5 Possible Reasons She ‘Doesn’t Want a Relationship’ (+One Fix)

She doesn't want a relationship

Your chosen one doesn’t want a relationship with you.

‘Why not?’, you ask yourself as giant self-doubts fill your head:

  • “Am I not good enough for her?”
  • “Am I screwing anything up?”
  • “Doesn’t she love me at all?”

Take a deep breath, bro.

Because in this article, I show you

  • 5 Reasons and solutions why she doesn’t want a relationship
  • Why 99% of men misinterpret the mixed signs of a woman
  • How you can change her being emotionally closed off to you
  • Why she doesn’t want to label your relationship
  • How you can inspire her massively to have a relationship with you
  • Much more…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

5 reasons why she doesn’t want a relationship with you

Is it her?

You share the same dry sense of humor, similar passions, and every time you meet, EVERYTHING seems to fit perfectly between you.

You think she’s… incredible.

Jaime found his Cersei.

Ok, I admit it… obnoxious comparison…

…I really hope you two aren’t siblings.


It’s a fact that she could be Mrs. Right you’ve been longing for.


You can imagine exactly how you two could take over world domination.

But one crucial thing seems to destroy your visions:

She doesn’t share the same vision. She doesn’t want a relationship with you (yet).

That why I give you now the reasons why she might not want a relationship. And what you can do to change her feeling about you.

Reason #1: She isn’t convinced (yet)

“She likes me but doesn’t want a relationship yet…”

You let her know how special she is to you, whereas she barely reciprocates your feelings and seems emotionally closed off/ emotionally unavailable?

She responds to your messages less and less while she says more and more often, that she has ‘no time’ for dates?

Let me introduce you to the all-or-nothing theory.

For most men, it is too complicated to interpret the mixed signals of a woman.

That’s why the wannabe Sherlocks divide women into:

  • She’s totally into me.
  • She must hate me.

This groundbreaking subdivision is as advanced as the invention of Phone Fingers (gummy fingertips that avoid leaving large prints on your mobile phone…)

Women usually fall into a gray zone between these revolutionary conclusions.

How does that look like?

Let’s assume that you have already confessed to her like Average Andy that you have a crush on her.

This says the following about you:

  1. You can’t wait to start a relationship with her
  2. You have a strong urge to see if she feels the same way about you

Remember that entering a relationship is a decision with serious consequences for her:

Her love life changes fundamentally, and she has to take into account the decisions of someone else.

Even if she thinks you’re incredibly satisfying, charming, and attractive – perhaps even if she’s confessing to you that she loves you – she might be unsure whether you are suitable for a relationship.

If you put too much pressure on her, a guaranteed ‘No, I’d rather stay single’ will blow up in your face.

Think about it:

Even if she rejects you, she still has countless men on her waiting list who are crazy for her and can’t wait to meet her.

>> Signs of a Healthy Relationship: 11 Telling Questions.

So, don’t rush it and take it easy on her instead.

That gives you two advantages:

  1. If you admit too soon that you want a relationship with her, you’re just intimidating her
  2. In 999 out of 1,000 cases, she will eventually present you her glorious idea of a mutual relationship (as long as you apply my tips in this article)

“I want to take it easy with her, Dan, but if we’re not together, it means she can see other people, and that makes me jealous.”

Jealousy can be a real b!tch!

It forces you to act needy and paranoid towards your lady.

Especially if you don’t know how to deal with it.

The consequence:

Your potential relationship is over faster than Usain Bolt can run a 100-meter-sprint.

To save you from this horrible fate, I wrote you an article:

-> How to recognize and get rid of pathological jealousy.

“And what makes you so sure that she’ll be more likely to see me as suitable boyfriend material if I take it easy, Dan?”

Good question, bro.

We people of the 21st century are becoming increasingly impatient.

  • You need a new laptop? Two clicks on Amazon – et voilà, tomorrow it will be there.
  • You want to know how your big cousin is doing in Central Africa? A Skype call at the right time takes care of that.
  • Are you interested in the mating behavior of anteaters? Wikipedia is your friend and helper.

Whether information or entire orders:

By pressing just a few buttons, we can get almost anything we want.

In a fraction of a second…

What a blessing.

The curse here, however, is that our impatience also rubs off on our social interactions.

You want a hot girlfriend?

“Yes, preferably by 1-click order! Dan.”

But it doesn’t work that way.

A woman’s emotions take time to develop in your favor.

With one, it takes longer; with the other, it goes faster.

When you show a woman understanding of this, something fantastic happens:

You set yourself apart from all other impatient men and give her the space she needs to develop love for you.

But space is just one variable of the formula for success. If you don’t know how to seduce a woman properly, you can take as much time as you want…

Nothing will happen.

“Sounds reasonable, Dan – but how the hell do I do it?”

No problemo, muchacho.

This is exactly what I will explain to you later in this article.

So, keep your eyes open.

Reason #2: She doesn’t want to give up her freedom

Imagine your chica is 15 and meets her first ‘great love’ in middle school.

After they have shown each other their Tamagotchis, they come together.

Young love – oh, how romantic.

In contrast to the other failed hand-holding-when-nobody-sees relationships, these two stay together until they are 23.

Eight f*cking years.

They even went through puberty together.

>> How to Tease Women – 7 Ways She Actually Likes + 11 Examples.

When she goes out for the first time after their relationship, a new world is revealed to her.

Without coming home and encountering a man who greets her with crocodile tears because he didn’t know where she had gone, she discovers a gigantic treasure:


‘Holy Mother Mary does that feel good’; she thinks to herself as she enjoys the new attention of hundreds of men who are crazy about her.

Even if her eight-year relationship was beautiful, she doesn’t want to miss her new feeling so easily.

And then she meets you.

Perfect timing, bro.

Winning her over immediately in this situation is as hard as hiding a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s from a hungry girlfriend.

The only thing you can do in this situation:

Let her know that her need for freedom is perfectly fine.

Go on a date with her; don’t set any pressure, and when she feels ready for a relationship with you, trust that she’ll come up to you.

>> 5 Solid Ways to Make a Good First Impression (That Girls Love).

Reason #3: She had a bad relationship with her ex

Perhaps your chosen one doesn’t want to have a relationship with you because her ex scared her off by the concept of a relationship. So, that she is not ready for a new relationship yet.


By him…

  • Treating her like dirt – he might hit her, for example
  • Cheating on her (possibly even several times)
  • Being extremely jealous – he might restrict her freedom so much that she was not even allowed to go out and party with her friends
  • Never giving her anything back
  • Being terrible in bed

Something seemed to go wrong.

So wrong that she’s fed up with relationships.

Because he was so crude, she doesn’t want to make the same mistake again.

So, what can you do?

Find out what her ex did wrong and be better.

I know this sounds a bit platitudinous.

At the end of the day, you can clearly distinguish yourself from her ex, who, by the way, probably didn’t know this blog.😉

Let me give you some examples:

  • Her ex totally restricted her so that she wasn’t even allowed to go out with her girls? Then let her have her way.
  • Her ex was so indifferent to her (didn’t care about what she was doing) that she didn’t feel loved? Then show her your love by taking care of her.

>> 9 Positive Ways to Make a Girl Jealous and Realize You’re the One.

Reason #4: She suffers from fear of commitment

“I’m not ready for a relationship yet… I’m sorry.”

Perhaps the following surprises and shocks you at the same time:

Women often use this statement as an excuse.

They don’t want to hurt you and see you as an unsuitable partner.

How can you tell if she really suffers from fear of commitment?

By answering the following questions:

  • Has she had problems with relationships in the past?
  • Is she afraid to get involved with a long-term partner?
  • Has she experienced any traumas that she can’t get rid of (such as abuse or quarreling parents who preceded her as negative examples)?

Reason #5: She’s afraid of you changing in the relationship

‘At the beginning of our relationship, they all were amazing,’ your lady may recall as she thinks back to her ex-boyfriends.

  • ‘They knew exactly how to turn me on.’
  • ‘They dressed up for me.’
  • ‘They brought a lot of variety into our relationship to keep it fresh and alive.’

‘But as time passed, all these things were a thing of the past. Even our sex life was running out of steam.’

When your girl has had similar experiences, she fears one thing:

That you’re going to act or become like her ex-boyfriends.

She’s afraid that you will stop seducing her as soon as you take her for granted.

Perhaps her fear is not only present because she had ex-boyfriends who disappointed her.


Her parents may also be to blame for this.


By setting bad examples for her.

  • They argue every day
  • Often avoid each other
  • Haven’t loved each other for a long time
  • ‘Fun’ hasn’t been part of their marital vocabulary for decades now

Especially if her parents have been behaving this way for decades, her definition of relationship may have changed.

What can you do about it?

Make her feel like it’s never going to happen with you.

By the way, you can find out how you can do this in this article:

-> 10 Tips to Have More Ups + Less Downs in Your Relationship

Adios, ‘I don’t want a relationship.’

Now you know the top 5 reasons why she doesn’t want to have a relationship with you.

I already told you that you could increase your chances of a happy relationship immensely by not putting too much pressure on her.

But patience alone will only achieve this:


Proactivity is essential.

Even lottery millionaires, who had their money literally thrown at them, had to buy a ticket and fill it out.

To enter a fulfilling relationship with any hot señorita, you must therefore PROACTIVELY seduce her.

But this wouldn’t be an AttractionGym blog post if I didn’t show you how to do that step-by-step.


My free Transformation Kit.

Have fun becoming the man she can’t get enough of anymore.

Your mysteriously-vanishing bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

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