I have received many messages from men asking for advice on how to conquer this one perfect woman.
Well, I can smell it from distance. It is a phenomenon that is also known as:
One(= the one)-itis(= sickness) describes the affectionate, needy and therefore immensely unattractive behavior that this one special woman who is “completely different from all the others” causes in you.
And that’s before you even had sex!
So, dive with me in this article and resurface freed of oneitis dating disease.
- 5 Tips to peel the painful layers of your oneitis
- How emotional highs can keep you chained to your impossible love
- The 3 steps required for legitimate love
- 7 Ways to get rid of your oneitis
- Much more on the cure for oneitis…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
I also like to call this oneitis-phenomenon:
Chronic Bigfoot Addiction (= CBA; ©Dan).
And no, I don’t call her a Bigfoot, because your dream woman is a hairy, six-foot-tall giant gorilla. Unless, that’s exactly your thing. I’ll try not to judge…
I call her that because she is unique to you. You almost make it a mission to hunt her down and think that this is a unique opportunity to capture the bigfoot.
Besides, you have almost fairy-tale feelings for them.
And all this while she shows little interest in you…
Anyone who has ever suffered from oneitis knows how painful it can be. You fall in love with a woman, and you don’t know how to get her or to fall out of love again.
Your life feels like an R&B music video…
But enough joking around! Oneitis is no joke.
It is one of the countless possibilities to be needy towards a woman.
Through neediness, you not only fuck up one isolated interaction, but your complete future potential with her!
It is pathological and can even affect your circle of friends, your health and, above all, your confidence.
But no reason to despair. You’ve come to the right place!
Doctor Dan understands, and he is here to give you the treatment you need to finally free yourself from the grip of Chronic Bigfoot Addiction.
Tip #1: The Trigger
If you suffer from oneitis, you are strongly focused on one woman. So strong that one can almost speak of obsession.
But where does it come from?
It pretty much always starts with an emotional high.
Here is a typical story of a person affected:
Man X meets a very attractive woman in a club. His “game” was especially strong that night and he got her number.
She also finds him very likable and in the following days they have great conversations via WhatsApp.
He’s on an emotional high.
Man X wants to ask her out on a date, but she keeps claiming she doesn’t have time right now.
He checks in with her a lot… but it just feels good to get that emotional high whenever she writes a nice message.
Tip #2: Being emotionally dependent
But slowly the tide is turning:
She starts to text back less, and finally her behavior turns into a puzzle.
Man X realizes that something must have gone wrong. He sends her two messages which remain unanswered…
He realizes that he made a mistake, and I hope that you can see the mistake clearly, dear reader.
He fucked up by…
At first everything was fine, but then the healthy balance between indifference and attachment flipped to the wrong side. Now he wants her more than she wants him.
Does this story sound familiar? Have you experienced something like this, and wonder how it could have come that far?
Let’s discuss how the game between man and woman really works. Because oneitis (dating) can be prevented.
Tip #3: How to actually get her to fall in love with you
I could write a whole books about it – oh wait, actually I have done that…
However, to hit the nail on the head, we will only focus on the core of the problem in this article.
The reason why oneitis occurs in the first place is that you place too much importance on her.
The result is that you react too emotionally and too impulsively to her behavior.
You feel nervous when she texts you, calls you or when you see her, and you are scared of fucking things up.
In fact, YOU should be the one who makes HER react that way. Women actually ENJOY being all nervous, giggly and girly for a man.
When you are needy, you don’t give her the chance to be the girl in your arms, because there is no confidence, strength and protection radiating from your behavior.
Usually, the harder you try to win a woman over, the stronger your oneitis will be for her and the more you long for a cure for oneitis.
This is due to your emotional investment.
The more emotions you invest in a woman, the more painful it becomes when these emotions are unrequited.
Oneitis should therefore be prevented from the start, rather than fighting it when it is already there.
How do you do it?
By creating a healthy balance in your life!
- Other women
And the list goes on.
But the most important thing is that you understand the following with every cell in your body:
There will be no sex, no love and – in short – NOTHING, if you don’t get your emotions under control.
Suppose you have ten more date options. Ideally, you actually have them. How would you text her? How would you behave around her?
This mindset can work wonders.
Arrange a date with her as soon as possible. On the date, it is important that you kiss her, and/or do her like a stallion in bed, otherwise she will not be able to be interested in you on a biological level.
Only then, namely after sex, something changes in a woman’s emotional state. Then she might be able trust you, make herself vulnerable for you, and long for you.
Before that, just try to see her as a fun flirt.
Don’t be the guy who points fingers and says:
I’d rather avoid doing that…
Because she’s right. Why should she be in love with you if you haven’t even gotten physically close?
Realize that if you fall in love too quickly, you are emotionally too reactive, and that is extremely counterproductive.
Before you are allowed to fall in love with a woman, you need to have these steps covered:
- Create a good balance in your life
- Create a deep connection with her
- Create a passionate physical connection with her
Only then you are allowed to even think about falling in love with her.
Tip #4: The cure for oneitis
Ok, you diagnosed yourself with oneitis with Dr. Dan’s help. But what does therapy look like?
What do you have to do to better your condition? Do you have to give her up and focus on other women?
Well, the good news is that whether you want to forget your dream woman or turn the tables and win her over, is the same process.
You have only one choice: You must distance yourself emotionally from her.
Don’t text her for a few days and don’t worry about her as much.
Now you might think:
An experienced doctor like myself is of course aware of this.
My #1 tip, in that case, is always:
If you are not making progress in the area of love, grow in all other areas of life.
These are things that can help you:
- Concentrate on your work
- Create something – be it a blog, a piece of art, a video or anything else.
- Strengthen the bond with your family
- Get to know new people
- Start a new sport or hobby
- Learn how to flirt like a boss
- Focus on loving yourself more
When you grow in other areas, you prevent this oneitis thing from beating you down.
You remain psychologically stable, positive and self-confident, which are qualities that have made women’s panties wet since panties were invented.
Two things can happen that way:
- You are less dependent on the emotions that the woman triggers, and you can let her go.
- The woman notices that you are less invested (or even successful with other women!) and starts to invest more of her own accord. This time you stay cool, which increases your attraction, and she starts to seriously be interested in you.
Tip #5: Share your cake
We’ve all hunted our Bigfoots. I know I have.
But looking back, it was mostly just irrational infatuation.
The funny thing is that all the women I used to be obsessed with have now been completely forgotten.
But I know you still want the woman right now, so I’m gonna give you this one last tip:
Let’s say your emotional investment is a pie.
When you put your whole pie in her hands, it’s gonna end badly.
But if you give her just a piece of your cake, then things look very different.
It’s best not to give her more cake than she gives you. Only when she gives away more of her pie, she deserves to be served more of yours.
This way you still have enough energy for all the other areas of your life (and/or for other women), and that prevents you from being too emotionally invested in her.
Men who keep their cool and have all areas of their life under control are extremely attractive to women.
Regain control over your love life
To get that control over your love life, I’ve created for you my free Transformation Kit.
Topped up with my best advice to attract women into your life and have romantic endeavors with them. It includes conversation techniques to flirt your way through life, online dating tactics to find your love on the interwebz, and the way of the man to portray yourself as the attractive guy women wait for in line.
If you invest in a girl in controlled manner, you playfully challenge her to put more effort into you. Now she can finally be the woman at your side without you taking this job away from her.
To prevent oneitis and to win her over, you must split the cake.
Dan de Ram