You are seeing a nice girl every now and then.
She’s running through your mind all day. But the longer you see her, the more doubtful she gets.
Even though you’re convinced that you are a match made in heaven, she sees that differently.
That’s why you have that one question stuck in your head: “Why doesn’t she like me?”
You will receive the answer to that question right here. You will discover:
- The 10 most common reasons why someone is not attracted to you
- What you want to stop doing NOW before you scare her off forever
- How to transform yourself from ‘Mwah’ to Dream man
- 12 easy to remember lines you can use to seduce her
- Why it almost didn’t work out between my first big love and I
- The best way to make her fall in love with you
- A video that will explain what to do when your girlfriend doesn’t like you like she used to
- And much more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Why doesn’t she like me?
In the past 10+ years, I have been teaching skills of seduction to literally thousands of men.
And even though the underlying principles of attraction are all the same, every man needs a slightly different approach to become more attractive to women.
However, if you coach enough men with certain forms of unattractive behavior, you will notice certain patterns that every man displays.
Based on those patterns, I have constructed 10 reasons.
Here are the 10 reasons why she doesn’t like me:
- There’s missing a spark
- You don’t have enough in common
- She is emotionally unavailable right now
- You are using seduction ‘tricks’ instead of just being attractive
- You don’t set clear boundaries, so she walks all over you
- You’re afraid to touch her
- You’re too focused on logical – as opposed to emotional conversations
- You show your rough side too little
- You’re too focused on getting her as opposed to considering if she’s right for you
- You give her the feeling you’re not honest about your character and your opinions
I will also explain to you exactly how these reasons arise. Because only by knowing that can you repair the situation or prevent it from ever happening again!
Tip #1: You give too much away
Maybe you recognize this situation:
(Either in yourself or in someone else.)
Two people are out on a date.
One is giving a lot of compliments. The other enjoys getting those compliments.
Person A keeps giving compliments with the speed of a firing assault rifle.
The more compliments are being thrown around, the more the recipient loses interest.
It’s becoming too much.
And after the compliment volley has ended, the recipient sits there bored to death.
Now, I’m not saying that you specifically gave too many COMPLIMENTS. But there’s a good chance that, in essence, you were doing the same thing…
The principle of investing.
The next example will clarify my point completely:
Let’s say that you invest $10,000 in Bitcoin. Then you would care a lot if the value rises or declines by 15%.
It would feel extremely good… or extremely shitty. While another person couldn’t care less.
Because this person hasn’t invested a single penny.
The same happens in dating.
In fact, it’s the biggest mistake you could make when you like her, but she doesn’t like you back. Leaving you saying: “I don’t know why she doesn’t like me…”
The date would then feel very complicated to her because she notices that you’re not on the same level of investment.
You have already valued the contact on 10,000, while she’s only on 2,000.
She notices that you are already overly invested in being together while she’s emotionally still in another place.
She will start to think things like:
- “He’s already expecting so much from me…”
- “He’s already in love, but I’m not sure yet…”
- “Hmm, he’s already sold; there’s zero challenge left…”
(By the way, might you be reading this as a gay woman, replace the word ‘he’ with ‘she.’)
So it’s important that you take a step back and don’t start texting too often or ask for her attention in another way.
Before you know, your girl wants a break:
Tip #2: Your love life is empty
The summary of a question I regularly find in my inbox.
The writer obviously wants a straightforward answer.
I would love to give an answer like that.
But I can impossibly answer this question specifically without more context.
Luckily I will systematically tick off every big reason, so you can determine where your attraction-bottleneck lies.
To further explain my point, I’d like to talk about…
Imagine you are starving of hunger and you find a cracker. That dry cracker is the best meal you’ve ever had.
It’s so good that it could be served as an appetizer, main course, and dessert; that’s how good it is.
Of course, objectively speaking, that cracker is not a great dish. It’s just some wheat flour with salt.
A lack of women has the same effect.
If you’re going through a dry spell of several months and you finally get a whiff of attention from a woman…
…. you will see her as an unopened box of crackers on a deserted island.
Every time you look at her, your mouth starts to water.
Though she never explicitly says it, every smile, touch or message feels like an invitation to eat her alive.
Though you probably won’t admit that to yourself.
But your hunger-delirium has stopped you from seeing clearly long ago.
And because you see things that aren’t there, you go way too fast.
That’s how you fall into the overinvestment-trap:
- You send her messages too regularly
- You give her way too many compliments and/or cute nicknames
- You’re too pushy on scheduling dates
- You might be a little bit too touchy
In short, you’re making all these romantic gestures that she’s not ready for yet.
And that scares her away.
Even in a relationship, this could make a woman stop being attracted to you.
Leaving you behind puzzled, saying: “I don’t know why she doesn’t like me anymore.”
The worst part?
Even non-romantic attention can scare her away.
As you will see in the next tip.
Tip #3: How you feed her Kryptonite
Maybe she really liked you in the beginning, but then you did the following…
You fed her kryptonite.
Her biggest weakness.
For the none-nerds among us: kryptonite is the one thing that can harm the otherwise invincible Superman.
Correct, my dear reader.
But this kryptonite most definitely exists.
You probably know it by another name:
In other words, the feeling that you need her.
The classic example of this is a drunk guy in the bar who is completely enchanted by a woman, is all over her and bombards her with many boring questions, just to keep the conversation going.
Why are women so allergic to this kind of behavior?
Because the needy man wants something FROM her instead of wanting something WITH her.
In fact, he’s basically saying: “I already know: you have something that I want and I will do anything to get it.”
But he doesn’t think much about her needs or wishes.
It needs no explanation that this repels women enormously.
And on top of that, the woman from the bar didn’t have to prove herself at all. She was simply pretty.
That’s why receiving attention from a needy man is not particularly seen as a compliment.
Because it’s shallow.
The worst part of neediness?
You often don’t even realize that you are needy!
Do you recognize yourself in any of the following things?
- You wonder what’s going on when you haven’t heard from her for a day
- You brood endlessly about what to send to her
- Your heart skips a beat when you get a message from her
- You’re the one who does most of the talking
Then I have some sad news to share with you, bro.
You are most probably feeding her kryptonite.
Making her more nauseous than a toddler on a roller coaster.
The fact is, you’re constantly looking for approval. That’s why you give her so much attention.
What are you communicating with that excessive attention?
That your world revolves around her.
Pretty weird, especially if you don’t know her that well.
So instead of being her Superman, you’re behaving as her Lex Luthor.
Afraid that you’re feeding her kryptonite?
- Put your phone on airplane mode more often
- Meet new women, so you become less dependent on her
- Dive (back) into school/career and hobbies/interests
Tip #4: You’re too crabby
I mean this quite literally: You might be too much like a crab.
Making her not like you.
So, what on earth do crabs do that is so unattractive?
Apart from the fact that crabs look f*#cking scary, these ten-legged sea creatures have a bizarre quality.
Which I can illustrate best with the following example.
Crabs are pretty good climbers. If you put a crab in a bucket, it would easily find its way out.
If you put a group of crabs in the same bucket, everything changes.
Though the crabs and the bucket are the same, no crab will be able to escape now.
Not because the crab can no longer climb.
But because the other crabs will pull you down out of jealousy.
Does our Houdini crab make another escape attempt?
Then the rest will break his arms.
Does he – against better judgment – try to escape again?
The escape artist will be KILLED.
What does this have to do with you?
Possibly, you’re also being crabby to the people in your environment.
How do you behave when others try to better their lives and climb out of that ‘bucket?’
Do you encourage them, or do you kill their dreams?
Honestly, this behavior is quite extreme. So I don’t expect you to be like this.
But most of us are crabby in many other ways.
- We’re Inflexible Irenes with zero adaptability.
- We’re Insecure Isaacs and sometimes feel attacked for no reason.
- We’re Negative Nicks and always see the glass half empty. “Everything used to be better in the good old days.”
- We’re Story Toppers, “You just got a promotion and that’s all you’re earning? I made that when I just started out.”
- We’re Bossy Bobs and we impose our opinion onto others. “No, no, no, you are COMPLETELY wrong.”
- We’re Long-toed Lennies, “How dare you be so insensitive!? My wife died in a plane crash.”
How do you know if you’re crabby?
Ask people in your environment for feedback.
“Hey, maybe a weird question, but I would like your honest and unfiltered opinion about this. Am I a difficult person to be around? Please tell me how and why. I want to become the best version of myself.”
Tip #5: A very common mistake
Sometimes two people are perfect for each other and the attraction gets lost because…
…you know what?
Let me explain this mistake to you with an example…
You go on a date and you visit a pool-café and an ice cream parlor.
You have an amazing click and there’s a lot of laughter.
When the end of the date comes near, you give her a hug goodbye.
Before you go off to bed, you get a message from her saying she had a great time.
Later on, you have a second, third and even a fourth date that pretty much goes the same way.
You propose to go on a fifth date, but she turns you down and says:
Oof… painful bro.
What went wrong here?
Why did she go on 4 dates with you if she was interested in another man?
Newsflash: She probably wasn’t interested in another guy when she was dating you, but when you didn’t make a move, she lost interest in YOU!
So, where did it go wrong?
You were too passive!
Even though women love being together, chat and laugh, women are most definitely also looking for…
(I hope you’ve guessed it by now.)
If you never show that you desire her, she will lose interest. She might still see you as a friend but not as her boyfriend.
In this example, they only shared a hug. Depending on the woman, kissing wouldn’t even have been exciting enough.
That’s how my first girlfriend told me (we were 20 at the time) that she found it super weird that I still hadn’t touched her boobs after three dates.
While I actually thought kissing was already rather exciting.
The point is, if you don’t become physical enough, she will make assumptions about you.
Those assumptions don’t even have to be true. She could think that you’re shy or inexperienced or maybe she could think that you’re not attracted to her.
And she might end the contact. Or she will put you in the dreaded friendzone while she looks for a man who can please her.
Are you too ‘friendly?’
Show physical interest and take it one step further each date.
Tip #6: The most common reason for rejection
At some level, we all understand that attraction comes from a good conversation.
The thing that men get wrong is that they don’t understand what constitutes a good conversation.
Most men think:
And that’s exactly right.
Oh, wait. No, that is exactly WRONG.
Although I understand the reasoning behind it: you want to get to know her, so you ask questions.
And that is exactly the problem. Logic doesn’t build romance or friendships.
Imagine the next 2 scenarios:
On the same day, you have two appointments scheduled: having a cup of coffee with Fred and navigating a minefield with Frank.
You’re quite familiar with having coffee.
You walk into a coffee shop, you sit across each other and you have some small talk. After half an hour, you know Fred a little better, but you don’t really consider him your friend yet.
So you don’t really care if you see him again.
Then, you navigate a minefield with Frank.
You enter a park, you shake Frank’s hand and you are blindfolded. Frank then guides you to a field that’s full of wooden boards.
Without looking, you have to navigate the minefield. The only way to get out of here alive is with Frank’s instructions.
After 15 minutes and having ‘lost’ a couple of limbs, Frank finally guides you through the minefield. Now you change roles.
Now for the big question: both ‘dates’ were equally long, with whom do you have a stronger connection?
Mr. Coffee Fred or Minedodger Frank?
Frank, of course.
Even though you hardly know anything of each other (as you were both too focused on the game,) you have a way stronger connection with Frank.
Because Frank took on the role of a teammate. “Look out!” “Yes! Great job!” “Hold on a little longer and we got it.”
Do you want deeper connections with women?
Focus on emotions. Not logic.
Thinking logically ruins 9/10 conversations with women.
But how do you know if you’re in a logical mindset?
If you can’t have a full conversation with a nice woman without thinking:
“Shit… What do I say now?”
Luckily I have the perfect solution for this problem.
The boring conversation killer.
A collection of 15+ fun example lines that inject a healthy dose of fun into the conversation.
Tip #7: You’re sick
Ho, ho. No need to book an appointment with a doctor just yet.
Though serious, your sickness does not require a physician.
Just a little medication in the form of this tip.
Although we should see if you need that medication in the first place.
For proper diagnosis, all you need to do is answer the following question truthfully:
Do you ever get frustrated with women because you put so much effort into seducing them but get little in return?
Then you’re suffering from something very unpleasant. Something that will make no woman like you.
It’s most commonly known as:
Nice Guy Syndrome.
Symptoms of this horrendous disease include:
- Making your current crush or girlfriend your #1 priority
- Always being sugar-sweet to women
- Saying ‘no’ to a woman is practically impossible for you
- You avoid any chance of conflict or confrontation
- You suppress your own needs for those of others
- You don’t understand why women always fall for ‘assholes’
Does this sound familiar?
Then we should quickly find a solution.
Because now you’re killing your level of attraction faster than the speed of light.
Because Nice Guys aren’t sweet out of love, but out of selfishness.
They give in order to get.
Do they get nothing? Then they become angry.
So the Nice Guy Syndrome makes you two-faced and fake.
And women recognize that fake behavior within the blink of an eye.
Do you want her to like you?
Then the Nice Guy virus must be extracted from your body.
And to achieve that, there is no better cure than…
Standing your ground.
You see, the Nice Guy Syndrome can’t handle confrontation.
So, the way to attracting women is if you:
- Speak your truth
- Don’t hide your imperfections
- Are not afraid to voice your opinion (even if she doesn’t share it)
- Embrace your sexuality and express it
Tip #8: Falling in love starts with you
A big chunk of my clients take part in my courses or boot camps because they’re in a situation of unanswered love.
They often seek my advice because of the same problem: “This amazing girl doesn’t like me anymore.”
This means I’ve coached hundreds of men with the same problem as you.
And it’s almost always the same thing.
Nowadays, I only need one question to come up with the right diagnosis.
Because almost all men in this situation come to me with the following question:
The answer is hidden in this seemingly innocent question.
You can’t make someone fall in love with you.
There is no pill, magic spell or bank statement in the world that can make her fall in love with you.
So, what is my answer to their question?
Be someone she WANTS to fall in love with.
That will not only increase your chances with your dream woman but also with all other women.
While working to become the best version of yourself, you will become:
- More muscular
So think long and hard about who you want to be and take a step in that direction every day.
That way you will get more satisfaction out of life and you will also become more attractive.
For more practical tips, grab my free Transformation Kit.
Tip #9: You’re too Disney
Relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman discovered the magic formula to having a successful relationship.
Dr. Gottman is a practicing psychologist but studied mathematics at MIT. That’s why his psychological researches are always backed up with mathematical formulas.
Using those formulas, Gottman can observe a couple having a conversation, and within 15 minutes, determine the likelihood of that couples’ success with an accuracy of 90%.
What’s the key to success in every relationship?
For every negative interaction, you want to have at least 5 positive interactions.
Do you have fewer positive interactions? Then your relationship is basically doomed to fail.
Dr. Gottman can back up this statement with a lot of statistics.
But what’s missing about the formula is the following:
If you have 10 positive interactions for every negative interaction, your relationship is also quite wobbly.
Why doesn’t the likelihood of success in your relationship increase with more positivity?
Let me answer that question with another question:
Have you ever lost interest in a woman because she was too nice and didn’t form any type of challenge?
I hope you have.
Because that’s a natural response.
Because nobody gets in a relationship with a Disney character.
Someone who spews positivity 24/7.
Even if that person is genuinely happy all the time, for you, that would be incredibly BORING.
Because it’s too predictable.
It’s a lot more fun when you have a good connection with someone who unexpectedly gives you a piece of her mind.
That’s how the relationship stays fresh.
Now you may be wondering: “Why is she acting like that? What have I done? Is she really mad? Am I going to lose her?”
This doubt is the fuel that keeps the fire of attraction burning.
If having a girlfriend is as sure to you as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west, you will lose interest.
So what does that mean for you?
If she doesn’t like you, that might be because you never stand up for yourself.
You’re Aladdin, but never Jafar.
The funny thing?
If you push her away every now and then, the more she will come back.
Tip #10: You don’t have what it takes
Basically, all men suffer from being utterly clueless about what women are attracted to.
What do you think women are most attracted to in a man?
Probably the following:
- 12-pack abs that you can do your laundry on
- A jawline that can cut marble
- A third leg that would make a whale green of envy
Now I’m not going to deny that those qualities help attract women.
They definitely help.
But they are not the most important.
Because luckily for normal-looking men such as you and I, women don’t fall for looks.
If you refuse to believe this, then here I have solid proof:
If looks were crucial to women, I would have made hundreds of different seduction courses. “FLOW for skinny dudes,” “FLOW for fat dudes,” “FLOW for grandpa’s,” “FLOW for poor guys,” etc.
Sadly enough for my wallet, women fall for one thing. So I only have to offer just one women seduction course to my clients.
So, what’s that one thing that women go nuts for?
The same thing that will leave the most muscular, richest and most popular man of the world eating your dust…
How you make her feel.
You can impossibly be the most eligible man in the world.
But you can be the one that gives her the best feeling in the world.
Returning to the main question: “Why doesn’t she like me?”
Because possibly you might not be able to give her the feelings she wants.
Maybe you’re too young.
The following is pretty harsh, but a man is at his least attractive when he is young:
- He still has little experience with women
- He doesn’t really know what he wants out of life (yet)
- He can’t teach her that much
- He probably can’t give her many new experiences (dinners, fun getaways and holidays)
- He still has little value for society
Is your crush getting the attention of a nice older man and she’s not afraid of being judged by her family or friends?
Then she will probably prefer to give her time to him than to you.
Use this gamechanger
So use your young years to develop yourself, so at a riper age, you’re able to give women exactly what they want.
I have the perfect tool to accomplish this:
The Transformation Kit.
You will learn:
- How to become that attractive man that she desires
- How to escape the friendzone in 5 days
- 12 easy to remember lines to seduce her with
Good luck with the ladies.
Dan de Ram.