“Let’s take things slow”
This is quite possibly even more frustrating to hear than:
“It was nice to meet you…” after a pretty girl in the club subtly rejects you.
‘Taking things slow,’ is something you only hear from women you really like.
Women who are relationship material.
Why she says this, what the problem is and how to fix it so you can move things along with her… I’ll explain all of that in this article.
In this article you’ll get:
- 7 tips to turn “Taking things slow” into “let’s go for it!”
- How to take a relationship slow, but still steady that you end up lovingly together
- Which extremely powerfully emotions to use to make sure you never have to hear ‘slow down’ again.
- How sitcoms are useful to you to take her “take it easy” excuse and turn it around.
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: Signs she wants to take it slow in various situations
She’ll never say she wants to take it slow and see what happens without a reason.
Whether that be in your relationship, while you’re in the middle of dating, or you’re just swinging to tunes in the club…
…she’s wants to take things slow because there’s something bothering her.
What is it? She actually doesn’t know really. You probably can’t smell it either.
It’s like you know something is burning because of the smell. But can’t find figure out where the fire is.
This is what we’re going to change with the tips in this article. Afterward you’ll be able to sniff out any issue and fix it faster than girls can change their mood.
Let me tell you:
A lot of times you have to take the situation at hand into consideration to figure out why she wants to take it slow.
One simple example is when you’re in the club. Dancing and flirting with a lady, you go a little too fast with your affection. You might become a little too overwhelming for her and she wants you taking things slow.
There are also trickier situations. Often times for you it’s like she’s talking in Korean, because you don’t know what the hell she’s talking about.
She doesn’t have a single clue what all the Korean words coming out of her mouth mean either. She doesn’t know what the reasoning is behind why she wants to take it slow.
There’s just something wrong.
The mistake a lot of men make now… is the most logical option:
You hear her out.
Not bad. And of course, you want to know exactly what the problem is so that you can fix it as quickly as possible.
But by doing so you risk messing up everything.
You lose not one, but two points on the attraction scale.
- One point, because something is wrong. But with just losing one point not all hope is lost.
- And the second point because now she feels like you don’t understand. Now the situation is becoming critical (science confirms.)
Once you’ve scored two minus points, the third one isn’t far off.
It goes from bad to worse and before you know it… things escalate.
I just said briefly that in general, there are three moments wherein she uses these vague but harrowing words.
Below we’re doing a deep-dive in each situation. I’ll give you pointers what the problem could be and how to fix them.
This will turn “let’s take things slow” into…
Here’s the first moment. Maybe you’ve heard it while talking with a lady in a bar.
“Slow down I just wanna get to know you still”
You’ll learn how to deal with these statements while out clubbing.
When men spot a woman it’s either a yes or a no.
Deal or no deal.
They take a good look at the woman from head to toe, take a gander on what her personality is like and within a few seconds end up with a crystal-clear conclusion.
It’s obvious for them, she’s attractive so they want her. The official business like going on a date and getting to know each other come later.
In short, the full throttle mentality.
For a woman, it works differently.
To her, the “official side issues” are often top priority. She wants to get to know you first, maybe go on a date and then to top it off, enjoy the icing on the cake.
When you hear a woman on the dance floor say that she wants to take it slow and see what happens, you often went a little too fast. You’ve become a little too attached too fast, showed too early that she is ‘the one’, or came across uncalibrated in your flirtations.
There’s no need to immediately see it as a rejection. Just take a step back, stay with her and make your advances again later.
Quite easy, no?
But what about this happens when you’ve been dating a girl for a while? That’s up next.
Taking things slow during the dating phase
The previous reason is easy to solve.
However, if she says this to you in the dating phase, it’s a whole different ball game
Just like a nuclear reaction, the possible causes are squared tenfold.
Women are sometimes quite complex, but fortunately, you don’t have to be a nuclear physicist to understand them.
I’ve brought the various causes back to four general ones:
- You’ve put your feelings on the table too quickly. She is still trying to get to know you, while you’ve already envisioned you two ending up in a relationship.
- You are too greedy and eager towards her, you send too many texts or just want to meet up with her too often, for example.
- She has doubts about one or more of your qualities, whether you are nice enough or not.
- It’s a sweet way to say she doesn’t like you enough.
Check for yourself.
Are you guilty of one of these four points?
Do you immediately pour your emotions onto her lap? Can’t you let her go? Is there a quality that she might find unattractive? Or is it better to look for your next lady?
If so, try to fix them as soon as possible. During the dating phase, it is very easy for a woman to say goodbye to you and run off with the next man.
Still stuck about when she wants to take it slow? Then scroll on through the other tips.
Then we’ll solve them together.
Because first, we’ll look at what the words ‘taking things slow’ mean when you’re already in a relationship with her.
Oh yes, even while IN a relationship you can go too fast.
What is considered moving too fast in a relationship?
The reason she says she wants to “take it slow” is much more nuanced during a relationship.
However, if you peel back the layers of the onion, you will find a few causes that are easy to fix.
We’re talking about
- She’s missing space in the relationship
- The relationship is becoming boring
- She’s noticing a change in you
- It’s a sweet way to say that it’s time to break off the relationship
So think about it, do you give her enough space? Is the spark missing? Have you changed and she doesn’t recognize you anymore? Or does she really mean that it’s over?
One thing that’s crystal-clear…
There’s a reason she says she wants to take it easy is with you.
Now you can think:
And take it negatively.
But If I were you, I would look at it positively.
She’s politely letting you know that something is not right with her …
… AND you can do something about it too.
She’s actually telling you how to take the relationship slow and steady.
It’s all up to you.
This is why I have 7 more tips for you to sweep up the causes as quickly as possible.
Tip #2: Take 2 steps forward, 1 step back
This is important if you’re someone who is really going hard for women.
Research shows that some women love it, others prefer a little personal space.
At least I’ll give you props … there aren’t many men who take it by the horns like you do, flirting with her in a dominant and totally masculine way.
Despite the fact that some women don’t want it, they do have respect for how you approach it.
In this context, when she wants to take things slow she’s giving you an extra chance.
As you now know, it comes down to you to take a step back.
However, two things often go wrong.
Firstly, men think this is a challenge and plow through even harder
Often these men have read too many books about game. And see everything as a challenge to show their manliness, instead of a true boundary a woman can have.
The second mistake men make is that when they notice the signs she wants to take it slow, they feel rejected.
They don’t see it as a good sign and simply take a step back. No, they hit the brakes hard.
They immediately flop like cooked spaghetti.
Both of the above reactions are completely unnecessary.
All she’s saying is that you went too fast for her in that moment. Therefore, keep the following rhythm. Both in your own dance moves, and in your moves towards her.
2 steps forward, 1 step back.
This way you make it completely clear what you are going to do, but you also let her know you respect her for taking things slow.
Tip #3: How to take a relationship slowly
Apply this tip, and she will run into your arms to start a relationship.
Taking things slow is something from the past.
Maybe now you’re expecting some magic words.
The phrase you can say to her to make her your girlfriend in one swoop.
You won’t get that from me. Because there isn’t one.
Have you ever been to a company outing or other group activity?
Often times activities are planned for you.
Like real-life foosball, duo-bow shooting, or any other crazy version of a normal sport that was invented by someone who just took shrooms.
Super nice though.
But do you want to kick things off and perhaps fail in front of the other participants? Or do you first see how others make it so that you can learn from their mistakes?
Chances are I could guess your answer if I was sitting next to you in your chair reading this article.
You’d probably let someone else go first.
You want to do exactly the same when it comes to getting into a relationship with a woman you like.
By the way, check out the following article.
In it I’m giving you everything you need to know about how falling in love is like having your brain played like a marionette and I’ll give you sharp scissors to cut the strings.
So you can stay in control. And when needed take things slow.
You always want HER to take the first step towards relationship status.
- She will introduce you to her friends first
- She is the first to invite you to her parents
- She’s the first to say “I love you”
Now sometimes she will do this verbally but more often than not, you will have to pay attention to her behavior. Think about it. It’s a pretty scary thing for her to say ‘I love you’ to you for the first time. Especially if she’s not 100% sure you feel the same way… she might think she’ll freak you out.
So sometimes you have to hint her yourself in the direction you want it to go.
Women are generally followers.
So when you are the first person to start talking about the fact that you should start a relationship, it might come across as oppressive to her.
Women often dare not make it clear that she wants to take things slowly.
In addition, going fast shows uncertainty.
Men have often the thought:
Do you understand now, when you read the above sentence, that it seems very insecure to a woman?
As a man, you want to assume women melt for you. You’re the shit anyway, right?
What you want to continue to do is to be attractive to her, make clear in your intentions that you really like her, and always surprise her during your dating phase.
Good question. Here’s an article about this:
In no-time you’ll be discussing starting a relationship.
Tip #4: Sign she wants to take it slow
Cornering a tiger can have deadly consequences.
Cornering your girlfriend, in the same way, can cost you your relationship.
Here’s one question I receive in my mailbox often:
I realize that my girlfriend is taking some more distance from me. Now I’m trying to be there for her by working an extra day at home, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect.
What am I doing wrong?
Funny how us men sometimes think.
We chase someone who is trying to run away.
Maybe it’s because we used to be excellent hunters. Hunters who chase their prey until death. So we can enjoy a nice, festive meal in the evening.
The reason she takes more distance from you, is because she wants more space. If you chase her now, this will have the opposite effect.
You can almost say that if you hunt her now, the prey, in this case your relationship, will die.
In this case, you want to do two things:
- Give her more space
- Shift your own focus
The first point is clear. But this often goes hand in hand with missing your girlfriend more and more. If you cannot resist this feeling, you will still reach out to her.
Byyeeee extra space.
So you also have to make sure you have your own distraction.
You have to fill in the extra space you’re giving her with something to do for yourself.
Go try something new… A sport, take a course, hang out with your buddies, go on vacation without her for a week…
You name it.
As long as you ensure that you both have me-time.
Here’s a funny example of one of our ex-weekend flirting course participants:
He had a girlfriend, but his relationship was on autopilot. The relationship slowly entered into the dusty abyss.
Then he went on vacation for a while and they only had sporadic contact via text messages.
He came back and it looked like two stars merged after a long space journey.
Their relationship was revived.
Because after such a long time they started to miss each other.
The more you miss each other, the greater the reconciliation when you see each other again.
Powerful stuff, alone time.
Tip #5: Turn the tables around so she wants to take things fast
You can put the previous tip in overdrive, this way you can turn the whole game around.
She is going to chase YOU.
While you can just hang on your couch.
Figuratively then 😉
When she wants taking things slow, it can also mean that the relationship is starting to get boring.
Do you know that old sitcom? Married with Children?
If not, check out the video below to refresh your memory. In addition, there are a number of great lines that you can use in the club tonight.
Boring old dad ‘Al Bundy’ who always enjoys watching football on the couch or teases women at work while his wife asks for attention.
So his wife is clearly after HIM.
He does this in an excellent way.
Let me tell you how …
By the way, also read the special article on how to become attractive to women, with many more simple tips.
You flirted your way into a relationship a while ago and you made her fall in love.
You may have applied one of our principles. Even better.
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can retire your flirty behavior from back then.
There is always work to be done. Also in your relationship.
A relationship is not something fixed, it’s dynamic. More on this later.
You want to keep flirting with her within your relationship.
Tips on flirting, you say? You got it:
Always keep challenging her and showing that she should continue to make an effort for YOU.
Make her a little jealous by showing that you have contact with other women in addition to her. And by contact, I mean normal contact. No pick-up tricks on them … flirting at most. Keep it respectful!
Healthy jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions, if used correctly in a relationship. It shows you care about each other.
Because if you’re jealous of something, you really want to have it.
So make your girlfriend healthily jealous and she’ll stop taking things slow.
Tip #6: Relationship is a verb
Doubt is always lurking in a relationship, you as a man want to counter this at all costs.
If doubt comes into the relationship. And in this case in your girlfriend then it is difficult to get out.
In other words:
Do you drive a car?
If you come across green at a traffic light, do you also stop to see if you can really drive on?
You probably look to the left and right for a moment, but you just keep the same speed.
You only stop at a red light.
In your relationship, you don’t want to dwell on green lights and ask yourself if she still likes it. You keep going strong, with the things that make her feel good.
Keep taking your girlfriend on original dates, keep surprising her, always make her feel special.
Keep it exciting.
Keep making an effort.
‘Relationship’ is a verb.
Then she’ll continue to like it.
If you make it too exciting for her, she will give you a red light.
Now is the time to hit the brakes.
Tip #7: If all else fails
If all else fails, this is your last escape route.
It is possible that even though you have actually took things slow, there are still relationship issues.
The last solution is to talk about it openly.
But this conversation is not so easy for men.
Men love to fix shit, address issues and get them out of the way.
So that life becomes a little easier every time.
Unfortunately, you nail yourself to the cross with your own tools when you take this approach. Especially when your girlfriend has a problem.
Starting the conversation is often not the problem.
You can do this easily by calmly asking what’s going on …
Now if she starts talking about the issues she’s feeling, don’t jump straight into problem-solving mode.
Open yourself up to her and listen.
Show that you understand her. Seek to understand her.
Are you going to clean up a barbecue while the coals are still smoldering?
I don’t think so. You don’t clean them up until the coals have cooled the next morning.
In other words, you will only actually solve the problem when the energy behind the problem has disappeared.
So, first listen to her emotional problem about the issue. Understand it. And once the emotions are vented, it’s time to take a look at the logical problem underneath and fix it.
Don’t fix emotions with logic. Fix logic with logic and let emotions vent.
Sometimes it’s that she started to feel less and less attracted to you. The relationship rut may have settled in. Perhaps your career took its toll on you.
Anyway, you weren’t being the attractive guy anymore she fell in love with.
The way to solve it is to start work hard on yourself again. And make her long for you again through all the various flirting principles you’ll find on my blog.
Make yourself wildly attractive to her all over again.
A kick under your ass, so she’ll find you wildly attractive again
The easiest way is to check my free Transformation Kit.
It is specially made for you to become the most attractive man in any situation.
You will also receive sample sentences, conversation techniques and principles for online dating.
So that you can hold your own in any situation. And taking things slow can be removed from your dictionary.
From your bro,
Dan de Ram