Being heartbroken by someone you’ve loved is by far the most amazing experience of all time.
No, of course it hurts.
It doesn’t matter who left who…
…it’s absolutely shitty for both parties.
But what really sucks is when you don’t know what the pain you experience is actually good for and how you can grow from it.
Don’t worry. If you’re thinking, “Fuck, I don’t know why I feel so terrible right now…”
In this article you’ll learn
- How to move on from a breakup when you are still in love: 5 effective tips on how to recover from a breakup like the Road Runner – fast and unscathed
- Steps on moving on after a breakup: What you should avoid at all costs if you want to feel better again as soon as possible
- Why I love breakups and why getting through a breakup can give you superpowers
- How you can use the power of a breakup for yourself (motivation to move on after a breakup)
- And many more tips on how to move on from heartbreak…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Chances are that you’ll read some things here that sound a bit strange at first. But never rely on your intuition in times of a breakup, because it’s deceptive.
For example, she makes you believe that you’ve made a huge mistake and that you should apologize to your former flame sobbing and on your knees while “Baby come back” drones from your boombox…
…which you should NEVER do.
This shows how unreliable your intuition is currently. So read the article first and try out what you’ve learned without making any assumptions.
Moving on after a breakup: Why I love breakups
Almost everyone hates break-ups and tries to avoid them at all costs.
So, it might seem strange to you when I state:
I love breakups.
Because if I hadn’t had a certain breakup in my life, I wouldn’t be sitting here now writing this article for you and hopefully helping thousands of men with it.
There was this young woman. Let’s just call her Linda. Linda was confident, open, independent, and she loved her life. You could feel that when you spent time with her.
She was a woman who, when she wanted something, went out and got it. A real doer. I loved her with every cell in my body.
Peace, joy, and harmony you might say, right?
Well, there was something between us:
A mental illness.
I don’t want to go into it too much for personal reasons, but Linda had a certain illness that made our otherwise flawless relationship very exhausting.
Although I loved her, I ended the relationship because I’ve great plans and a power-draining relationship unfortunately doesn’t fit my vision.
That felt like a big mistake. I felt like shit.
Why this breakup was nevertheless one of the most important and positive turning points in my life, I’ll explain to you later.
Let us first sweep the shattered earth together and prepare you for the time to come.
Tip #1: Accept the breakup
So, you guys broke up. It’s not easy to understand.
Many men find it so difficult to accept the end of their relationship that they don’t want to admit it.
They spend all their time trying to convince the woman to try again. But in doing so, they often only want to run away from the truth and escape the resulting pain.
Some relationships are doomed to failure.
Even if you fight for it, I’m afraid that won’t help much.
You have to realize: You’re not together anymore.
She decided against you for whatever reason, and even though it hurts a lot right now, it’s good. It’s going to help you a lot.
Just keep reading. I’ll explain why later.
First, it’s important that you take the time to accept this new reality.
Here are a few simple and quick tips that you can implement immediately:
- Put all things like pictures, letters, or clothes from your ex in a big box, which you can take to the attic, give to a friend or simply dispose of.
- Hide her on all social media platforms.
- Delete her number (if this is too crass for you, you can write it down and put it in the box).
- Do sports like a berserker. You can use the hormones that are released when you exercise.
- If you should meet your ex by chance or by force, keep your distance. Don’t talk to each other for hours, but leave the situation as quickly as possible.
These things will ease the pain.
It’s not about running away from the pain.
And that brings us to the second point.
Tip #2: Don’t distract yourself too much
The time coming up now isn’t the right time to set a record in drinking out of a beer bong.
Now it’s time to stay sober.
However, alcohol and other drugs aren’t the only means by which many men try to escape the breakup pain.
Sex is also part of it.
There’s the widespread phenomenon that you have to screw anything with a heartbeat as soon as you’re having a broken heart out. Maybe you’re not entirely unfamiliar with that desire.
At this point, I would advise you to…
You’ll feel empty afterward and it’ll keep you from learning something that’s particularly important for you right now:
To feel good again on your own, without the attention and validation of any women or anyone else.
Now it’s about facing the pain and processing it.
Maybe you’re wondering:
I’ll explain in my next tip.
Tip #3: Let the pain be
In fact, I’m going to introduce you to the fastest and most effective way to deal with your breakup.
If you were hoping for a trick or a magic pill how to escape the pain in a super smoothly, I’m afraid I must disappoint you.
There’s no secret technology. You can delay the pain, but it won’t make it go away. Instead, you lose time and quality of life.
So, my advice at this point is to just let it happen. It’s okay.
Don’t worry, no matter how much pain, you’re stronger.
Let me give you an example: Bodybuilding.
Maybe you’re a fitness junkie yourself and love to pound the iron. Then you’ll also know that a decent muscle ache isn’t the worst thing in the world. Maybe you even want it because you know it makes your muscles stronger in the long run.
It’s the same with the pain you feel.
Your pain isn’t negative. It gives you emotional strength and stability.
Feel the pain in your chest and breathe. Breathe into it, perceive it consciously, and don’t try to escape it.
The impulse to distract you with something will come. But you’re ready for it now.
Tip #4: Take enough time for you and your friends
Some people say that you should isolate yourself completely for a while to fully engage with the pain. Others think it’s better to jump right into the fray and distract yourself.
My opinion is: The truth lies in the golden mean.
Sure, take enough time for yourself in any case, but also meet with your friends again. They’re important to you right now. They’ll catch you and help you get over the breakup.
Tip #5: Focus on the potential
You’re still wondering what I love about breakups, right?
Remember the story I told you at the beginning?
I ended the whole thing because I couldn’t deal with her mental illness. After the relationship, I realized something:
I knew exactly what I was getting into from the start. The question is:
Why did I get involved with her?
Do I possibly have some sticking points myself?
So, I realized that I still had to work on myself.
A burning desire grew in me to be disciplined, to take responsibility and to step into the gluteus ass-imus of life.
So, I needed this breakup to discover the potential in me.
This is also the reason why breakups are so important for us:
They reveal the weaknesses in our character and provide us with the motivation to transform these weaknesses into strengths so that we don’t end up in the same situation again.
They’re one of the biggest opportunities in our lives to develop a mature and rounded character.
Of course, you don’t have to become a super-intelligent top athlete-millionaire overnight who flies to Mars and develops a cure for cancer on the way.
It’s enough if you start step by step to realize your life’s purpose – whatever it may be.
You should be proud of the pain you feel now.
It means you had the courage to open up. You gave your heart.
And that’s no small thing.
PS: If you wish to get regularly tips from me to kick-start your new single life then click on the link below:
It will take you straight to my free Transformation Kit. Which costs you exactly nothing.
Dan de Ram