What to do when you fall head over heels in love, too fast.
Your love for her is almost an obsession and you would like to take it down a notch or two.
No worries bro! In this article, I’ll share 6 most important tips on how to avoid moving too fast
- What is considered moving too fast in a relationship?
- When are you moving too fast?
- Why are you going too fast?
- #1: Have a reality check
- #2 Carry on with your life as nothing has changed
- #3: Realise that your loved one is a human being
- #4: Keep your head cool
- #5: Try to keep a slow and steady pace
- #6: Give it time, don’t rush the process
- Madly in love, but in a good way
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
After reading this article you’ll get a better hold of yourself and stop moving too fast so you won’t accidentally scare her away.
What is considered moving too fast in a relationship?
Moving too fast in your love life: it happens to everyone.
Love is the most powerful explosive in the universe; it’s stronger than America’s and Russia’s nuclear warheads combined.
But when would you define your love as going too fast?
The symptoms are pretty clear and concrete: lovey-dovey daydreaming, absent-mindedness, becoming co-dependent from your lover, etc. This list probably sounds familiar. probably suffering from the same things right now or know someone who is.
Love is similar to alcohol, it is best served in reasonable portions. Because if you serve a woman too much at once, she’ll probably throw up.
Love, even intense love, is healthy. No life can go without it.
But in extreme cases, love can be unhealthy and even lead to obsession and depression.
In this article, I will help you deal with your feelings for her and keep you from falling in love too fast.
When are you moving too fast?
If you got a cardboard cut-out of her just chilling in your room, chances are that you went too far.
There are of course also less extreme examples of moving too fast, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t as bad for your love life.
You went too far when your loved one is an obsession and not an addition to your life.
She is running in your mind all day:
..why isn’t she texting me?
..when will I see her again?
She shadows every thought you have. She’s always there in your head, no matter what you’re doing.
You drop everything, your friends, hobbies, and family. The only thing on your mind is HER.
The point is: she’s become the sun in your solar system, and everything else is just left in the shadows.
Why are you going too fast?
Everyone has fallen too hard in dating, so your situation isn’t unique.
A mild case of lovesickness isn’t the worse thing. Most men lose it after their teens or become immune after a heartbreak.
But it’s possible that it still happens to you every single time. You move way too fast with every woman and you experience love as something unhealthy rather than something beautiful.
If you can relate to this, it’s recommended to reflect deeply on your situation.
It’s worth your time discovering the reason why get attached too quickly to the women you date.
Does this behavior occur with other people as well?
You are possibly suffering from separation anxiety which could be the underlying reason for your behavior. You might be influenced by your unconscious fears.
You might also just lack the experience and confidence with women so any woman that shows the slightest interest in you seems like your only option.
In any case, you need to recognize the pattern of moving too fast and that you need to break free from this habit. You might need to dig deep to find the roots of the problem but it will be worth it.
Moving too fast in a relationship isn’t something magical that happens because you’re a perfect match.
That is just a fairy tale we are led to believe in romcoms.
It has a deeper cause that indicates that you want too much. For whatever reason.
In the end, this will be the end of you. It’s not beneficial for your (potential) relationship.
Anyways let’s get to it because you are here to find out what you can do to prevent moving too fast.
#1: Have a reality check
Let me start at the beginning: your diagnosis.
How can you recognize that you are moving too fast?
Passion and strong emotions are a part of love. So who’s to say that something is going wrong?
It is often hard to figure this out for yourself.
You need to be honest with yourself – and that is easier said than done.
A fierce love can quickly blindsight you which will make it even harder to realize what is happening.
To clear your head, have some chill me-time.
And when I say chill I mean CHILL. Close your blinds, turn off all your communication devices and electronics and just listen to a nice ocean breeze playlist.
While hearing the waves break in the ocean reflect deeply and think:
Is your habit of moving too fast fuelled by FEAR?
Are you afraid of losing her?
Is the thought of being without her so painful that you just want to go even faster?
You may not be realizing this, but your emotions are making your thoughts go over-time. In fact, your thoughts may be going so fast that your body can’t keep up.
Your thoughts may have moved on, but your body is still stuck in all the feelings and emotions that came out of your little daydream session.
So when is it too much?
When you’re no longer yourself anymore.
Which is a hard diagnosis to make by yourself.
That’s why you want to reach out to your friends and family for a second opinion.
People from the outside have a clearer view. No doubt they’ve noticed your change in behavior if you’ve lost your way.
#2 Carry on with your life as nothing has changed
From the diagnostic to the cure: How do I tame this all-consuming love?
Luckily for you, the remedy is pretty simple. However, applying the solution could be quite challenging.
The best solution is to continue living your life like you used to.
Yeah, it’s that easy. Continue the grind.
This is what it comes down to:
If you are moving too fast, you’ve likely forgotten to pay any attention to your own life. Physically, you were there, at work, with friends, but your mind was on cloud 9.
One of the main reasons you are moving too fast is probably because you AREN’T happy with the way things are going.
And instead improving your life yourself, you think the company of a pretty girl can do it for you.
NEWSFLASH: It can’t.
Even if you get a girlfriend, she’ll only distract you from your unhappiness for a bit.
But once the novelty wears off, you’ll feel just as unhappy as before.
That’s why you need to work on your life before you get into a relationship.
If you can manage that, you won’t just have a happy life, but you’ll be able to look at your crush with clear eyes.
Suddenly she won’t seem to divine to you, just human.
For more tips and tricks on becoming more level-headed, check this article:
#3: Realise that your loved one is a human being
If you can’t get a woman out of your head, you’re probably imagining her as a goddess.
Just like I’ve mentioned above: She has transformed into a goddess and has lost her human aspects.
She’s perfect from every angle, in and out.
She is just like Venus, with no flaws.
But every person is human, just like something Gandhi could’ve said.
So prepare yourself, you’re imagining a woman like she’s perfect.
A Goddess has unlimited powers, but the powers of a person are limited.
You need to detach from your fantasies are start thinking realistically.
That’s how you shield yourself from disappointments and letdowns. Because the moments where you loved one acts differently from how you imagined her in your fairy tale mind, you’ll be thinking;
“I am 100% sure she was different than that.”
Again: it helps to seek distraction and to spend less time on your thoughts.
It might also be the case that you are in love with someone without them knowing it. Because you haven’t had the time or courage to tell them how you feel.
If that’s the case you only have one thing left to do, take action!
The best way to compare your illusion to reality is by getting to know her.
Read the following article if you’re at this phase and need some guidance:
#4: Keep your head cool
Someone who is going too fast often transforms into a desperate romantic.
He flies around his beloved like a bee, doesn’t give her a second alone, and for fun, will scroll hours through her Insta feed.
I’m talking from experience, I know what it feels like when you just go overboard with your feelings towards someone.
And I know how important it is to learn how to prevent these moments from happening.
A man who can’t handle these feelings is unbearable in a relationship. He is so clingy like a puppy that won’t even give the woman some space to even breathe.
If you’ve gone too far and consider her to be perfect, she’ll feel that you admire her. But not in the good sense. She doesn’t feel flattered.
No, she now sees you like a caveman sacrificing a virgin to a volcano to gain favor with the Gods.
In other words: she sees you like a groveling worshipper. Not exactly the type of guy most women would like to date.
And because she feels like you worship the ground she walks on, she loses interest.
You have placed yourself so far beneath her, all sexual feelings she had for you are gone.
In her eyes, you now have the sex appeal of a lamp.
How do you solve all this and make her want to be with you again?
By NEVER putting her on a pedestal, and by standing up for yourself whenever she crosses the line.
Do you not even have a line or standard that she can cross?
Then you better create some, boyo. Because if she can’t do you any wrong, you may think you’re being some kind of holy Buddha, but what you actually are is someone with no self-respect.
And that type of person is no fun to be around.
For more tips on how to make women chase you, check out this article:
#5: Try to keep a slow and steady pace
Alright, so you’ve been on a few dates and you guys just totally hit it off.
Even though you’re away from her, the butterflies in your stomach are going berserk and the only thing you can think about is seeing her again.
No wonder they call beautiful women ‘enchanting’. It feels like they put a spell on you.
So what‘s best to do in situations like these?
Do you instantly shoot her a text with suggestions to meet up again?
Do you wait for her to message you first?
Or do you play it a little slow and reach out later?
Honestly, it depends.
If she’s crazy about you, there’s no reason to wait. Unless you want to tease her, you cheeky son of a gun.
But if you feel like you’re developing feelings far more quickly than her?
Then I’d advise you to chill out a little.
Perhaps really question your feelings about her:
“Or is she just one of the first girls since a long time who’s giving you a little bit of attention?”
“Or is she just one of the first girls since a long time who’s giving you a little bit of attention?”
If it’s the latter, CHILL. THE. FUGG. OUT.
Your biology is playing tricks on you because your penor wants to shoot some babies. But don’t let that side of yourself make the decisions!
It’ll probably scare her off.
So relax and learn to appreciate what you already have.
Go have fun with your friends, go for a walk or a swim. Heck, go on a fishing trip in a kayak, anything that will remind you that you don’t need her.
Now if you’re wondering what you should text her after a date, check out this article:
#6: Give it time, don’t rush the process
It’s time to learn about the last no-go-zone and how you should avoid it:
Prematurely wanting to ask her to be your girlfriend.
Were you planning on making things official?
Boy, are you lucky that you found this article before you made your move. Because that would have probably ended badly!
Now, don’t get me wrong.
Relationships are a beautiful thing. You just don’t want to rush things, or else they may not even be a relationship.
After all, one of the biggest attraction killers is trying to make moves that the other person isn’t ready for.
And what’s even the rush?
If you’re spending time together, who cares if you’re ‘officially’ together or not? It’s just a formality. Don’t worry about it.
Just go with the flow.
If you guys are really in love and see each other often, then you guys are pretty much in a relationship already.
Don’t be afraid that she’ll suddenly disappear because you haven’t made her your girlfriend.
That’s not what keeps people together in the first place.
People stick together because they enjoy each other’s company. 😉
So don’t worry about making her your girlfriend.
Do you really want to make her yours?
Here’s a step-by-step manual that’ll teach you- without moving too fast- how to go from a date to a relationship:
Madly in love, but in a good way
I hope that these tips will help you stay grounded and get you some peace of mind.
If not: a month in a temple with some Buddhists on the Himalayas could do wonders.
Stay cool, stay calm and enjoy the love.
Also check out my free Transformation Kit for your love life below.
Dan the Ram.