Frustrated, angry or depressed about the lack of your sexual satisfaction? No bueno amigo.
Perhaps you’ve developed a grudge against women or men who do have a satisfying sex life. That would be MUCHO no bueno.
Let’s fix this sexual frustration thing and 10x your attractiveness right here and now.
I’ve listed the characteristics of sexual frustration. And give advice for each of them so you can overcome them and quickly start achieving the satisfying sex-life you desire.
But note! A few subtle signs of sexual frustration that most tend to overlook are in the list too. These are hidden killers. Don’t think lightly of these and skip ahead.
- How to defeat the most destructive form of sexual frustration
- How to overcome victim mentality
- 3 Subtle signs of frustration that men tend to overlook
- How to quickly defeat sexual frustration side effects
- Why fidgeting with your beer means you haven’t gotten laid in ages
- What ‘being needy’ ACTUALLY means and how to irradicate it from your life
- 5 Reasons behind sexual frustration in your relationship
- And much more…
First something important:
An attractive man has no room for toxicity in his life.
If you sense you have a grudge on women or you have overly toxic feelings towards women, I strongly advise you to seek professional help.
I’m here to give you a kick on the butt, to take action and help you exactly with how to satisfy your sex-life. I’m not a doctor that can fix mental issues
With that out of the way. Let’s jump right in.
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
What is sexual frustration?
Here’s my definition of sexual frustration:
Sexual frustration is the inability to enjoy sex. The reasons for this are many. You may simply not have a sexual partner. It can be that some physical or mental barriers are preventing you from actually enjoying sex. Or you are not satisfied with your current sexual partner(s).
After reading this article you WILL have once again the ability to enjoy sex and pursue the satisfying sex-life that you want.
Let’s go in
Tip #1: Don’t get angry easily (hint: especially at the wrong person)
Sorry, mate. I’m not going to beat about the bush on this one.
Because this is one of the most devastating symptoms of sexual frustration.
I say devastating because this symptom lowers your sex appeal to the absolute bottom.
If you’re less attractive, then you get even less attention from the opposite sex, which initiates a vicious circle of sexual frustration.
Maybe you’ve been through this before:
Your best friend walks in and starts telling you all about the incredible girl he’s dating. Perhaps he had a one-night stand, or maybe he’s already on the fourth date with a woman with whom he has a great time!
He shares every little detail of how great their connection is and all the acrobatics performances they do in bed.
He’s having a great time, after all!
Sure, you get a little jealous from time to time. Everyone does.
When one of our dating coaches manage (again) to get a threesome, I sometimes feel it too. Jealousy is natural.
However, jealousy is a clear sign of frustration when you’re always envious of your friend’s successful sex life.
That means you react out of jealousy instead of friendship.
Because while I can sometimes be a bit jealous of my team, 99.69% of the time I’m just very proud of them.
Let’s suppose someone from your group of friends is talking about his new girlfriend.
What follows are examples of what a sexually unsatisfied guy would say.
He makes comments like:
- “Yeah yeah yeah… The same stories all over again.”
- “Well, she’s doesn’t seem to be that much fun.”
- “Pfff hahaha, do you really fall for that one?!”
These passive–aggressive negative remarks are all clear signs of frustration. By the way, sexual frustration also exists among women. I am a dating coach for men so I focus on men in this article.
Alright, so let’s say you make this kind of comments sometimes. Question yourself, what are you actually jealous of?
Maybe you’re not jealous of the woman your buddy is dating. Perhaps you don’t even find her attractive.
But you’re jealous of his fulfilled dating life, or rather:
Because of your lack of sexual satisfaction, you can’t be happy for someone else.
This creates a permanent cloud of negativity over your head.
Now, look out!
Because negativity is a big turn off for women, your sexual attraction is declining as a result, which increases your sexual frustration. This completes the vicious circle.
On top of that, you express your frustration towards your friends, which is totally not cool.
We’ll discuss it in more detail in tip #5 (there is hope!)
But first let’s talk about another sexual frustration syndrome symptom.
Tip #2: Sign to spot the level of sexual frustration
Once, I was fidgeting with the label of the beer in my hands, and someone suddenly called me sexually frustrated.
The philosophy behind this is that your bottle symbolizes the phallus or the body of a woman. Picture the shape of a Coca-Cola bottle.
Is this really a sign of sexual frustration? Or just a silly made-up story?
One thing is for sure: Fidgeting is considered a nervous habit. The same goes for grinding your teeth or touching your hair.
Drinking beer is usually something you do in a social context. You may be just not socially comfortable in the company of others.
Fidgeting with the label of your beer is a sign of nervousness. But it can also be a symptom of sexual frustration.
Among attractive people you are confronted with your inability to get laid. This causes you to fidget, and play with your hands.
What I’m describing here is a mild symptom, so you should take it with a grain of salt.
Which is why it’s essential that you must learn more about other symptoms…
Tip #3: Stop complaining about women
I’ve got a friend who’s always complaining about girls. The situation is also quite weird. He’s a handsome tall blond muscular guy. He’s smart and has a decent job.
He doesn’t like his job though, and he’s a bit lost in life. But if you’d see him, you’d say he gets a lot of attention from ladies. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. He actually hasn’t had sex for ages.
He has doubts about everything in life. Almost every decision he has to make ends up in an endless hesitation. This upsets him a lot. It’s one of the reasons he has an empty dating life.
Instead of taking responsibility for his situation… he’d rather complain about women. He complains about Dutch women in particular. “They’re not pretty enough,” “They’re too dominant,” etc…
A friend once asked him:
Which I jumped right in with:
That was rather cruel, I admit. I’m friendlier to clients, I promise.
At the same time why hide the truth from him? Blaming Dutch girls is just one of his defense mechanisms. He doesn’t see it, but the problem lies in him.
Take responsibility for your life. Don’t blame anyone for your situation or problems.
Tip #4: Stop taking things too seriously
I’m going to resist the temptation to put “Why so serious” Joker meme here.
I regularly see the following symptom in sexually frustrated men.
Now, what am I talking about?
Their inability to differentiate between a joke and an insult.
It’s pretty common among friends to tease each other. Sure, it can be gentle. But sometimes teasing is quite heavy.
When one of your friends jokes about your sex life being “drier than the Sahara” most likely he doesn’t mean to upset you.
But when you have an unsatisfied sex life, even a friendly joke can be taken the wrong way. It feels like someone is playing with a match next to a big box filled with dynamite. Instead of laughing, you react by exploding into anger!
The words come out of your mouth before you can even realize. You regret it two seconds later.
This clearly shows that you’re suffering from some emotional pain, which is a common sexual frustration effect.
A great way to deal with this issue is to start working on yourself.
How can you do that? Read this article to find out:
Here’s the next signal:
Tip #5: Stop daydreaming about sex, instead do something about it
In the city center, you stare at every beautiful woman walking past you.
On the bus you fantasize about a hot night in bed with that gorgeous colleague of yours.
At night you masturbate thinking of a girl you’re in love with.
You’re sexually obsessed. And all day long, you live in a fantasy world, full of sex and love. But you’re not acting for it at all.
Whenever you think about talking to a girl, going out, or approaching a woman during the day… your first reaction is, “yeah, I’ll do it tomorrow”
Procrastination is dangerous. Years quickly fly by without you realizing it. It’s time to wake up, mate…
Tomorrow is too late! Time for you to take action!
If you want to make yourself more attractive quickly, there is a simple solution: The Transformation Kit.
I created this bonus including my best opening lines, friend zone advice, and all the texting tips you may need. With this, you can get your dating life on track NOW!
Download it right here; it’s completely free and easy to use.
Read on and find out what’s the next sexual frustration effect:
Tip #6: Stop believing life is unfair
This one might come as a surprise.
Do you think that the world is unfair?
That some have it all while others have nothing at all?
Maybe you even think it’s very unfair that you barely ever meet girls, while others date the most beautiful women right in front of your eyes!
Well, I’ve got news for you…
The world is unfair.
Not everyone has the same opportunities in life; not everyone is equally smart or handsome.
That’s a fact.
The world is the way it is. You may agree or disagree, but it’s not going to change a thing. Complaining about how unfair is everything is a common sexual frustration effect.
But it’s also a symptom of something worse:
Luckily, I have a solution.
Read the following tip and you’ll know exactly what to do.
Read this to know how to deal with sexual frustration
You might still be a virgin, or maybe you got laid a long time ago already.
As you now know, you mustn’t let sexual frustration dominate you. Otherwise, you’ll be drowned in negativity and victimization… while you might as well have a happy love life, right?
A major breakthrough you can make is by changing the perspective you have of a negative feeling.
Let me explain. Sexual frustration can be bad, but it also can be a good thing. You see, when it helps you to act on it, frustration can lead to an amazing feeling of accomplishment. And a lot of sex. Believe me though, the feeling of accomplishment is even more powerful than getting a lot of girls in bed.
You can see frustration as stimulation or motivation.
Make sure to know that being sexually unsatisfied is not part of who you are. There’s nothing to be ashamed of either. This only makes the situation worse than it is. You’re too hard on yourself. And as a result, you don’t act on it as you should do.
See frustration as a call for action!
Trying to control your frustration is only going to reinforce it. As soon as you start accepting it, frustration will begin to reduce by itself.
Being attractive is not a gift or a talent. It’s a mindset you can learn.
What about seduction? Same here, seducing girls is a skill that can be learnt.
Here’s an article which teaches you how to be good at hitting on women:
Tip #7: Dealing with sexual frustration in your relationship
I have a feeling that all the single guys reading this article are very surprised now.
I get it. Sexual frustration in a relationship is more common than you think though.
Having a girlfriend doesn’t necessarily mean living in abundance of sex.
The most annoying thing is…
Men who are sexually frustrated in their relationships often blame themselves for it!
The causes are many. I’ll give a summary.
The causes of sexual frustration in a relationship:
- Sex is repetitive and stuck in a boring routine.
- Emotional issues due to infidelity or other problems in your relationship.
- You’re not as physically attracted to each other as before (often a taboo subject)
- Hormones like testosterone play a role.
- Lack of sexual generosity. For example, when your partner only focuses on her pleasure during sex.
The best thing you can do is always to question yourself first. As we discussed earlier in this article, pointing a finger at someone else is not going to solve anything. Perhaps focusing entirely on satisfying your girlfriend in bed is what you need to do to see the sexual attraction rising again in the relationship.
It might be that you’re in a relationship rut, and it’s affecting both you and your girlfriend. This often happens after many years of being with someone.
Or maybe there are deeper problems in your couple, such as cheating or constant arguing.
Either way, sexual frustration can lead to bad consequences… Read what follows, and you’ll see what I mean.
Tip #8: How to live longer
Researches have shown that sexual frustration and depression might lead to a shorter lifespan.
They experimented with fruit flies. The poor flies were put in a situation where they expected sex… but would never get any.
It caused stress that reduced the flies’ ability to store fat, resulting in an earlier death.
Science has already shown that excessive stress has a bad impact on human health. We can’t say that for sure yet, but sexual frustration may also shorten your lifespan.
Tip #9: Lying and bragging is for losers
This can take different forms. Commonly, men lie about how many sexual partners they’ve had.
When becoming sexually frustrated, one of the consequences for many men is that you’re ashamed of it. It’s quite immature when you think of it. But for a lot of guys, sexual performance/ abundance is closely linked to their self-esteem or masculinity.
So, out of shame, you start lying about your sex life.
Men who are sexually unsatisfied say things like:
- “I’ve taken 30 women home this month!”
- “She’s really into me, but I’m just not interested in her.”
- “Getting girls is so easy! I just don’t have the time for it anymore. But back in the days, I was in bed with a different woman every day! Blah blah blah…”
That’s why I never trust guys bragging about the 100 women they’ve slept with.
Anyway, yeah, men lie about this sometimes. Some even bother to put an empty condom in their trash or make up entire stories.
Tinder coach Louis has a friend who still gets teased about the night “he suddenly arranged a trio” after he went home early. The story sounded highly unlikely to be true… and guess what?
Tip #10: Fix needy behavior
This symptom of sexual frustration is best explained through WhatsApp or Tinder.
Think of when a girl is not answering your message, and you want to send a new text right away.
… I get this question all the time in my newsletter.
Some guys even admitted that they were in love with their Tinder match.
I don’t want to be too harsh, but man… it’s totally ridiculous to be in love with someone you’ve never met. Keep in mind “she” can be a fat 93 years old guy.
A needy man invests too much in the perceptions women have in him. He craves for female attention.
Pay attention, my friend, we’re going in-depth on this topic right now.
Neediness rises when you rely on something external to be happy. In this case, a girl.
It’s totally fine to desire a woman. That’s love and it’s beautiful!
However, there’s a big difference between “wanting something from someone” and “wanting something with someone.”
For instance, it might be that you only feel good when she’s nice to you. Or you rely on sex to feel good. You no longer act on the core belief that you are “good enough” as a human being, but instead, you let someone else control your happiness and self–esteem.
You want something from her. Her attention, her approval, her physical presence… that makes you incredibly needy.
And she doesn’t like it, because she can see that you want something from her, instead of wanting something with her!
People take responsibility for their happiness. In a relationship, of course, you support each other. But you shouldn’t depend on your girlfriend to be happy.
So, make sure you want to be happy WITH her, not that your happiness depends on her.
Tip #11: Stop making generalizations about women
I often notice guys with this symptom in the comments under my YouTube videos.
As a result of their sexual frustration, men start making far too simple statements. For example, they talk nonsense like:
- “Women only want good-looking guys.”
- “Women only care about how rich you are.“
- “Women want so much from you, it’s just impossible to satisfy them.”
These are far too general statements. It’s not possible to generalize what women are. Even if this were true for 50% of the women (which is by no means the case), this is an insane oversimplification of how sexual attraction works.
A lot of women are attracted to handsome, rich, famous, and muscular guys. But it’s not because women are attracted to superficial things like money or shiny cars.
The truth is that women like men with high status, men who are ambitious and in charge of their lives.
If you want to know what exactly makes women attracted to men, I got you covered:
That’s why a beginning YouTuber or a broke athlete can be very attractive. They don’t make any money, but they have the potential to be successful. They show that they want to make something of their lives!
This isn’t about looks or money.
It’s about her wanting someone who’ll take her on adventures, someone with whom she’ll feel alive.
She doesn’t want a relationship with a passionless guy who plays video games all day. She wants a man who makes something of his life.
That’s why it’s so important that you take some action. In my newsletter, I regularly send tips to stay motivated in developing your social/dating skills. Subscribe here.< possible soon
Tip #12: You masturbate too much (and with porn)?
When you masturbate every day but haven’t been intimate with anyone in years…
…it’s a clear sign that you have a craving for sex, and you do not satisfy that need.
Masturbation is perfectly normal. Don’t be ashamed of that. The fact that you masturbate doesn’t make you sexually frustrated. However, I do recommend trying to go without masturbating for an extended period, but that’s another story.
The problem lies with porn.
Watching too much porn is going to increase your sexual frustration. Your brain gets a profusion of sexual stimuli from all the videos you watch every time you masturbate.
From a rational point of view, you probably understand that porn is “not real.”
What I mean is:
- Sex isn’t that extreme (full of squirt orgasms and giant penises, for example)
- The women often get plastic surgery
- Actresses’ reactions of pleasure are highly exaggerated
You understand rationally that sex isn’t like that. But emotionally it’s another story.
For your emotional brain, it seems as if everyone has the wildest sex life ever, while you’re just watching it on your own.
It creates a gap between you and sex. You’re more likely to feel like a spectator than a participant. As if you are meant to only experience sex as a fantasy, but never experience it yourself.
On top of that, unconsciously, you’ll start trying to meet porn unrealistic standards: large genitals, extreme reactions, and super long sex sessions.
Tip #13: “Women are the enemy and men are rivals”
This is a very advanced signal of an unsatisfied sex life.
The frustration is so intense that you’re always looking at the dark side of everything. The world is a bad place; everybody’s always working against you.
As a result, some guys start thinking that women are “against him.” They start making statements about women being evil, for example.
Your frustration also makes you think of men as competition. You see every guy as a threat as if their only goal was to steal women away from you.
Can you see why this mindset is a problem? Everything you think and do is based on this idea that everyone is working against each other. A far more accurate and positive mindset is to believe in the perspective of togetherness.
Thinking from the perspective of ‘competition and threat’ is a mindset that does not make you charismatic. Even if you keep those negative beliefs for yourself, people are going to perceive your negative energy anyway. And negative energy is not attractive.
You don’t have to be everyone’s best friend, either. But never assume that people are rude and full of bad intentions. Most people aren’t. However, if you’re always expecting people to fuck you over, you’ll send negative signals, and people will start acting accordingly.
That’s why it’s so important to keep taking positive action.
And to help you with this and stop your sexual frustration, I have my Transformation Kit for you. .
You’ll get everything you need for a flying start: a lot of flirting tips, both for real-life situations and Tinder/WhatsApp.
In short: this pack helps you to become an incredibly attractive man.
Dan de Ram