Your heart starts pounding, you can’t think clearly and a buzz fills your stomach.
A compelling moment awaits, dreaded by many men…
You’re about to meet the parents.
But fear not, there is light at the end of the tunnel…
Not only will you survive the scene, you’ll also make a lasting impression even Chris Pratt would be proud of.
Because in this article you’ll get:
- 9 Tips that help you to ace ‘meeting the parents’
- The most natural way to break the ice with your girlfriend’s parents
- How the priming principle scores you brownie points
- 6 quick tips that make talking to your girlfriend’s parents easy
- How to give her parents a movie trailer of your best self
- More on the ins & outs of meeting her parents…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
After reading this article you’ll feel at home at your girlfriend’s parents as if it were your own house.
And with that, show your girlfriend the perfect boyfriend material you’re made of.
Meeting the parents for the first time
I know your mind’s probably spinning with questions right now…
But first things first.
Meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time is a BIG step in relationships.
The moment you get a proper name and face inside her family, you’ll bring your relationship to the next level.
No longer will you just pass off as the “mysterious” guy in her pictures.
Not only will you move away further from casual dating…
But you’re also committing more strongly to your girlfriend by getting to know the most important people in her life.
Of course, her parents will also hold a healthy curiosity about the man who’s dating their daughter. They’ll want to find out whether he’s a suitable partner who makes her happy.
Then again, your girlfriend has her hopes up that you’ll get along well with her parents.
In short, there’s a lot of interests at stake – all putting pressure on you.
Because let’s be clear about it:
It’s up to you to convince them that you’re worthy.
You need to show you’re a responsible adult with good intentions. That you can be trusted and bring value to the relationship.
Like it or not, their opinion of you matters.
A few years down the line, they might be your in-laws. A couple more, and they might even be your children’s grandparents.
If you’re not on good terms with them, it’s going to affect your life quite severely.
And perhaps even the continuity of the relationship with your girlfriend.
That’s why I want you to prepare in advance and keep your head cool.
So make a hell of an impression with these tips, and you’ll be destined to become the favorite in-law of her family.
Tip #1: The natural way to break the ice
That VERY first moment you meet her parents can be nerve-wracking.
You’re in unfamiliar territory and yet you are at the absolute center of their attention.
Understandable that you feel awkward… So anything to ease the tension and break the ice is welcome, right?
Not to worry brother, I got you.
And I’m not gonna dish out corny jokes and one-liners…
So then how do you deal with the moment supreme?
You want to break the ice before actually meeting them.
If you and her parents have both seen each other once before, you can easily take massive tension out of the way.
Think of just putting your head around the door when picking her up for date night.
Or briefly showing your face on camera when she’s facetiming the family.
Even only a friendly smile and wave from the car can make all the difference.
Just quickly appearing in front of her parents before the “formal meeting” will make you more than complete strangers to another.
You’ll both have built a small sense of familiarity which helps you to take the pressure of those first moments.
Like a lightning rod, the tension and awkwardness are diverted away from that first formal meeting.
So instead of getting that full exposure when you get formally introduced…
Give yourself a head-start and break the ice by briefly seeing her parents in a casual setting.
This technique is a great example of the forces of priming at work. Find out more on this psychological principle later in this article.
Tip #2: Let yourself enjoy it
Professional sportsmen have your back on this one.
Boxers, football players, and even PokerStars have to perform under a HUGE amount of pressure.
One bad move = Game over + Months of practice down the drain.
In some high stake games, the pressure gets too high… and they “choke”.
The outcome of the event is so important to them that they’re blown away by the pressure to perform well.
Their mind goes on tilt and they forget everything they know on the spot.
Outside of the sports world, we all sometimes get too occupied with the outcome of events (read: meeting the parents).
YOU may also be fixated on what her parents think of you and feel the stakes are high.
Unless you want to “choke”, you must ease off on the outcome.
Instead, try to consciously let yourself enjoy the rendezvous:
- Actively remind yourself that whatever happens, you will be alright
- Focus your full attention into the room in that present moment
- Smiling and laughing will get you into your body and out of your head
Also, keep in mind there’s a big chance your girlfriend has told her parents all your good stories so you’re already 1 – 0 ahead.
So relax and try to enjoy the effort and time they invest in you.
Don’t spend all your energy being the perfect dinner guest, but actually appreciate this chance to get to know your girlfriend’s parents.
They might even let you in on some of the embarrassing childhood stories of your girlfriend…
After all, in the first place meeting her parents should be a joyous occasion.
Tip #3: Treat it like a job interview
Ok, hold up… I’ve told you to consciously enjoy yourself.
Meeting her parents should be fun and when you’re having fun, you’re at your best.
But at all times, you need to keep enough respect for her parents.
Part of that means you need to take meeting her parents seriously.
And congrats. Because the fact that you’re reading this, shows that you do.
In that sense, you can best compare it to a job interview situation.
No interviewer will appreciate you if you act indifferent and show up unprepared…
In fact, it’s an act of disrespect.
The same goes for meeting her parents.
Like it or not, you want to come in a favorable position with them and in this situation, they stand higher on the ladder than you.
Regardless of that, you’ll want to respect them simply because they put your girlfriend in this world and have her best interests at heart.
So preparation is key. And your girlfriend has all the insider information for you…
Ask her beforehand about what you can expect and how the social dynamics are. She can tell you all about what’s not done or how formal the meeting will be.
Also be honest to her about being nervous. She is the best wing you can get and will surely help you to get through the night.
The fact that you spend time and effort upfront shows that you care about them and value their opinion.
In short, it’s a solid way to show you respect them.
It’s fine to err on the safe side so you don’t overstep any lines that might disrespect her parents.
However, you should always try to get a feel for the type of people her parents are. Could be they’re a bit more ballsy or provocative…
Playing it safe would then likely give them a poorer impression of you.
It’s up to you to read the situation and pick up on their vibe, so you can respond in the best way you can to make a killer impression.
Tip #4: How to show respect without exaggeration
As Ali G greatly demonstrates, showing R-E-S-T-E-C-P can be tricky.
Show it too little, and you might offend her parents.
But overdo it, and you might look like a suck-up.
Even worse, some men will start putting up a show and act excessively respectful to the point they’re pretending to be someone they’re not.
Not only will that always backfire sooner or later…
You’ll also bring the awkwardness to a whole new level and deprive her parents of the opportunity to get to know who you really are.
My and Ali G’s advice: two words – keep it real.
You want to give her parents a slice of your life, the actual experience of who you are as a person.
So stay true to yourself, but do so within the framework of respect.
For example if your girlfriend’s dad invites you to watch the game with him, no need to decline. Feel free to join in and enjoy some one-to-one bonding time.
Yet don’t pretend to be a sports fan or to support his team if you’re not.
At the same time, you don’t want to take the liberty to suggest watching the game together… even if you’re dying to see it.
You want to stay close to yourself while topping it off with a set of good manners.
In any case, however, don’t make it too real though…
- Don’t call her parents by their first names, unless they ask you
- Stick to a more conventional outfit (more on that in Tip #8)
- Avoid smoking, drugs, or excessive drinking
- Keep your Johnson in your briefs
That’s right, no sexy times on an overnight visit to her parent’s place.
No matter what you’re used to at home, at their house you’ll want to lay low on showing public affection with their daughter.
Give them some time to ease into this new reality where they’re no longer the most important people in her life.
It’s already clear you’re the man in her life now, so no need to rub these noses in it.
Tip #5: What to talk about when meeting the parents for the first time
Alright bro, the big night’s there… What are you going to talk about?
Here are 6 quick and dirty tips to get you all set for a night full of conversation:
- Conversational basics
Whatever you’re going to talk about, the topic will be far less important than the conversation itself.
This is where your conversation skills come to use.
And when you’ve been following AttractionGym for a while, this should be a piece of cake.
Show genuine interest in what her parents have to say and listen carefully to pick up cues to ask follow-up questions.
Asking about your girlfriend’s parents always works like a charm, as everyone loves to talk about themselves.
Find more tips to boost your conversationalist skills in our free Transformation Kit.
- Do your research
Afraid you’ll blurt out random, stupid @#$!?
Make sure to do some research beforehand so you are comfortable and know what you’re talking about.
Especially if her family comes from another culture then research is your friend.
Apart from having something interesting to say, this will also reduce your stress levels significantly as you’ll feel more prepared.
Common subjects that you’re expected to have an opinion on often include current events, local news, and world affairs.
- Take the initiative
Staying on the topic of doing your research…
Ask your girlfriend about what her parents (or one of them) have recently done or achieved.
Maybe her dad came in second on a golf tournament or they’ve gone on holiday to Mexico last month.
With this information up your sleeve, you can take the initiative to ask about these recent events and have the parents talk away.
This also works exceptionally well to remove the spotlight from yourself when you first shake hands.
Immediately just ask about the golf tournament or point out their tan when you ask about their recent holiday.
Check out this article for 5 Solid Ways to Make a Good First Impression.
- Involve your parents
Your girlfriend’s parents will be interested in your parents as well…
So make sure you’ve got a cool story ready about your own creators.
What do they do for a living? How do they spend most of their time?
Remember, if all goes well they are going to meet each other someday.
Up to you to lay the foundations and break the ice for their future meeting.
- Ask open-ended questions
I already dropped a hint earlier, because asking questions is an absolute win-win.
Not only will you show interest in your girlfriend’s parents, but you can also ease off the talking yourself and start listening instead.
You’ll steer the conversation into their hands and let them do most of the talking.
Especially when you ask open-ended questions about their lives or opinions it’ll be smooth sailing ahead.
Knowing this, you can also choose to be brief in your responses and throw in another probe, as long as it stays natural and fun.
- How did you meet?
Did you swipe your girlfriend right on Tinder?
Occasionally the ‘How did you meet’ story gets polished up for the parents with good intentions.
And although you can probably best just stick to the truth…
You need to make sure that you get on the same page with your girlfriend so you both iterate the same story of your relationship.
Last thing you want is two different anecdotes about your relationship circulating the room.
Make your relationship stronger with these 10 Best Experts Tips on Solidifying Your Relationship.
Tip #6: Get the attentiveness brownie points
Few people realize that working your way through the Annals of Psychology will put you miles ahead at life.
Which is probably why we at AttractionGym have a weak spot for psychological principles.
And today I’ve got a beauty that’ll make your girlfriends parents like you, without actually having done anything for it.
Research shows that if you are exposed to something at first, it can strongly influence your behavior afterward.
The priming principle.
In other words, when you expose her parents to friendly behavior, it primes them for more in the future.
You want to make clear you’re the best guy for their daughter, demonstrating your great value and awesomeness.
So for instance, you can bring a small gift to break the ice. Preferably one you have something to say about.
For example when you bring flowers because your girlfriend disclosed her mother loves white flowers…
Then it’s nice if you have a little story about the florist where you bought the flowers.
Just make sure to check whether a gift is appropriate in your particular context or if it’s just too much…
Which also goes for the next attentiveness opportunity to score points: the ‘thank-you note’.
Not so much for brief meetings…
But all the more for dinner nights or overnight stays.
When you stayed at her parent’s house or they made you dinner, just take a few minutes apart to write some words to express your gratitude.
Leave the note on your bed or the kitchen counter for them to find…
And you’ll be sure to put smiles on their faces even after you left.
Tip #7: Genuine compliment
Want to plant a smile on her parents’ faces while you’re there?
Genuinely tell them what made you fall for their daughter.
No, I don’t mean her smoking hot appearance…
I’m talking personality. Character. La persona.
Usually your (soon to be) parents-in-law have had a huge role in who she is as a person.
This also means they deserve credits for the wonderful things you love about your girlfriend.
So what is it that you love about your girlfriend(‘s character)?
Is it her resilience?
Her ability to appreciate the small things in life?
Do you admire her caring traits?
Find out what you love about your girl, but consider qualities nurtured by parents.
Sincerely compliment her parents on this quality by telling them what makes you crazy about their daughter.
A thoughtful and heartfelt compliment goes a long way!
Plus, your girlfriend sitting next to you won’t hate to hear you say it either…
Tip #8: Give them the trailer of your best self
Did you know that a movie trailer is not allowed to exceed 2 minutes and 30 seconds, by the rule of the MPAA?
*Jaw meets floor*
Not that it’s actually relevant…
Because you’ll get the whole night to make a lasting impression.
Here are 4 quick tips to give a trailer of your best self when you meet your girlfriend’s parents for the first time.
- Be polite
Your girlfriend’s parents are also only human, just like me and you.
That means they’re also capable of making offensive comments. For instance, when politics are discussed at the dinner table.
Don’t join in, particularly if you disagree with what is said.
However, should there be any unpleasant moments, then see this as your opportunity to shine.
Because under these difficult circumstances especially, you’ll be able to demonstrate what you are made of.
So be polite, even if they are rude.
- Be helpful
This is just common sense really…
But chances are, you feel out of place in their home.
Nevertheless, don’t hesitate to be helpful.
When you’re eating at their house, ask if you can help make dinner or set the table. Also after dinner, offer to help clean up.
They might decline, but they’ll appreciate your offer.
- Be solid
You might think you know your girlfriend inside out, but wait until you see her around her family…
Because chances are you’ll see a different side to your sweetheart.
Maybe she will become her parents’ little girl again, turning her into a much sweeter and more timid version of herself.
If so, leave her be and be supportive of this more modest self around her parents.
Similarly, she may fall back in her old patterns as a stroppy teenager and shortly relive her rebel years.
So don’t hold it against her if she starts sulking or gets into an argument with her parents.
Whatever happens, you’ll want to be prepared to be steady as a rock.
- Be dressed
Yep, don’t forget to put on clothes!
All jokes aside, the ‘meeting the parents’ outfit can be a tricky one.
At all times, you want to stay true to yourself and show who you are.
Then again, if your style evenly matches Borat’s green mankinis… you may want to reconsider.
My advice is to stick to the more conventional pieces in your wardrobe.
In that sense, it is again similar to a job interview…
You wouldn‘t risk your chances of landing a job by wearing a bold outfit, so why take that risk when meeting her parents?
Besides, you’ll get plenty of opportunities for more adventurous outfits over time.
Tip #9: Create some insider fun with your girlfriend
In the whole scramble of meeting the parents, it’s easy to forget who it’s really about…
She is the whole reason why you’re meeting them in the first place.
And while you may be stressed out, don’t forget – your girlfriend’s stress levels will be spiking as well.
So be supportive of her.
For all you know, maybe her parents have never approved of your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriends.
Or perhaps she has a difficult relationship with her parents herself.
It could even be that she’s embarrassed that you’ll see her childhood home or old lifestyle…
It’s up to you to move at her pace and show her support.
See this as your chance to be there for her.
Another great way to support your girlfriend is to create some insider fun.
Fun & good vibes are contagious and a running gag throughout the night helps to keep your moods lighthearted.
Plus, your girlfriend will love you even more…
Because you’ll show your ability to turn a challenging situation into something entertaining and exciting.
It’s a double win!
Still, always stay cautious on not becoming disrespectful though…
Is there a pet around the house? Animals are purrfect for putting some playfulness into the night. So get friendly with the local dog and cat.
Turn your first impression into reality
With these tips up your sleeve, you’re destined to make a hell of an impression when you meet the parents for the first time.
Nevertheless, that’s just a single night.
If all goes well, there are hopefully more nights to come.
So if you really want to get on her parents’ good side, you want to turn that first impression into a lasting one.
Good thing that charming, charismatic and strong conversationalist skills are things you can master.
Especially if you sign up for our newsletter 😉.
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Dan de Ram