Do you have a tongue in your mouth?
Are you in control of your lips?
Congratulations, this means you can master your conversations.
Because boring questions, awkward silences, and lame conversations are from now on history.
In this article you’ll find:
- 15 Extensive tips for topics to talk about with a girl – Choking is history
- The Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson method that will get you from level 2 to level 100 in your conversations.
- Three conversation boosters that will make for good discussion topics.
- What you can learn from a professional freestyle rapper about a topic to talk about with a girl
- My secret behind having interesting conversations non-stop (even if you don’t know anything about the topic)
- Conversation Games that will keep the other talking forever
- How to tell your stories in a way that will captivate and catch the other’s full attention.
- Eminem’s emergency remedy that will ensure you’ll never choke during your topics to talk about with a girl
- and much more.
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: How the Rock’s conversations rose from level 2 to 100
Before we start, I have some good news for you:
You can LEARN and MASTER how to have epic conversations.
Firstly, it comes down to knowing what to talk about. Science helps us with that. And secondly, skill. This is where I pop up.
Both ingredients together will make you a conversational king.
I’ll demonstrate this with the story of Dwayne The Rock Johnson, one of Hollywood’s biggest actors.
Often we only see the best side of famous people like The Rock; while they’re stealing the show on the big screen.
What you don’t see is that celebrities have practiced how to have great conversational.
You can see this with the Rock…
When you compare his old and new footages, you can see how he went from level 2 to level 100.
And he didn’t use magic to get there. Dwayne just used some principles that made his conversations better.
Check here to see what his conversations used to be like:
Or if you don’t have time to watch this, here is a transcript of the most important point:
So yeah, we are talking about the origin story of his name.
There is room for improvement here.
In tip 2, I will show you a video in which you can see how Dwayne goes up a whole level in his conversational skills in comparison to this old video.
Now I will share three principles with you that caused him to level up his conversational skills.
Here is the first one:
Answering questions with a story
In the old footage, we see how Dwayne answers questions super shortly. At times he doesn’t even say more than ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
This won’t get you far in conversations.
So, when for example a nice date asks you about your work…
Don’t just say:
No, tell the story around it.
Always make sure you give more context than a simple ‘yes’, ‘no’ or any other one-word-answer.
This way, it is a lot more personal, and it will stop you from thinking immediately after your short answer: “What do I say now?!”
It’s also a great way to make a connection with any girl. The more personal stories you share, the more they’ll open up to you as a result.
More on that right here:
Tip #2: How to build up your topics with a girl
Telling stories is quite literally an art.
It has depth, and you are not going to master it in 24 hours.
Sometimes you simply won’t know where to start or what to say. The Rock knew this too, and he has over the years found a solution.
When you are telling your stories, you want to use this principle:
Move from the problem towards the solution.
When you are doing this, you will create an enormous amount of tension in your stories.
In this video, you see the Rock doing this quite clearly:
As you can see, he amplifies certain aspects a lot.
He goes back to a time when he was literally at rock bottom…
(Yes, pun intended)
And eventually, he succeeds in making a recovery.
This is how, with two elements, a problem and a solution, you can turn your conversational skills into a soap opera.
I enjoy teaching you principles and tactics, but let’s be honest… it is also nice to just have some example sentences. What about 17 example sentences?
For this, I have written an article. Check it out here:
Tip #3: Stop being so rational
Talking about soap operas…
This brings me to the third principle, which helped the Rock move up a level in improving his conversational skills.
When you watch the video about his journey to success, you can see that he doesn’t just move from a problem towards a solution…
He doesn’t just say:
Most times, men tend to tell their stories logically.
They limit themselves by solely telling the facts.
The Rock tells his story in a dramatic and emotional manner.
In his words as well as in his voice.
When you are in a conversation with a girl, where you move from a problem towards a solution, you want to recall the emotions you experienced then precisely.
Emotions increase the tension of the story and make your story more captivating.
Tip #4: The 3 conversation boosters
With the previous three principles by The Rock, you’ll be able to boost your conversations.
Still, you won’t be able to use these principles in all conversation subjects with women.
For example, you won’t move from a problem towards a solution in ALL topics.
Therefore, I’ll share the three conversation boosters with you.
These are three elements that apply to any conversation. ..
Many people do not know these elements, and that is something that becomes painfully clear within the first three minutes of their conversations.
The moment of the so-called small talk…
You might know it…
Ever had this conversation with a girl?
And then you get stuck…
This is because the three conversation boosters for epic conversational material are completely missing here.
- 1. Emotional momentum
- 2. The ‘we-bubble.’
- 3. Vulnerability
When looking at the small talk above, you can see that all 3 of these are lacking.
Still, you can integrate these from the start into your small talk.
For example, by telling about something embarrassing that just happened. Or by sharing an amazing experience.
I imagine you might be wondering what the “we-bubble” is?
Let’s address this first.
Tip #5: Creating a ‘we-bubble.’
What you’ll often see in conversations is that people find themselves in a ‘me/you game.’
EITHER they are constantly talking about themselves, OR they are listening to what the other is saying.
Because of this, there are two bubbles…
And when you are both in your own bubble, it is much harder to keep the conversation going.
What you can often see is that a Ping-Pong game over distance is created between your stories and her stories.
You want to create a we-bubble
What you want to do is shape everything that she contributes or you contribute to the conversation you have with a woman into a we-together-format…
So when she says that she is stressed out because of work…
You might, for example, say:
Or if she says she loves traveling…
You can say:
We-together formats apply to everything.
And when you place yourself and her together in one scene, you also have that emotional momentum.
Tip #6: Use this great conversation technique / topic
You now have received some principles and conversation boosters that will help you improve your conversational content…
Still, the question remains:
What topics to talk about with a girl?
Because with great topics to talk about with a girl, you’ll be able to avoid awkward silences forever.
To answer this, you’ll get the three conversational topics that will give you the greatest amount of conversational material.
This way, you’ll avoid awkward silences.
The first one:
Many people tend to talk about what they are doing NOW while they are on dates.
They talk about their work, their hobbies, and other things as they are at this moment….
The reason why your conversations often die down with a girl is that you are probably talking about things that are fixed…
This doesn’t apply to the future.
In the future, anything is possible.
You can talk about ambitions, dreams, and a great plan of something you might do together with your date.
Now, perhaps you don’t have any ambitions, dreams or great plans.
In this case, it’s time you start working on yourself and improving your life. Read more about this here:
Tip #7: Funny topics to talk about
We can find a lot in the past as well.
Your childhood is the second topic you can apply to conversations.
The advantage of talking about childhood is that there is a big chance that it left you with some anecdotes.
There is a great chance that something awkward or painful happened which you can share.
And because it was so long ago, it is unlikely that it still affects you or that it is embarrassing to share with your date.
A couple of beautiful example sentences never hurt.
Download these free 17 funny sentences for your conversations here.
Tip #8: Always a good convo topic
Travel is another one of those topics that really brings conversations to life, more so than work or hobbies…
Almost everyone has an epic memory from an amazing trip they made or dreams about going traveling in the future.
Another additional advantage is that we, as people find it hard to differentiate between fact and fiction.
This is why when we watch horror films we can experience real fright, and when watching a romantic sitcom, we might shed some tears (just admit it already, bro.)
So because you are talking about traveling, you will quickly experience the emotions that you were experiencing while you were traveling.
It is this emotional layer that will make your conversation so much better. Especially when you are speaking to women, it is important if you are looking for a bigger emotional connection with a woman.
Tip #9: The power of ‘open loops’
Especially when talking about travel, you can apply an effective technique that will keep the conversation flowing.
In order to stop the conversation from dying down after you’ve told a story, you want to weave open loops into your story.
What you have to do is, incorporate details into your story, but don’t give everything away.
This might look like this:
As you can see this story is about nutritional advice…
While whoever is listening to this must be thinking “hold on a second, a United Nation’s mission on the border with Syria? What was he doing there?”
Don’t give it all away, hold out on some information.
This will keep the conversation interesting, and it will give your conversation partner something to question YOU about.
Tip #10: Give ‘speaking commandos’
Also, when your partner is talking, there is a technique that you can use to keep the conversation going.
For example, if your conversation partner has just told you that she is a nurse or enjoys dancing.
Many men will have little to say to this kind of information, or they might bore her with lousy questions like:
A technique to help avoid this from happening is to speak in commandos.
What you want to do is to repeat the information your partner has just given you and then give a commando to signal she should continue talking about it.
So imagine your partner just said:
You’ll give the talking commando:
This way, you keep the conversation going without being the boring interviewer.
Tip #11: How to outsmart every freestyle rapper
Conversation boosters, conversation topics and the conversational principles of the Rock to help you tell stories.
You are well on your way to build an exceptional conversational arsenal.
However, you can always find yourself in unexpected situations.
And this might cause you to have black-outs… you panic… and you choke.
In order to find a solution to this, we will dive into the world of freestyle rap.
In other words, improvisation with words.
Even here there was a turning point that was painfully captured in live footage…
I am talking about the freestyle rap battle between Serious Jones and Jin.
Jin is often seen as one of the big boys of freestyle rap.
But during this battle with Serious Jones, something happened that Jin did not see coming…
Serious Jones had prepared his lines word for word.
No matter how good Jin is at freestyling he would not have a chance to win this battle…
Serious Jones completely owned Jin with one great line after another.
Fuck, there you are… with nothing to say…
In this video, you can see how this went down:
Many freestyle rappers took this move by Serious Jones to heart…
In order to avoid having their opponents outsmart them, they started pre-preparing their lines on mass.
And what happened because of this…
Rap battles all of a sudden became mother fucking epic to watch.
In short, you want to prepare your lines.
Don’t get butchered like Jin…
But drop great lines like Serious Jones.
These can be short stories that direct the conversation towards your passion.
Or questions that guide the conversation towards topics you care about.
Tip #12: The Dilemma Battle
Another example of lines that you can memorize is, for example, the ‘Dilemma battle’.
In which you always give her two choices she has to choose from:
In order to get a nice conversation out of this, you don’t just want to know her choice you also want to know WHY she chooses this.
Because this will get her to think about her choices, these are the moments that you’ll get interesting answers.
If you don’t want to run out of topics when talking to a girl, you might need more examples of this kind of questions.
There you go, man:
Talking about a database… I have a tip that will help bring your line collection skills to the next level.
Tip #13: My secret to endless good topics to talk about with women
Preparing lines is one thing. But even with a couple of lines, you’ll soon run out of things to say…
That’s why you want to be doing what Serious Jones does, The Rock and what all other performers have in common…
What you don’t see when they are on a podium or when they are telling their story on camera, is that they don’t just prepare their lines…no, in order to go to the next level, they go much further than this:
They write down experiences and store this information in a system.
This is also the secret behind many of the examples used in this article and what my conversations are largely based on.
The database is a system with all kinds of maps and documents, in which I literally save everything which I find valuable.
Everything I come across in my life, I house in this database.
Inspiring stories, funny anecdotes, theoretical documents in which I elaborate on all kinds of lessons about business, science, productivity, communication, and psychology…
Just name it, and you will find it here.
I know you want to see all the gold that is this vault 😉
I know… I have some nerdy traits… Still; it is bizarre how valuable important it has been for me.
What you’ll see with many men when they are on a date is that the conversation will fall silent when the topic is something they know little about.
For example, it might happen that the date is telling them something about her studies or work.
And when they find her study or work vague, or they have no idea what she is talking about, there is the threat of awkward silence.
A database can really help you with this.
Because it will even then still happen that you don’t know anything about what she is talking about, but because of the database, it will always remind you of something that you have saved.
I mean, you don’t have to do it in such a nerdy and crazy way as me, with all sorts of folders and documents…
Still, I would recommend that you start writing down short stories and information that you find interesting to save.
Tip #14: The Top 3… of All Times
We, humans, love lists.
The Top 40, the Top 100 IMDB and the champions league…
As driven data analysts, we all want to keep track of everything.
And it provides us with endless conversational material.
So I’ll provide you with more examples that women will want to hear.
You can apply this while on a date by doing the following:
Create a “Top 3 [Subject] of all time”.
This one, for example, The Top 3 [Most Awkward experiences] of all time.
You can then take turns exchanging them… #vulnerability
Start by challenging her to share an embarrassing situation.
And in case she finds that too awkward, you can take the lead by sharing an awkward experience.
For the sake of lowering the bar, you don’t want to make your first story over the top embarrassing…
Eventually, as your third experience, you want to share your spiciest story.
This way, you can use this game as a simple method to increase sexual attractiveness in the conversation.
Tip #15: Eminem’s emergency plan for your conversations with a girl
For our last tip, we return to the world of rap.
More specifically to the final battle in 8 Mile, which symbolizes Eminem’s big breakthrough.
We can learn a crucial lesson about conversational material from this battle.
Just think about it, often, men feel like they need to win ‘the battle’ at all cost.
As soon as there is a silence, they’ll think “Damn, what should I say! I can’t let this happen!”
This is a big problem because this often makes them super awkward.
It is this fear of ‘choking’ that can make silence feel really painful.
That’s why we’ll have a look at B-Rabbit in The Final Battle of 8 Mile.
In this battle, he did something that a freestyle rapper had never done before…
Instead of forcing himself to be tough and to say how great he is, he does the opposite.
He decides to embrace the awkwardness of the situation
Click here to see what that looked like:
Still, you should absolutely not treat your conversation like a rap battle…
Conversations, after all, are the opposite of rap battles:
You have them in order to get closer together, not to destroy each other.
What B-Rabbit illustrates in the Final Battle is that you don’t want to continue a conversation that feels imposed; instead, you want to embrace the situation as it is.
Being lost of words literally happens to everyone.
And you can be really chill about this.
There are two things you can do…
Either just chill and wait until a new line pops up in your or her head.
Or do what B-Rabbit does:
Quite literally acknowledge what is happening.
You could in a nonchalant and dry way say lines like these:
This is a great way to relieve tension from the silence.
Big chance… it will make her laugh because you acknowledged the social discomfort of the situation.
Like B-rabbit shows us in the Final Battle, there are no freestyle conversations that you can ‘lose’ this way.
More conversation ideas
With the above 15 tips, you will never be at a loss again with topics to talk about with a girl.
If you are really getting into it and want to become an even bigger conversation king…then I have something for you.
I made a Transformation Kit for you, which is filled to the brim with conversation tactics to use on dates, over texting, and on Tinder.
Oh, and it is free 😉
Dan de Ram