In case you didn’t know:
Success depends, to a large extent, on how strong your social skills are.
Don’t you have any? Then you can forget about the most delicious fruits in life:
- No network of outstanding friends who are on your wavelength
- No relationships with spicy señoritas
- No promotions in your profession
These bonuses are due to all men who are socially more forearmed than you.
Don’t you believe me?
Then look at the most popular men around you.
Do they have a large circle of friends with amigos who want the best for them, a job where they blossom and often date women who are beautiful and smart?
In this article, you will learn:
- 5 Signs social phobia might be lurking within you + how to grab it by the balls and stop it
- Easy to follow steps to get rid of your inhibition, even if you’re shy or less strong socially
- How strong your social inhibitions really are (fun fact)
- How you can expel your phobia faster than demons during an exorcism (amazing comparison, Dan…).
- More tips how to overcome your social phobia…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
This won’t only be a social phobia test or a compilation of symptoms.
I will give you 5 tips that will give you a kickstart on your way of becoming a social superstar.
Do you doubt it?
Sorry, not sorry.
As long as you’re on this page, I won’t allow you to doubt your potential.
There you go.
Under this premise, I will allow you to soak up the following lines of this magnificent article like a sponge.
Symptom #1: You describe yourself as socially incompetent
If you think of yourself as a socially awkward chimp…
… your self-awareness manifests itself.
You give yourself the perfect excuse for not doing your best. After all, you just seem to be ‘born shy.’
‘Some have charisma, some don’t.’
But you’re not getting off that easy, homey.
The reason for this can often be buried in your childhood or puberty.
Because maybe you grew up in an environment where you even have been punished for being expressive and loud.
(Ironically, this is exactly what happens in countless schools: If you fooled around with your seatmate, what happened? Right. You were taken apart in a strict tone or maybe even banished outside for 5 minutes.)
As a result, this has become anchored in your subconscious, with the lesson that you should NEVER allow yourself to be expressive/ or charismatic.
And even if you are logically aware by now that you have free will to behave the way you want to behave for the hell of it…
…you may still find it difficult to ignite your charisma.
But you don’t have to worry again.
Charisma is a skill.
If you feel uncomfortable in the company of strangers, it is not due to a mutation error, which has crept into your DNA, but rather because your social skills haven’t been sufficiently encouraged.
So, they just got a little rusty.
And what is the gigantic advantage of skills?
+++ BREAKING NEWS +++
You can train them.
I have had the privilege of coaching men with autism, (sometimes even severe) physical handicaps, 40+-year-old virgins, claustrophobic men – damn, some with bee and wasp phobia successfully.
If these men can manage to hone their social skills and seduce beautiful women, there is NO SINGLE reason why you can’t learn it.
And exactly for this reason, I will give you the following easily applicable tips to boost your social skills.
It should be obvious, though, that…
… the more practice you get, the more you will learn, and the more success you will experience.
And before your brain bombards you (again) with self-doubts à la:
Tell it to shut the f*ck up.
You are neither a boring person nor a uptight person by nature. That’s just a story your brain tells you.
Symptom #2: ‘A- am I g-g-good enough??!’
If that thought is a constant companion in your daily life…
… it’s far from unlikely that you’re one of those men who avoid social situations.
But perhaps this self-doubt isn’t so familiar to you.
Instead, maybe this:
As soon as you are surrounded by strangers or many people you don’t know. Or perhaps even if you want to approach a woman, an insurmountable blockade overcomes your mortal body.
It may express itself in the sense that you feel you must ‘perform greatly.’
It’s like you either have to say something bloody impressive or funny, or better yet, leave it just right away.
You stand there petrified as if Medusa’s gaze had caught you over, and you don’t get a single word out of your lips.
If you allow yourself to be dominated by inhibitions, it’s no wonder that as soon as you are thrown into a social scenario, you remain silent and vegetate in front of you.
You’re not doing yourself any favors.
And you know it.
If you are socially inhibited/ recognize a lot symptoms of social phobia in this article, you need MORE practice, NOT LESS.
Each social scenario is another chance to train your social skills.
Yes, you know that, too, at the latest since my previous tip.
But as with any rusty or untrained ability, you can’t expect every interaction you get yourself into to go smooth like butter.
I mean, you probably didn’t expect to lift 200 kilos on the weight bench during your first session when you went to the gym.
So, what are you going to do?
Well, here’s the thing.
You take simple mini-steps and ‘dare yourself’ to interact more.
If you find yourself in a group of strangers/people relatively unknown to you, then be the first to say ‘Hi!’.
I wish the cashier a nice day with your next purchase.
Give the next woman you see walking down the street a sincere compliment, make her day, and then say goodbye.
Ask your coworkers, with whom you usually rarely speak, how their weekend was, and listen to them interested.
The principle is simple:
Build it up slowly, so you don’t strain your nerves.
As soon as you notice that something is easier for you, take the next mini step.
If you have been able to get yourself a ‘hi’ in a foreign group and you find it easy to do so, introduce yourself shamelessly to them.
Ask the cashier if her day has been stressful so far.
Introduce yourself to a woman after you compliment her.
Tell your coworkers passionately about your ‘weekend activities.’
(If you want to get more inspirations on what to talk about make sure to check out this article I’ve written for you:
Step by step.
You would dance naked on the beach if you knew what you could achieve in a few months through these little things.
Your confidence might reach a level you never thought was possible.
Especially if you take action smartly using the right tips.
So, don’t be afraid, NO MATTER how intimidating it can feel for you at first.
Symptom #3: You’re acting like a blade of grass
If people around you barely notice you, it’s probably because you are walking through the world unobtrusively.
It’s possible that…
- You wear washed-out clothes that don’t fit your figure
- You don’t attach much importance to a regular barber visit
- You only groom yourself when you need to
- Your body posture resembles the hunchback of notre dame
- You often speak so quietly that others have to ask you three times what you just said
- You avoid eye contact as often as possible
If you recognize yourself in any of these points, chances are you’re afraid of being the center of attention.
Do you always have to put yourself in the center of attention in order to become more successful in life?
But do you have to be able to handle being in the center of attention when it’s necessary?
If you thought it was a brilliant idea to hide by wearing a bland outfit, having disheveled hair and poor personal hygiene, then you’re more naive than I thought.
I mean, why the hell shouldn’t you be allowed to show the real you?
Yes, maybe you have difficulties with inferiority complex and neither allow your mind nor your body to feel great.
But think about it, would you really want to be friends with someone who thinks SO LESS of himself that he even huddles together in his body language and avoids any eye contact?
If you are honest with yourself, you want a lively, courageous malaka as a buddy who isn’t ashamed of himself and treats himself as such.
So why don’t you do it for you?
There’s NO f*cking reason to let yourself go.
If style, body language, and eye contact are still gigantic challenges for you, then let me help you in these three steps:
- Learn how to present yourself as a boss WITHOUT having to disguise your inner self
- Discover how you can make a James bond-ish posture a natural habit
- Learn how to seduce women with pleasing eye contact, creating strong sexual tension and getting men to respect you
You got this, player!
Symptom #4: You’re head over heels in love with Miss Vaseline
What I noticed with all men who are socially inhibited or suffer from social anxiety is this:
They have learned how to entertain themselves daily. They often have hobbies that isolate them:
- Instead of signing up for a martial arts club or gym, they play 24/7 on their console or slaughter Orcs on online role-playing games.
- Instead of going out with friends on a weekend evening, it’s Star Wars on Netflix for the fifth time.
- Instead of chatting with their work or study colleagues during their breaks, they crawl into their own office / the library or some other godforsaken place.
- Instead of going for a walk in the city or a park, they prefer a triple date with a vat of Vaseline, a pack of tissues, and their stronger hand.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s certainly nothing wrong with spending some time alone now and then and to play some games or have a nice Netflix evening.
However, if you have strong barriers to mingle with people or to approach beauties, then all these things are THE LAST things you need.
Maybe now you’re thinking:
Then stick with it.
But don’t complain if NOTHING changes in your life… EVER…
However, the chances are that you aren’t as introverted as you might think.
I’m not saying that you should give up all your hobbies (which isolate you), but if you really want to become more social, it’s essential to spend some time on honing that skill.
And between you and me: A regular visit to the gym or a (martial arts) sports club can never hurt.
Through this, you not only get to know new people but also keep your body in shape – win-win.
Make yourself a man of action. And DO something.
You often have difficulties telling people about yourself because your life is ‘just boring’?
Then put the controller aside and explore the world.
For example, travel with friends, learn new instruments, take a cooking course.
Pour more spice into your life and revive yourself.
If you want to have a more structured guide on how to improve your life, check out this article I’ve written for you:
You have slept long enough (at least if you recognize yourself in this point)!
Symptom #5: You’re afraid of this…
Watch it closely.
- Are beads of sweat dripping from your forehead?
- Are your hands getting all shaky?
- Can you feel your heart rate climbing to 180?
Then the diagnosis for Professor doctor Dan is clear:
You suffer from fear of rejection.
Yeah, maybe you really want to approach this gorgeous woman.
And yes, maybe you want to engage in social interaction, but goddamn it, you don’t want to be named and shamed.
If only you had a guarantee that everything, without exception, would always ‘work’ smoothly…
But this wish speaks against every single natural law of our planet.
You’re not supposed to have an incomparable connection with every woman.
Not only because it would mean that the world would very soon be overpopulated if everyone matches perfectly with each other.
But also, because it would involve bending over for EVERY new encounter to make a match.
Because obviously, every person has his own values, preferences, and dislikes.
And in the end, you want to meet women who value you for your authentic self and vice versa.
As soon as you are aware of this, you will realize that you don’t need to be afraid of women or rejection.
Maybe this will click for you now.
But nevertheless, I can’t deny that you won’t get very far with a ‘positive mantra’ alone.
After all, you also need to know HOW you approach women in the first place.
And before you find yourself hyperventilating in panic, let me tell you something.
How to transform yourself into a social superstar
If you are tired of being a slave to shyness, social phobia and social inhibitions, I have something for you
I’ve conjured a Kit for you with some of our most effective flirting advice, which you can put into practice as light as a feather.
See you on the other side!
Dan de Ram