Still a Virgin? 10 Tips on How to Have Sex for The First Time

still a virgin

It’s Friday night and you’re in a bar with your friends.

After a few hours, the conversation turns to sex (as usual when men gather in a bar).

While your friends proudly share their last sex stories, you stay quiet.

What stories could you possibly share? After all, you’re still a virgin.

Now, it’s time you do something about that.

In this article you get:

  • 10 Tips to lose your virginity in no time
  • What you should do when a woman asks if you’re a virgin
  • How to make sex for the first time good and easy
  • What the American Pie trap is and how to avoid it
  • And much more helpful tips when you’re still a virgin…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

“Help! I’m still a virgin… what should I do?!”

Alright, let’s get started.

If you’re still a virgin, you might have read on mainstream dating websites advice things like:

  • “It’s okay to be a virgin.”
  • “It’ll come naturally!”


Let’s be honest with each other:

Being a virgin sucks.

You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it.

Back in the day, I was a virgin too. And I know how frustrating and lonely it feels.

Now, do you want to lose your virginity as soon as possible?

I’m going to help you do this today with the next 10 tips.

Whether you’re still a virgin at 20, 25, 30, maybe even 40 years old…

This article will help you have (good) sex for the first time in no time.

But, dear bro, I do want to point out one important thing:

Reading this article is not enough. It’s just the first step.

Of course, it’d be great if a naked girl suddenly appeared in your room after the end of this article. But we both know it doesn’t work this way.

You will need to actually apply the tips.

So pay close attention to this article and then apply the tips right from today.

Your time on this planet as a virgin will soon be over.

Let’s get to work with the first tip.

Tip #1: FTCZ

“FTCZ? What exactly is that, Dan?”

FTCZ is an abbreviation tattooed on my forearm.

No, it’s not my favorite football club.

The abbreviation stands for: Fuck The Comfort Zone.

Hear me out, man:

The comfort zone is killing you.

When I was still a virgin, I stayed in my comfort zone all the time.

  • I was spending way too much time in front of my computer and TV.
  • I was hardly ever going out.
  • I didn’t do any sports.
  • I didn’t have many friends and I didn’t meet any new people.
  • And of course, I didn’t meet any women.

Are you the same?

In that case, let me tell you one thing:

If you keep having this lifestyle, you’re going to stay a virgin.

It wasn’t until I left my comfort zone that I took the first steps to have sex.

Stop spending your weekends at home by yourself.

It’s time to give a boost to your life and step out of your comfort zone.

Here’s how you do that:

  • Improve your life (get a job you really like, look for hobbies you have a passion for)
  • Go to the gym
  • Take care of yourself: think about your hygiene and make sure you dress properly.
  • Meet other people
  • Learn to become social

Small side note:

If you’re the social type, no worries:

Being social is skill you can learn.

Of course, you’ll need to work for it. But once you acquire this skill, it’ll stay with you forever.

Here’s the first step you should take to be more social with girls:

>> 23 Easy Ways to Be More Social with Women as an Introvert

Tip #2: Start meeting a lot of women now

Let me tell you a story about two guys: Daniel and Michael. They’re both still virgins.

Daniel still lives with his parents. He doesn’t go out much and spends most of his free time behind his computer.

Michael’s different. Michael has a nice job and recently got a place of his own in the city. He spends his free time working out, reading books and going out to bars.

Who’s going to lose his virginity first?

100% obvious: Michael.

Look, man. It’s very simple:

The more women you meet, the more likely you are to have sex.”

That’s why it’s so important that you get off that couch and go out to meet some girls.

Now, I know that this is often easier said than done.

Taking the initiative yourself to flirt with unknown women is something you might find very difficult.

I totally get it.

But here comes the good news: meeting women is much easier than you think… if you know where to go.

I wrote a full article about the best spots to meet beautiful girls. Read it here:

>> 15 Hotspots to Meet Women Near You that Are 100% Your Type

Tip #3: Don’t fall into American Pie trap

I’m sure you watched the movie American Pie.

(If you didn’t, do you live under a rock or something?)

For those who missed this hilarious ’99 comedy:

The movie is about a bunch of guys in their last year of high school.

They all have one goal: To lose their virginity before the exams.

Now, I love this movie. But there’s also a downside to it:

The American Pie trap.

“Dan, what exactly is the American Pie trap?”

Glad you asked.

The American Pie trap is believing that losing your virginity is a race that you must win as quickly as possible.

There are several downsides to this mindset:

  • You’re going to compare yourself to others who have already lost their virginity. This only increases your insecurity.
  • You might go to bed with a woman you’re not even attracted to.
  • You put unnecessary pressure on yourself, which makes you needy (more about this later).

Of course, I understand that you want to get rid of your virginity. But don’t think of it as a race.

It’s great that you’re taking action to lose your virginity.


Don’t get obsessed with your goal.

It’s counterproductive and increases your stress.

Work towards your goal of losing your virginity but always make sure you do this with fun and lightheartedness.

The more pressure you put on yourself, the harder it will be to have sex for the first time.

Tip #4: When to tell or not to tell

If you’re still a virgin, I’m sure there’s always a question haunting your mind:

“Should I tell girls I’m still a virgin?”

I’m going to very direct now:

No, you shouldn’t.

“But Dan, in romantic movies men are always so honest about everything with women!” – The Bitchboy.

Don’t get me wrong: Honesty is very important.

But when it comes to your virginity, it’s better to hide the truth.

Yep. That’s the hard truth.


Let’s say you meet a girl and you end up in bed with her.

If you tell her you’re still a virgin, you’re going to put unnecessary pressure on her.

She’ll think:

“Wow, he’s never had sex. What about if his first time isn’t what he thought it would be? Everything has to go perfectly…”

So how do you deal with this?

For example, let’s suppose you’ve met a girl recently.

You go on a third date with her, and she suddenly asks you about your sex stories.

What do you do?

What you certainly don’t do is act like someone who has no idea of what he’s talking about.

But you don’t want to lie either.

Instead, use humor to release tension.

Say things like:

“Sex with me is going to be the best 15 seconds you’ve ever had.”

“I usually starfish in bed. I don’t do much unless you’re really good.”

“Sorry I’d rather not talk about sex… I don’t want to cum yet.”

Humor and sarcasm will help you stay relaxed when a girl brings up sex in a conversation.

Of course, the girl might ask you so many questions and eventually find out you’re a virgin.

If this happens: Don’t feel ashamed of yourself. Don’t justify yourself. Don’t try to convince her that you’re cool even though you’re a virgin.

Just say this:

“Yep, I never had sex. I haven’t found a girl yet I want to do it with for the first time.”

Tip #5: Virgin at 20, 25, 30, even 40 years old? Read this tip

Do you have friends you’ve known for a long time but only see once in a while?

I have a friend like that. I’ve known him for 10 years but because we live in different countries, we see each other every couple of years.

Last time I saw him, I noticed there was one thing we never talked about: Sex.

So I asked myself:

Is this guy still a virgin?”

One day we were having a drink and I decided to bring up sex in the conversation.

I noticed he became super uncomfortable.

When I asked him if he was dating anyone, he answered:

“Ehhh, well, it’s a bit personal, you know…”

Then we kept talking for hours, and he finally admitted it:

“Yeah, I’ve never had sex…”

The thing is, people with little or no sexual experience often make a big deal out of sex.

Don’t be embarrassed about sex, man.

Talking about sex should be as normal as talking about the weather.

Give yourself permission to be a sexual person.

For example:

  • Make jokes about sex (see previous tip)
  • Think of sex as something normal (after all, without sex there would be no life)
  • Reduce the physical space between you and women
  • Flirt with girls

Those last two points are so important that the following two tips are dedicated to them.

Tip #6: How to get better at flirting

Here’s a question for you:

Which of these two conversations is more likely to result in sex?

A: A very boring conversation about her work, hobbies or study.


B: A flirty conversation about her most exciting experiences (travels, sexual experiences, relationships)

You got it: B, of course.

A lot of men don’t dare to have deep conversations with women. They don’t want to ruin their chances, so they choose the ‘safe’ option.

But do you know what’s ironic?

It’s precisely choosing the safe option that is going to ruin your chances.

If you have a date with a girl, and the conversation is boring, you won’t be able to connect with her.

No connection = no emotions = no sex.

Pro tip:

If you want to increase your chances of losing your virginity, you should get a deeper understanding of how to make a connection with a girl.

It’s such a broad topic that I had to write a full article about it.

Check it out here:

>> How To Make A Connection: 7 Tips To Easily Connect With Girls

So if you want to get laid, be flirtatious.

How? Here are some examples:

  • Make eye contact while talking to her
  • Talk and move slower
  • Do not agree on everything she says
  • Tease her

So, remember: Don’t play it safe. Dare to ask personal questions. Questions that she doesn’t hear everyday.

Research has shown that asking more personal questions on a date results in a closer relationship between two people.

And besides, it increases your chances to lose your virginity!

More on that in the next tip.

Tip #7: Never had sex: What should you do

Most men who want to get better at flirting are obsessed with that question:

“What should I say during a date?”

I get it. Flirting is a social process. You want to be able to spark amazing conversations with the woman you have a crush on.

But the thing is, what you say doesn’t matter that much.

You can learn every single flirty lines out there. It’s not going to help you get laid.

 “Wow, what a great line! I’m going to sleep with this guy right now!”
– No woman ever.

There’s something else that’s far more important than words or sentences…


Let me explain:

During sex, people touch each other, right?

Well, people touch each other before sex too.

A lot of men treat women like museum objects they should never touch before sex.

But if you don’t touch her, you won’t kiss her, let alone have sex with her.

Now I know that “touching women” in 2020 is a sensitive subject (#metoo, someone?)

That’s why you must be able to distinguish between good touches and creepy touches.

Creepy touches are inappropriate and feel out of touch (pun intended ;))

Good touches feel natural. They’re built up slowly and always go a step further.

For example:

  • Give her a high five
  • Give her a short hug
  • Put your hand on her shoulder
  • Grab her hand
  • Put her hands on your shoulder
  • Kiss her

Now, I’m not saying this is a step-by-step plan you always have to follow.

But this gives you an idea of how you can slowly get physical with women.

And don’t forget to always watch for her reaction. When you touch her, does she take a step back?

No worries. Take a small step back yourself and don’t touch her again until later.

Does she seem to enjoy your touch and even touches you back? Then try to go a little further.

Now, let’s say you meet a girl, slowly get physical and then kiss her.

What now?

It’s time to increase the sexual tension.

How do you do that?

Here are some examples:

  • Kiss her on the neck.
  • Gently bite her neck, ear or lips.
  • Smell her hair.
  • Gently pull her hair.
  • Grab her firmly and press her against you.

Note: Always watch for her reaction when you do that.

And don’t forget that if a woman touches you, it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to go to bed with you.

So how do you distinguish flirt from friendly when a girl touches you?

Here’s a full article about this:

>> 9 Tips to Distinguish Flirt from Friendly When a Girl Touches You

Tip #8: How to make sex for the first time good

I hate to break it to you, but here’s a hard truth:

Your first time will probably suck.

People have all kinds of fantasies about how “perfect” should be their first time (especially women).

It’s understandable. Losing your virginity is exciting. And you’ve heard about it so many times (through friends or romantic movies) that you want it to be the time of your life.

But having sex for the first time is usually not the intense, passionate lovemaking everyone talks about.

In fact, it often sucks. You might cum in 3 seconds, or not be able to have a boner (like I did at the time.)

Of course, maybe none of that will happen and you’ll have a great time.

But just in case, here’s a golden rule to reduce the pressure on yourself:

Don’t expect anything from your first time.

If it’s good, that’s great.

If not, f*ck it, try again!

Experience is the best teacher. The more sex you have, the better you’ll eventually get at it.

[quote] “Alright Dan, but what about condoms? I’ve never used any…”

Good question!

First, know that there is absolutely no shame to practice putting a condom on by yourself.

When you do have sex, you also can ask the girl to put it on for you (this is common.)

Now that we got that out of the way, you might need some tips on what do girls want in bed.

First rule: Take your time.

I know you’re horny. I know you want to have a sex as soon as possible.

But, the thing is, women get excited in a slightly different way than men.

In short: They need some buildup.

Now, that’s a broad topic, man.

I had to write a full article about it, and I highly recommend you check it out:

>> What Women Want in Bed: 10 Ways to Be Her Sex God

Tip #9: Always go for gold

A few years ago I got a summer job as a tour guide in Blanes, a touristic destination in Spain.

It’s a place where a lot of teenagers go on their first holiday without their parents.

During a tour, I met this young guy who was still a virgin and hoped to have sex during the holidays.

He made me think of me back in the day: young, virgin, and bad with girls.

We hung out a few times, then one night, he met a cute girl in a nightclub.

I still remember how they walked hand in hand back to the campsite where he took her to his tent.

The next day I asked him how it had gone…

This was his answer:

“We didn’t have sex, man… I didn’t have any condoms. I didn’t think it could lead to this.”

This is exactly why a lot of guys never get laid:

They don’t go for gold.

Especially when you’re a little older and you’ve never had sex before, sex seems almost impossible.

At some point, you might even give up hope. You might no longer expect it to happen anytime soon.

Hear me out, man:

Have faith in yourself and keep taking action.

As a dating coach, I believe that almost every virgin can finally have sex if you work for it.

Keep working on yourself to become an attractive guy and meet new women.

How to become an attractive guy

If you want to take things to the next level, you should start working on your flirting skills right from today.

The better you get with women, the sooner you’ll lose your virginity.

To help you do that, I’ve got something really cool for you.

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It teaches you how to become an attractive guy and how to meet more women so you can lose your virginity as soon as possible.

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You can find it all in my Transformation Kit. Download it here, it’s free!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

Yes, give me the Transformation Kit!

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