Over the past few years, I have had at least 1 Tinder date per week.
Often times 2 or 3.
Until I conducted my experiment… and I had 38 dates in a month (conclusion: too many Tinder experiences).
But I’ll get back to you on that.
Have you been wondering if Tinder works?
In this article I’ll discuss the pros and cons of Tinder.
And I’ll give you my best tips, for both men and women, that I learned from my 300 Tinder experiences.
- My 3 favorite openers to use on Tinder (they work for men and women alike)
- How to ask someone out for a fun Tinder experience
- The 5 biggest disadvantages of the dating app…
- …and the 5 even bigger advantages!
- 9 mistakes to watch out for during your online dating experience as a guy (and I’ve made all 9 of them)
- The secret of emotional momentum and how to use it to get dates faster
- 3 example screenshots from my mobile that’ll help you discover how to make your conversations more exciting
- And lots more…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: Be aware of these 5 disadvantages of Tinder
Nothing is perfect, and this infamous American dating app is no exception.
So know what you’re getting yourself into.
I’ve experienced all of these things myself, to some degree…
Disadvantage #1: Tinder is all about one thing
I already know what you were thinking when you read the title 😉
Tinder is all about one thing, and that one element is:
Don’t have a good Tinder profile?
Just give up now. And forget your Tinder experiences.
Because you know what they say:
But let’s be honest:
If someone comes up to you on the street in really ugly clothes, you’re likely to think that want 5 cents.
If someone’s wearing nice clothes, has a nice vibe and smile comes up to you, you’re more likely to feel at ease.
People judge books by their covers, so make sure you’ve got the best Tinder photos on your cover so that your new match can get to know what’s on the inside as well.
Starting your Tinder dating stories starts with the creation of an attractive profile.
By the way, a Dutch designer has made a book that will judge YOU by your cover – check out this 30-second video:
Disadvantage #2: Negative Tinder experiences (Reddit)… coming across a family member
Or even worse…
You could match with your sister:
(That would be a weird Tinder dating experience.)
If you’re unfamiliar with terms like “matching” and “swiping,” I’ll help you out later with the exact instructions on how Tinder works + a few pro tips.
Disadvantage #3: It can be too easy
Other apps are especially guilty of this.
They make it too easy for you.
Well, take Happn for example. This is a very similar app on which you can only match with women that are in your vicinity.
I remember one time in the gym I was wondering whether I should go up to a woman…
She was working on her abs, together with 3 girl friends around her.
This idiotic thought raced through my mind:
Pfff. What a joke.
Is that why I learned to flirt in strange situations?
Shortly thereafter I had way more free data on my phone, because Happn was gone.
Before that, I gave her a compliment, just like a normal person would do.
So make sure that your online flirting does not get in the way of your real life dating experiences.
You might not know how to give bad-ass authentic compliments to a woman.
Well, I’ve got good news: I wrote a step-by-step compliment guide.
Check it out here:
Disadvantage #4: It’s almost as addicting as heroin
Dopamine is the ‘reward’ chemical in your brain.
It’s released during, for example, eating, sex and winning competitions.
This research shows that only the act of taking an addictive substance ensures the release of dopamine…
Just the action leads to an even greater release of dopamine, than the dopamine released by the drugs themselves.
In other words: more than 50% of the “reward” in your brain comes from the action, not the drug.
While swiping, dopamine is released when you get a match.
Yes, Tinder can be addicting.
So, keep your eye on the prize:
Is it about validation for you? Adventure? Or are you looking for a good relationship with someone?
Disadvantage #5: Tinder is pretty shallow
Personally, I’ve never had too much of a problem with this.
For me, my Tinder experiences sometimes ends with a one-night stand, but often I end up with somewhat of a girlfriend or an open relationship with someone I can go on vacation with:
The Dead Sea in Israel on our 5th Tinder date. Heck this could be your Tinder experience in India backpacking with your lady.
Unfortunately, a woman online describes her experiences with Tinder in a darker tone:
You’ve been warned.
Now a bit more upbeat:
Tip #2: Advantages of Tinder
Those were the disadvantages.
But of course, there are always two sides to every story:
So, I’ll stay positive.
Because I believe in Tinder as a means of making your dating experiences more exciting. Here are the advantages for you:
Advantage #1: You maximize your chances of finding love Are you able to pick up women or men in the restroom at work? I certainly hope that you don’t.
Unless you’re doing this via Tinder, with your pants around your ankles, you can plan a new date for this Friday.
Advantage #2: Tinder is fun
Way too many people think that Tinder is just a place to find fresh meat. But for me, it’s more of a comedy show.
Someone who really gets this principle is my buddy Louis.
My Flemish friend who made great videos about Tinder.
He actually met his girlfriend. On….TINDER.
Advantage #3: A lot of attractive people are on Tinder
Online dating used to only be for lonely people. But nowadays it’s hipper than this cute hipster:
A few famous people that have also used Tinder:
- Leonardo DiCaprio
- Hilary Duﬀ
- Zac Efron
- Mariah Carey
Maybe you’ll match with a local or international celebrity on the dating app.
Wouldn’t that be a Tinder experience for life?
Advantage #4: The surprise-eﬀect
Are you ready to date someone other than the usual men/women in your area? With Tinder, this is like spinning the wheel of fortune …
And your prize is a date.
Sometimes that person is disappointing.
But these are often the funniest stories to share with your friends later on over drinks.
Advantage #5: Finding love on Tinder is DEFINITELY a possibility
According to research done on online dating, more and more people are meeting their true love online.
They recorded that 39% people in the US meet online!
So don’t believe Tinder deniers who claim that it’s all just a ‘meat market,’ or that it’s all about finding one night stands.
Just ask any willing colleague at work (as long as they’re under 40), and they’ll know of a couple who are together because of Tinder.
Tip #3: How to start getting Tinder experiences
To make it quick:
Now you can also use Tinder on your computer.
You no longer need to connect your Facebook account to use Tinder.
And even if you do this NOBODY from your Facebook friends can see that you’re using Tinder, Tinder doesn’t post any messages to your Facebook timeline (unless they come across you on Tinder themselves).
You are pretty much anonymous on Tinder.
Now that you’ve downloaded the app, you can add photos to your profile using your phone’s photo album or via Facebook.
How to get the most out of Tinder, including how all the functions work and how to use them wisely…
Superlikes, Tinder Plus, and Tinder Boost…
Check out this article about all you need to know to make a killer profile:
Tip #4: The best openers for men and women
In general, there are 3 types of openers that I use:
- GIFs (you know, the moving pictures)
- Clickbait openers (by far your best chance at success)
- Chess master’s openers
I’ll give you two examples.
Fun GIFs to send on Tinder
You can ONLY send GIFs.
Which is definitely enough to get a response.
Later I’ll let you in on how to do so in an even smarter way. So, you want to send fun GIFs?
Then send a completely random one.
Preferably NOT the ones that Tinder recommends when you open the GIF menu at the bottom left corner because everyone uses these.
(See screenshot below, the blue button)
The one I like using now is a dog winking, search ‘dog wink,’ and you’ll find it. Something that works even better is giving the GIF context.
As you can see in the example.
This makes it extra funny, and you increase your chances of getting a reply.
The clickbait opener
I named this type of opener after it.
This kind of opener is extremely eﬀective.
…is because clickbait works.
You know it, you see this kind of stuﬀ online:
Haha! it’s awful, right?
Luckily you can use clickbait to your advantage.
It’s the kind of opener that gets the most replies on Tinder.
Tip #5: How to get the most Tinder dating stories
But what are the most important factors in real estate?
So,what are the essential factors to put on your Tinder profile?
I solemnly swear:
That this was the first and last time, I’ll quote myself. Because it’s so true.
EVERYTHING in online dating and getting Tinder dates… is about your photos.
There are a few variables that make an impact on your photo:
- The quality of your camera/phone
- The angle (more important than you think!)
- The environment
- Smiling / or looking away
- Making eye contact with the camera or not
- Black and white / Natural / Filter
I did a test to see the diﬀerence in environment, so I photoshopped myself into 2 photos.
A messy background from a high angle and a luxurious background where the picture was shot at a lower angle.
My Tinder experience with these 2 pictures? High status works about 10% better.
I’ve tried out this kind of test hundreds of times (with multiple Tinder accounts)
I was working so hard to gain my online dating experiences through Tinder that I had 40 dates in one month.
(Often coﬀee dates in the morning or afternoon, but I don’t recommend that). So also test your photos, test the opening sentences, test everything.
Or listen to the tips in this article.
One vital thing to know is how to make your conversations more interesting…
Tip #6: Use this word in your messages
Whether it be Tinder, Happn, or WhatsApp.
If you also want real-life experiences and meet her in real life, then you’ll need to stimulate the right emotions within her.
What researchers discovered is that one word will increase your chances of a match when it’s used in your online dating profile text.
Do you want to know what it is? Here it comes:
It makes sense, but you have to use it the right way.
By talking about love in a ditzy way, you only scare people away.
So, talk about the love you have for the cool things in your life that you do. For example:
So, don’t just use the word love.
But speak using diﬀerent emotional terms like in the conversation above. Words in the screenshot that bring out emotion:
- Best of my life
- Gay (Yeah, don’t be 100% politically correct)
- Freaky hot
- Love it
While most people write like this:
You can feel the cliché dripping from these annoying questions.
Nobody gets excited by this kind of message on Tinder or any other messaging app. So put some more emotion into your messages.
By sharing your experiences, being enthusiastic, without being overly positive.
Tip #7: Make the Tinder experience be…. ABOUT HER
Too many men have the following misconception:
This isn’t the way to get people interested in you. Why?
Because you’re exchanging too much rational information, she won’t get the feeling that she knows you.
This a big mistake.
You want to exchange emotions with her. I’ll give you an example of that right now.
By asking her boring questions, you quickly get stuck in the dull, typical standard conversation.
By making remarks about your impression of her, you can make the conversation a lot more exciting. With this you can give her a great tinder dating experience.
I’ll make it clear.
See this screenshot; we’ll continue with the previous WhatsApp conversation from the previous tip:
She starts talking about her experiences with saunas.
Instead of asking her questions, I make a comment about my impression of her. (Even though we know each other from Tinder)
You can see that she reacts very positively to this, possibly even giving a longer answer than if I had just sent her a question.
The conversation even starts to get a bit of a sensual vibe. My question for you:
How would you reply to this?
Think about it.
This is an exercise for your creativity and skills in messaging. I’ll give you the answer later.
Of course, it’s not about never asking questions. There are some great questions you can ask a girl to get the conversation flowing.
Need some inspiration? Here’s a list of 111 examples:
Tip #8: Emotional momentum
I doubted calling this tip.
But emotional momentum sounds a lot more interesting.
A lot of people make this mistake:
They’re not active Tinder users. What does Tinder want to see? That you’re playing the game.
So, Tinder rewards you as an active user:
- Responding to messages
- Swiping left and right
- Starting a conversation after you’ve matched with someone
But you shouldn’t do this just for the Tinder algorithm. Replying quickly is something you do for her.
Without emotional momentum, your whole conversation will be a losing battle. Coincidentally, yesterday I got my longest Tinder revival EVER.
We had our first conversation in 2014, to which I never replied. And now, in 2018, I got a response:
Don’t mind the Orc language. The dates is what it’s about. And receiving a message after 4,5 years is a strange Tinder experience
Honestly, if she were the woman of my dreams, I would have responded.
But the emotional momentum can go away, especially for women, who lose interest after too much time.
So always reply within 24 hours! (And not 4.5 years)
Tip #9: Know what to do on a Tinder date
It seems that romance is dying because of one curse. The curse of clichés:
- Clichés in boring conversations
- Clichés in bad openers on Tinder (click here for 17 openers!)
- Clichés in waiting-till-the-last-second to kiss
- Clichés in the kind of movies you watch once she’s your girlfriend
- And also, clichés in dating….
This is your 9-step-plan for a boring, cliché date:
- Meet up in a big public area, right in front of a rundown café
- Give each other three kisses on the cheek
- Sit across from each other
- Ask boring questions
- Mostly talk about yourself, work, and hobbies
- Wait till the end of the date for the kiss…
- Don’t dare to make a ‘move,’ awkwardly say goodbye
- Get a message the next day:
Hey, I had fun, but I didn’t feel a spark, I see you more as a friend.
- Repeat on your next Tinder date experience.
So, let’s not do things like Average Joe.
Success in almost every aspect of life can be achieved with one secret:
So I’ve made an overview for you with a few guides:
- First date tips for guaranteed date success
- Tips to improve your appearance and have women checking YOU out
- Flirting tips to attract women in your life (real life and online)
- Signs a girl likes you over text and you should take her on a date straight away
To get the most out of your date. Here’s a practical tip:
ALWAYS start your date with a hug. Open up your body language.
As if you haven’t seen her in years (without all the screaming and crying). And give her a short and especially relaxed hug.
Tip #10: Here’s how to get golden Tinder experiences
I was going to get back to you about a WhatsApp conversation from earlier… To show you how to make a conversation funny in a sexual way.
First, read the conversation above; otherwise, you won’t understand a single thing about the context.
Read tips 6 and 7.
I had asked you a question:
How would you reply to this?
Her reply isn’t very confident, and she’s not really playing along with my story:
- She’s not a fan of saunas
- She’s saying that my image of her isn’t correct
- She complains about watching eyes
The tip is:
Don’t just use emotional words, as I showed in tip 6. You should also use words that motivate imagery.
I write out a little scenario for her, and you see her replying flirtatiously to my joke:
Tip #11: How to transform yourself into an attractive person
The average Dutchman or Belgian…
- Sit on the couch too much.
- They eat poorly.
- They don’t have happy love lives.
I call them Average Andys.
- Not necessarily happy…
- Not necessarily unhappy…
What’s the diﬀerence between a BOSS and an Average Andy? Here’s the answer:
Almost impossible to get over… And what is that hurdle for getting experiences with Tinder?
Your front door.
Whether we’re talking about setting up a Tinder photoshoot or going up to fun girls while clubbing, or even picking up women during the day…
Action makes all the diﬀerence.
Do you actually want to have epic Tinder experiences?
Which is why I’ve made a Transformation Kit for you. Which includes tools on how to start right away.
And then you can email me about all your new online dating experience.
Dan de Ram