What do women find attractive in men?
You’re going to get the secrets from the women’s brain, so you’ll know exactly what makes women are attracted to.
Because only then will you know exactly how to seduce and keep a woman.
- 7 Things women find attractive in men, appearance and charateristics
- The TRUTH about what makes a man attractive. No it’s not what you’re thinking now
- How many euros a year women spend on seeing attractive images of men
- My trick to understand and fathom female attraction forever
- My #1 source for understanding women
- What women like about men (+ examples)
- A good excuse to always have something to say to her
- How to develop your attractive qualities as a man fast and simple
- Many more applicable tips…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
The #1 difference between what men and women find attractive
I have a question for you.
Something you probably don’t have to think about for too long.
What do you find attractive about women?
Hmm, let me guess.
- Her sweet face.
- Her small waist.
- Her tight ass, or full breasts?
I probably wasn’t far off with this description.
Curves in particular often appear to hit the ON button for men.
Every year, men spend billions of euro on watching (naked) women.
- Magazine covers
- Baywatch-like series
- Strip clubs
- Erotic films and magazines
- Women in the entertainment sector, such as pit babes, dancers, and models.
This is literally a billion-dollar industry.
Women practically spend NADA to see a naked man.
A feminist will tell you that this is because:
Yet gay men are just as excited about seeing pictures of (naked) men, just like heterosexual men get excited about pictures of women.
These differences between men and women are, therefore, biological, not cultural.
Fortunately, there are similar biological triggers in the female brain. You’ll learn about them in this article…
The trick for eternal insight into a woman’s brain
I’ll spare you the cheesy talk about “Venus and Mars”, but men and women are sometimes opposites.
When it comes to attractive qualities, this is all very true.
Because exactly the things that you find attractive about women, women find attractive about you…
But, then the other way around.
This way, you have a clear compass 100% of the time, that shows you the way on what women find attractive.
There is one major difference:
Us men have the ‘gift’ to decide within 1-3 milliseconds if we want to have sex with her. This gift is in our DNA and is visually determined.
This mindset carries many thinking errors
Many men think:
That is the penile-mindset of the Average Joe, and you’ll be ten times wiser after reading this article.
Later on, I’ll give you the exact nuance where male-female differences become apparent in attraction.
But first, you’ll get a list of 5 things which men find attractive in women.
Why men and women are both correct
Some men think that women only pretend when they are wild with excitement.
Or that such women are as rare as Tasmanian devils, outside of Tasmania.
Ask 100 women what they want in a man, and you’ll hear 100 times “a sweet man.”
Ask 100 men what women like, and you’ll hear 100 times “a rich, buff asshole.”
Somewhere in the middle.
Ready for attractive qualities in a man?
Turnaround Trick: 5 things you can learn about attraction
So what are the things women find attractive in men?
Let’s turn the male-female differences around.
What men find beautiful about a woman is…
Now let’s turn these five things around, and you’ll discover five things what attracts women to men.
And read the disclaimer here:
Obviously, this is a generalization. Because we are talking about men and women in general. You might find dominant, older women with sharp angular shapes very attractive, and you probably also know a girl who likes little fragile, sweet boys, but that is the exception rather than the rule.
In the list above, I listed five things per gender they find attractive.
You can distinguish between 2 categories:
- Properties. Maturity. Tough behavior. Dominance.
- Appearance. Strong body. Angular shapes.
But what is really important?
Research has shown that men value a girl’s appearance highly at a first impression.
And what things do women like?
What you need to know about the ladies is:
Women. Are. Different.
The truth is that women are only stimulated SLIGHTLY by their visual senses.
For example, there are some strip clubs for women, but she will go there as a fun getaway with friends. Not to have a drink on her own.
And hallelujah brother … this is good news for us men.
Come and sit by the campfire, make sure you are comfortable, and let’s bring out some nostalgia.
When you were young, you used to have a guy like that at school. The one guy who wasn’t exactly “attractive” (to put it kindly). But he was just The Man.
Everyone liked him.
Everyone wanted to be around him, and he was the light of every party.
Do you know the type?
Of course, every girl was hanging to his lips.
You thought to yourself: “How is this possible? He really isn’t that handsome! ”
I remember well that I thought so too. I was not exactly a style icon myself, either.
Hey Dan, Schwarzkopf just called.
They want to know how many liters of gel they can store in your hair this year.
At my high school, there was such a womanizer, and his name was Alexander. And he was just as mediocre as I was … and yet every girl wanted him.
Fortunately, I found out his secret:
How average men date exceptionally beautiful women
My adolescent brain didn’t understand what girls find attractive.
But what I overlooked all this time was that he had charisma.
His looks weren’t in this favor… But it wasn’t even necessary because he was pure charisma.
That’s a bigger aphrodisiac than any pretty face.
But what does it mean if you have a “good appearance” or even “charisma”?
Such men are in touch with themselves. There is little FILTER between their feelings and their expression.
This is the translation of what women mean when they give you the oldest dating advice ever:
Women are so sensitive to this.
Obviously, ‘Just be yourself‘ is a vague statement.
How to genuinely be yourself? It’s a topic I covered in this article, check it out:
>> “Just Be Yourself”, THIS is What She Actually Means by That
Anyway, a public service announcement for the guys who always blame everything on their acne, length or non-existent six-pack:
If you think:
- “Pff, I can never get her. I’m not pretty enough.”
- “Handsome dudes get the handsome girls. That is just how the world works.”
- “Can I get her?! No. With my looks, I must be happy if I can at least polish and clean her shoes. “
Sorry mate, I recognize your excuses, I used to have them (see the previous photo above), but know that this is not true.
You’re making thinking errors of the 10th magnitude
I am not going to deny that appearance naturally plays a role for women. But it is much, much, MUCH less important than many men think.
Just as Alexander, who didn’t have his looks in his favor, he did get attention from the women, because he had an appearance.
It was HIS appearance that gave her a taste of his energy, his character, his flow.
(what this means becomes clear throughout this article)
The good news is that if your looks are not so great, it doesn’t mean your appearance should also suffer.
And when she meets a strong, self-assured, relaxed guy with a nice look that is, for instance, extremely ugly to me … then she still wants to suck up his energy, his character.
And the truth is that your appearance is also within your control, and you become more attractive to her in this way.
Here we will clear that up for you. It is part of a positive male character.
I will give you a glimpse of the life of a dating coach. In the story below, you learn about one of those characteristics…
Let’s dive straight into the seven things women find attractive in men.
Attribute #1: This attractive quality made us end up together
After an evening out …
A beautiful woman gives me every reason to quit:
Eventually, I’m sitting next to her on the couch in the lobby of her student hotel.
(All mini-apartments for a stay of a few months.)
We kiss further in the lobby, she gets excited, and then she stops again.
I ask why.
This time the 100th objection comes up:
(One I’ve admittedly never heard before.)
She has a genetic condition that prevents her from smelling.
Also, more often heard, her room is a mess and she’s ashamed of it.
And she is also afraid that it will not smell nice due to the typical student mess.
I say I can’t give fewer Fs. Yet she remains shy.
A difficult situation, because you do not want to be that pushy guy now, but at the same time, you do not want to give up.
I tell her to tidy up her room.
She is in doubt.
Until I use the intonation of leadership.
She rushes into the elevator.
And ten minutes later, I walk into her (incredibly clean) room.
Two nights later, I decide to pay her a second visit.
After we have finished simultaneously … we’re talking in bed, still naked.
I return to all her doubts from day 1, and why she suddenly turned around in the lobby.
She imitates me and paraphrases:
She makes a feminine twist with her head, smiles, and says:
…she says with a giggle.
It is the intonation and attitude of leadership. This is the property that ensures that you go for your result, and at the same time, makes this easy.
It is a trigger in her brain, a thing women find attractive.
It is NEVER that you ASK her to go on a date with you, or ASK her to give her number, or to go home with you.
(Like every Average Joe does, and with that, he manages zero.)
Many men don’t understand this:
Leadership not only ensures that you get more results like a boss.
You also make her excited while heading towards your goal.
Purely by allowing more masculine expression in yourself, you hit one of the most important triggers in her brain.
The use of these intonations is very difficult to transfer via text. I show them in my courses and training.
I can, however, give you 20+ funny example sentences which you can use tonight already, in your conversations with women.
Attribute #2: What no man understands about attractive qualities
When I ask the group during a pick-up course:
AttractionGym seduction course in Barcelona.
When I ask that question, I often get answers such as “confident!” or “dominant!”
And yes, those things are attractive to women.
But you’re missing the point entirely; when you think that you “have to be confident,” then you can no longer embody the most attractive quality!
What is that?
Namely when women say “just be yourself,” this is what they mean by that:
Be vulnerable, be honest about what you feel, think, believe, and want.
Sounds vague, right?
All right then. (Not that I really expected an answer from you.)
When a man addresses a woman, he often acts from “do I come across as self-assured? What does she think? Am I doing it right that way?”
But it’s OKAY not to feel self-confident, it’s fine, as long as you don’t act fake.
People who are not authentic are generally horrible.
So instead of impressing her, be vulnerable.
For example, some time ago, I was talking to a friend during the day. All the time, I saw a stunning woman waiting for someone. My eyes continuously strayed to her.
But approaching someone during the day is exciting, and I also doubted whether she was too young for me.
After saying goodbye to my buddy, I approached her:
This hit like a bomb. She turned out to be only a few years younger, and luckily, she was single. We exchanged numbers went out on a date.
I simply spoke the truth. That is being vulnerable. And it’s a super attractive quality.
Of course, women are attracted to other peculiar qualities.
Perhaps you want to know them all (and you should!)
In that case, I’d suggest you read this article:
>> What Makes Women Attracted to Men? 11 Irresistible Qualities
Attribute #3: How to show positive self-image
Men can often be divided into two camps:
One camp think that appearance makes a huge difference. They think that an ugly man cannot be attractive to women.
The other camp, on the other hand, thinks that appearance doesn’t matter. That women only pay attention to behavior and status.
Of course, both camps are wrong. It is true that women pay more attention to behavior and status than men when it comes to finding someone attractive. That’s the reason why I’ve had very young to very old men at training sessions both be successful with women.
So how does this work?
You must realize that your appearance and looks are also part of your behavior.
- How you dress is partly a reflection of your self-image.
- How you deal with your body goes hand in hand with your self-love.
How can a woman find a man attractive if he doesn’t care about himself?
Then her love would be like a poor bandage on his bad self-image.
Your style includes the way you dress, use accessories, and how you care for yourself. Though the most significant here is clothing.
(Style does not necessarily have everything to do with the way you “look” but rather with how you carry yourself. The clothes you wear says a lot about you as you will already see now.)
See it this way.
Suppose you are in a club, bar, or festival. The house rules are that guys are not allowed to talk or move. They stand central and protected …
Every guy is an island on his own
The ladies, on the other hand, are allowed to move. They move past the guys like boats do along islands, and while they do this, they have the choice to be allowed to moor at an “island” of their choice.
It is clear that you want your island to have the best look. Your island is the coolest, most exciting, funniest, and most attractive island in such a way that when her boat arrives at your home port, she enters the most lively, tropical island party.
Whether you like it or not, the way you dress tells her how things are going to be on your island.
Style is certainly important.
To choose a new style for yourself, you can model inspiring, cool guys. This can be done online or in reality.
What I always recommend is:
- Model successful men until you get compliments about your own looks &
- Personalize it afterward.
The two main role models I used are Hank Moody from Californication and Ryan Gosling, you know, the guy from Crazy Stupid Love.
This is the most superficial and easy tip that can give you a serious boost to your appearance.
This is what women find attractive – and fortunately, this can be developed.
Now, if you have no idea how to dress to be more attractive to women, I wrote an article about it.
Read it and thank me later:
>> 10 Tips – Dress to Impress for Men (Ladies LOVE This)
We’re not even halfway and you can already make women jelly with these qualities. More things girls find attractive in men coming up.
Attribute #4: Being Light & Fun
And the best way to do this is to be Light & Fun.
As a man, one of my success credos of life is that you have to understand that life should be light & enjoyable, you don’t act to get the girl, you entertain yourself. This makes you feel good, and you radiate this to others.
And an extremely good way to do this is … you guessed it … by being LIGHT & FUN.
By this, I do NOT mean that you must be funny or a true comedian or anything. By this, I mean that you experience life lightly and pleasantly, and in this way, you are not a heavy or oppressive presence.
Look around, and you will soon notice that when a person is serious, he simply makes it clear that he cannot handle life. Life is too overwhelming, and he, therefore, feels insecure.
Everyone knows that grumpy, evil man who, as Record Holder of the Pessimistic Games, can only see the bad in everything.
- He’s heavy.
- He’s serious.
He is everything EXCEPT Light & Fun.
Do you think a surly, pessimistic and angry man something women find attractive in men?
Not quite what women are attracted to.
These surly men communicate on a subliminal level that they don’t know how to handle life, so they turn into sour plums and start throwing their sour plum juice on other people.
Do you think people like to get your sourness given to them or look up to a sour plum?
F *** NO!
Get rid of them sour plums.
They have no control over their lives; why else would they be so sour?
Women instantly notice that these men cannot cope with life and become surly and angry. It makes their libido dry out even faster than a drop of water on a hot stove.
Because the thing is…
Being light & Fun as a man is so crucial to being attractive to women. It creates an atmosphere for them to unfold at the moment. If there is something that women love, it is an atmosphere in which they can live in the moment. Here and now. Safe. Without worries. Not thinking about the past and not thinking about the future.
I’m glad you asked.
Do you remember the time when you were a kid, and you simply had fun? The only thing you needed was yourself. You didn’t take into account what others expect from you, and you were practicing …
You did not take into account what others did or did not expect from you; you were just yourself and had fun.
And with pleasure, I don’t mean:
I mean REALLY fun, like Hank Moody, the main character of Californication, who has this ability.
When I call in my panel of men that are successful with women, this always comes up.
The men who are Light & Fun are the men who have fun when they go into the wide world.
And do you know what happens to guys who just want to have fun?
After an evening out and not taking a girl home, they still feel good.
Because they have so much fun, they are always laughing and messing around. Challenge and embarrass each other.
They make fun of themselves and leave an impression on the people they meet.
This one time, we were at a SummerBootcamp in Barcelona. In the middle of the week, I challenged some students to stand on the bar with me to do an incredible stupid dance that I had just taught them.
We were in our own nice flow and jumped on the bar.
Did the dance look nice? No, it looked crazy.
Did we have fun? F*ck yes!
We were kicked off in no time by a bartender, but the effect was that we were three times looser. No wonder one of the students took a beautiful Swedish girl home a little later.
In other words: women are attracted to men who are Light & Fun.
It is CONTINUOUS, and it gives her nice emotions.
So, let’s say you have a date planned. How are you going to create a fun atmosphere?
You might need some more tips about this.
Good thing I wrote an article about it! Read it here:
>> 11 Hand Picked Date Night Ideas Voted As Most Creative
Let’s keep going with another attractive quality in a man:
Attribute #5: Being comfortable
This is a discipline in itself, so let me keep it short.
Have you ever seen a dude pass by and thought?
This is what body language can do for you unknowingly.
And this is what body language has done for me since.
If you then know that women are much more sensitive to these signals, you can be sure that body language is crucial to create ATTRACTION.
Body language includes:
- How you walk
- How you look
- How to move your arms
You have an open posture. This means; shoulders back, back straight and chin up. Your appearance says: life is wonderful, just like me.
Plant your feet firmly on the floor, shoulder width. And imagine that you are a 500-year-old oak tree with roots that go deep and wide into the earth. Like that tree, you are strong, strong, and unwavering.
Now try to keep your legs close together, as is the case with a small tin soldier. You can hardly stand firmly on your feet and feel that you are in a weak position.
Which of the two gives you the most power?
I trust you to know the correct answer.
Slow, controlled movements
What I mean by ‘slower and controlled movement’ is that you generally never want to seem rushed; otherwise, you will seem strange and create a weird, restless atmosphere.
Everyone knows someone who does this, and they always seem very weird, restless, or even spastic.
You often see this at the cash register in the store. When someone has to pay for his groceries and meanwhile, he also has to pack his things in bags, you see him looking at the line of people behind him.
Because of this, he starts to get nervous, his jaw starts to get tense, and he tries to pay as quickly as possible. In this way, he tries to pay uncontrollably and clumsily, which increases the chance that he will drop his change.
Try not to do the same. Relax that jaw and move half as slowly, as if you are underwater.
You also see this often with James Bond. Not that he goes to your local grocery store, but in every film, he moves slowly and in a controlled manner. For example, when someone calls him, he does not immediately turn his head and says, “YES, YES, YES, what, what, WHAT?!”.
Mmh, no, James Bond doesn’t do this.
When he is walking, and someone calls him, he goes a little further, and then he turns around slowly and in a controlled manner.
If you perform all your movements a little slower and in a controlled manner, you radiate calmness. You don’t come across as the nervous boy tripping over his own legs or performing small, impulsive, and spastic movements.
How do you think she’ll think about sex with you if you move like that?
Haha, she will never have that thought go through her mind.
Nein Mann, you are calm, controlled, and know at all times how you move your body. This way, you radiate a certain self-assurance.
You move when you want to move.
This is what women are attracted to.
It also applies to eye contact when you make eye contact with someone, do not suddenly turn away as if you feel “caught.” Instead, look one more second and turn away calmly where you want.
This does not mean that you have to take over the speed of a snail, but I trust that you have a certain idea of what I mean.
A good measure for most guys is that you divide the current speed by two. So, move twice as slow. In the beginning, it may feel “unnatural,” but with time, you’ll wonder why you never did it before.
When you move slower and less than necessary, you will also become calm. I don’t want to go too fast into voodoo or spirituality, but moving more calmly makes you calmer mentally and makes you more relaxed around her.
We will see how this happens in a bar:
While you are chilling with your buddies, you notice her, and she is dancing 4 meters further with her friends. You make eye contact and give a little smile while maintaining your open, masculine build.
You look away in the distance for a moment and then quietly walk towards her, in a controlled manner.
If you don’t know how to walk to her, pretend to be the owner of the building, walk with that relaxed certainty. You are strong and confident, and you are going to have a nice chat.
As you do this, you want to avoid as much wriggling as possible, so don’t try turning sporadically around or tapping with your fingers, arms, legs, or I know what. She will feel this and become restless.
And for her, this is very uncomfortable.
And this is real.
Do you know that feeling that when someone around you is extremely nervous, you start to feel nervous?
When I talk to girls about their dates, one big reason why their dates ended was that she felt nervous, and when I ask why they felt nervous is because the GUY always felt nervous.
That shit is real.
What do you do about this?
Move slower and less than necessary.
When you walk towards her in the bar, you walk quietly, as if you are walking through water. You relax that jaw and talk quietly. You do not wriggle your nails, and you will not fill in unnecessarily silences.
When you do this, you will automatically become more relaxed, and you will radiate this peace to her.
This is such a simple but damn tempting principle.
And I have more in store for you.
Attribute #6: Be a challenge
I’m going to keep this short and powerful.
Being a challenge is an ART, and women love it.
The best analogy I can give is with a cat.
If you challenge a cat by hanging a wire just above its head, what does it do?
The cat becomes furious and does EVERYTHING to get the wire in her claws. It jumps in the air, dances around, and runs after it through the room.
BUT once she has it … POOF … The magic is gone. The cat plays with the wire for a while, looks at it for a few seconds, and then walks away.
The cat is bored.
It doesn’t want it anymore.
This counts for all people and especially women.
If you challenge her, tease her, her heartbeat rises, she gets hot, it’s fun.
Once she has the feeling that she “has” you, but you are suddenly CHALLENGING, and you give her the feeling that she doesn’t have you by saying, for example:
Then she becomes furious again, just like the cat that THOUGHT it had the ball of wool in its possession.
You challenge her by saying this sentence.
The best way to become attractive
Now you know what exactly makes women attracted to men.
Now, I know it’s a lot of information. It can be overwhelming at first.
No worries, I got you.
I created a toolkit to help you take action in becoming an attractive man.
It’s called the Transformation Kit.
So, take these attributes with you and apply them in real life. I didn’t just give you some matches, I gave you a damn flame thrower to make things hot bro.
Use it ethically and check it with your moral compass.
Dan de Ram
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