more and more specific. For example:

Question 1: “Did you have a good time last night, by the way?”

This is a very general question. You’re not accusing her of anything. You’re just asking how her night was.

Still, you can tell a lot from her answer. (See other signs about this).

Then you ask:

Question 2: “Did something particularly fun happen?”

And then you keep going:

Question 3: “I went to that bar the other day, and everyone was literally kissing each other. It was like a kiss orgy. Did it happen last night too?”

Ask these questions in a chill, non-aggressive way. You’re not accusing her of anything; you’re just looking to see if your suspicions are correct. Can you notice she’s getting a bit nervous? Is she avoiding your questions? Is she giving vague answers?

Then chances are she’s lying to you.

The beauty of this technique is that the liar is often so stressed out by the ongoing questions that she’ll confess the truth herself.

This works much more effectively than accusing her straightaway of something you’re not 100 percent sure of.

So don’t act like a detective with a suspect.

As soon as she notices that you’re already assuming that she’s lying, she’ll either go on the defensive or accuse you of manipulating her.

The more “casual” you do the SUE technique, the better it will work.

Tip #14: How to spot a liar in a relationship with the parrot principle

Liars and parrots have something in common:

They repeat everything you say.

Let’s take another example. You meet a girl, and you suspect she’s lying about her age in a relationship.

You ask her exactly how old is she.

She answers with:

Then you ask what year she was born.

She says:

If you’d always wanted a parrot:

Congratulations, now you’ve got one.

Your girlfriend repeats all your questions when you ask them as if she didn’t hear you.

Why is she doing this?

Because the questions make her nervous. Probably because she’s got something to hide.

Repeating the questions gives her extra time to come up with a credible answer.

If you can see the parrot principle in her behavior, then there’s a chance your girlfriend is lying to you.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Tip #15: The notorious Shower sign

Now let’s do a role change.

You’re the one who cheated on your girlfriend.

You didn’t resist the temptation. This beautiful girl approached you one night out:

She asked you to come with her to her hotel. She was so pretty that you just couldn’t refuse.

After having had a hot bedtime story, you decide to leave. You can’t stay in this hotel any longer.

You go home.

The thing is, you know your girlfriend’s home, too.

She’s asleep on the couch. As soon as she sees you come in she smiles. She jumps off the couch to hug and kiss you.

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind?

Most likely you’re thinking something like:

You apologize and run to the shower to wash off any evidence.

…

Does this story sound familiar to you?

Does it often happen that your girlfriend wants to jump straightaway in the shower when she comes home?

Then there could be two things going on:

• You smell so bad that she wants to clean up as soon as you’re near her.
• She’s hiding something from you.

Tip #16: She behaves like a lioness

Ever seen a lioness protecting her cub?

Check out this video if you haven’t:

As you can see, miss lioness has absolutely no problem attacking a huge male lion.

Just like your girlfriend has no problem ‘attacking’ you when you get close to her cub.

And that cub comes in the shape of… her cell phone.

Liars protect their phones at all costs.

Especially when they’re having an affair.

A phone can quickly reveal a lot of information.

The more she keeps her phone away from you, the more likely it is that she has something to hide.

Tip #17: The best word to expose a liar

Let’s suppose your girlfriend is accusing you of cheating.

You know you didn’t do it. You’d never do anything like that.

Then how would you respond to her accusation?

Personally, I’d say:

• “I’m not cheating at all!”

But what about:

• “I’m not cheating on you, honestly.”

This last one sounds a little weird, doesn’t it?

If someone wrongly accuses you of something, your answer is going to be quick and precise. 

Paradoxically, the word “honestly” is almost never used by honest people.

This is exactly why this word can be used to expose a liar.

The more often she introduces an explanation with the infamous word “Honestly…” the more likely it is that she’s not being honest.

Tip #18: She uses statements of persuasion

Same scenario:

Your girlfriend accuses you of cheating.

If you’re positive that you didn’t cheat on her, your answer is short and to the point:

• “I didn’t cheat on you. What on earth makes you think that I did?”

It makes sense that your answer is short and powerful.

After all, you have nothing to hide.

Liars, on the other hand, expand their answers…

They do this by using so-called statements of persuasion.

Glad you asked.

I’ll give you some examples:

• “I didn’t cheat on you! I wouldn’t do that, would I?”
• “Yeah, but baby, I’m not like that at all, am I?”
• “Yeah, but honey, you know me, right?”
• “We’ve been together so long! You know I wouldn’t do this, right?”

By using statements of persuasion, liars try their best to prove that they’re telling the truth.

But it’s usually not the case. These statements are desperate attempts to make you think she’s not lying.

Tip #19: Turning an accusation into a question

Earlier I told you that accusing someone is not the best way to go when you suspect someone is lying…

But you don’t have to hide your suspicions all the time either.

So what you want to do is this:

Express your suspicions in the form of a question

Don’t say:

This is a direct accusation. Maybe you’re wrong, and most likely she’ll go straight on the defensive.

What you should say instead is:

Expressing your suspicions that way has multiple benefits:

• You’re not accusing anyone, you’re just asking a question.
• You’re not making false assumptions.
• You can analyze the answer to tell if the person is lying or not.

Sure. I was just about to.

Check this out:

Earlier I said that when someone is telling the truth, the answer is usually short and clear.

So someone who speaks the truth would give the following answer:

The answer of someone who’s lying sounds a little different:

• The answer is
• There seems to be more doubt in the answer.
• The run-up to the answer takes longer.
• She analyzes the question before answering.

For example:

Someone who’s lying scans and analyzes a question much more than someone who’s telling the truth

Because of this, the answer usually takes longer.

And why is that?

Because a liar has to go through a lot of filters before answering a question.

Liars are constantly on their guard.

They make up so much bullshit that they always have to check whether their answer is accurate or not.

They’re cautious with their answers. They don’t want to shoot themselves in the foot by contradicting something they said in the past.

So the way she answers speaks volumes. Pay attention to it.

Tip #20: She’s rarely been so nice to you

Imagine you’re walking down the street and suddenly a stranger comes to you with a big smile on his face.

He takes a 10 euros bill out of his pocket and says:

You look at him, surprised.

“Um… thank you? But… why?”

“Because you just seem like a cool guy.” He answers, smiling.

Tell me, mate, how would you feel about this situation?

If it makes you feel a little uncomfortable, I don’t blame you.

Don’t get me wrong… free money is always welcome.

But still…

There’s something weird about a total stranger suddenly giving you money.

After all, you didn’t do anything for it.

It’s very sweet…

But perhaps a bit too sweet…

There must be something behind all this.

Why would someone just randomly give you money?

A lot of people are suspicious by nature.

We don’t trust people that are suddenly super nice to us.

That’s why overly nice behavior is a huge sign that someone is lying.

Liars try to cover up their lies by being very sweet.

Do you notice that your girlfriend is suddenly much nicer than usual?

If all of a sudden, she starts washing your dishes, giving you lots of unexpected gifts and a lot more blowjobs than usual, then this is a serious sign she’s lying.

You have been warned, my friend.

Tip #21: You’re wondering if YOU are crazy

This is John:

John has been having a relationship with Carolina for two years:

 There were hardly any problems in their relationship, until recently.

Carolina has been acting very weird lately…

• She comes home late.
• She’s being very vague about where she was.
• She spends way less time with John.
• She’s away a lot.
• She sometimes smells like men’s perfume.

In the first few weeks of all this, John decided to keep it to himself.

But that night, she comes home late (again) smelling the same scent of perfume. John loses his patience.

“Carolina, please. Are you dating another guy?” John asks, worried.

“What?! No, of course not! Where the hell did you get that from? Aren’t you supposed to trust me? Why do you have to be always so suspicious?” Carolina answers.

“But you…”

“No.” She interrupts. “Don’t be so insecure. You know that I would never do that to you.”

John is very confused.

He begins to doubt himself…

Suddenly he’s asking himself questions like:

• “Did I rush to conclusions?”
• “Am I really that insecure?”
• “Did I wrongly accuse her?”
• “Am I crazy?”

AM-I-CRAZY?

If these three words often haunt you after a discussion with your girlfriend, chances are she’s hiding something.

Liars use manipulation a lot in relationships.

Actually, liars are world-class manipulators.

As soon as they’re accused of something, they know how to turn the whole thing around.

They know how to confuse you in such a way that all of a sudden it seems like YOU are the one to blame.

You begin to doubt yourself and wonder if YOU are the one who’s done something wrong.

Pay very close attention if this looks familiar to you!

There’s a good chance you’re being manipulated. Perhaps the situation is so twisted that you can’t even see it.

This is a crucial sign of lying in a relationship.

You have been warned (again).

How to gain trust back in a relationship after lying?

Man,

I hope you’re not being lied to.

Hopefully you won’t recognize any of these signs and you’re not having a relationship built on lies.

But if not, there’s work to be done.

How to fix a relationship after lying has occurred, you ask?

First of all, it’s time to get what you deserve:

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She’ll never lie to you if she has an attractive boyfriend she really wants to keep.

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