10 Reasons Why Being ‘Unlucky’ in Love is Bullsh!t

Maybe you date women regularly, but you never seem to get a girlfriend.

Perhaps you never get past the first date.

Or you receive little to no attention at all from the ladies.

The point is, you have no luck with women.

And you want to hear reasons why you are unlucky in love.

Well, you’ve come to the right place.

You will learn:

  • The #1 problem why men stay single
  • The ultimate weapon of seduction for the introvert
  • 3 Easy steps to becoming more self-confident
  • How to finally get a girlfriend
  • Why your ambition is cockblocking you
  • An answer to the question: Why am I so unlucky in love…

By the end of this article, you will know exactly how to date the most amazing women and how to finally get a relationship.

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

The characteristics of the eternally single guy

Before we dive in with all the tips, first, I will give you a list of all the characteristics of the eternally single guy.

That way, you can see if indeed you are that ‘forever single’ guy we will pull through the wringer.

  • He always has an excuse as to why he’s single and has many reasons as to why that’s best for him.
  • He will tell you relationships are just boring, but secretly it would be quite good for him.
  • In a way, he is a little immature.
  • He spends an excessive amount of time on his work and/or on his hobbies.
  • He thinks women his age are too old for him.
  • In the supermarket, he always uses a basket instead of a shopping cart.
  • Secretly, he is afraid to open up completely to another person.
  • He’s socially awkward and loves to spend his time in the bar leaning against the back wall cradling a beer with his hand.
  • He gets home exhausted from work, sticks a frozen pizza in the oven and goes on playing video games or binging his new favorite show on Netflix.
  • He’s dressed like he got into the ‘reject section’ of the Salvation Army.
  • He can’t look at pictures of himself; that’s why he doesn’t have an online dating profile.
  • He mainly talks with men, and he treats women like they’re extraterrestrial creatures.
  • He falls in love in a heartbeat.
  • He wants to be with a woman so bad that he scares off every woman that shows interest.

As you can see, there are a lot of different characteristics of the ‘forever single’ man.

That’s because some men only have the need for sex, while other men are too afraid to even date.

You will probably fall into one of these two categories.

We will take a closer look at both of them.

But first, I will give you the tips if you’re that single guy that doesn’t date enough.

So if you’re that eternally single guy that dates but has bad luck in love. Go on to tip #5.

>> Bad Luck In Love (For Men): 7 Real Reasons

Tip #1: You’re too shy

Does your heart rate go through the roof if you have to answer a question in front of a group of people?

Do you get so nervous when you walk past a group of people that it almost feels like your legs are made of jello?

Would you rather drink a cappuccino while you ordered a latte because you are too afraid of a confrontation with the Starbucks barista?

That means that you have…

Social anxiety.

But it also means that you are human.

Every person on this earth has escaped a social situation out of anxiety at one point in their life.

That’s why I want you to do something extremely important.

Never talk about yourself as having ‘social anxiety’.

We all experience those feelings of fear.

Which means you’re the same as the rest of us.

Then, how come the rest is not afraid to date and you are?

The force of your social anxieties strongly correlates with your familiarity of the situation.

The more unfamiliar the situation, the greater your anxiety you will be.

So, if you want to learn to date people, you have to get familiar with talking to strangers.

How do you do that?

Start off small.

  • Make eye contact and say ‘hello’ to passerbys.
  • Ask the cassiere in the supermarket how he or she is doing.
  • Walk into a coffee shop and ask the barista what she recommends.

Your intention is not to get a date or to find your new best friend.

Your only intention is to get familiar with meeting new people.

If you make contact with other people every day, I can guarantee you will become less anxious and more confident.

>> 11 Tips to Show More Confidence with Girls, at Work & in Life

Tip #2: You’re an introvert

Are you an introvert? Then I have 3 words for you that will change the way you look at seduction FOREVER.

Peak-end rule.

That doesn’t clear things up, does it?

Let me tell you what the peak-end rule is.

It’s a psychological theory that states that people largely judge an experience by how they felt at its peak and at its end.

Meaning that its sum total is far less relevant.

Just think about a Broadway show, a Hollywood film or a concert.

Almost every movie or concert has its dull moments. But because those same movies and concerts have a monumentally high emotional peak, we let those dull moments slide.

And we just remember the emotional peak.

Are you an introvert? Then you’ve just found a psychological GOLDEN nugget.

Maybe you’re that person who stays quiet for 90% percent of the time during a social gathering.

With the peak-end rule as your compass, you can say exactly the right thing at the right moment, making you that much more attractive than the rest.

Here are three ways to do that:


Imagine you’re at a party and you’re listening in to the conversation a nice lady is having.

Wait until the conversation is over, walk over to her, and say:

I love the way that you tell stories. You speak with a lot of passion. That’s awesome!”

This will remind her that you were at the conversation. And it tells her you are confident, even though you’re not a big talker.


Maybe you’re in an environment where there is something competitive to do. Think darts, bowling, pool, table tennis, it doesn’t really matter.

But the woman you like is playing as well.

If you normally have very mundane talks, now you could say something super cool like:

“I’m sorry for what I am about to say…”

“But I’m gonna whoop your ass with table tennis. And I already feel guilty. Sort off…”

Now it doesn’t matter what the rest will say or do, your challenge will be what she’ll remember.

And now the last way to use the peak-end rule to your advantage….

The spontaneous test

Let’s say you are having a conversation with a group of people. And the subject changes to desserts or candy.

Then you could focus your attention on someone that you haven’t talked to yet and say:

“So, what’s up Tara? Are you a milk chocolate girl or a dark chocolate girl?”

If she likes the same thing as you, simply say:

“Wow… Copied from me, I bet. Okay, respect.”

If she gives the wrong answer, just say:

“Okay, well… That’s something we will have to work on.”

If she says she doesn’t like chocolate AT ALL, say this:

“… Who hurt you?”

“Okay, it doesn’t matter. We’ll talk about this later.” *make an extremely serious face*

Introversion is not an excuse to be single forever.

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Tip #3: You don’t know yourself as well as you think

We really need to talk.

You don’t comment on my articles. You don’t send me any feedback emails about my content.

You are really acting shy!

Where is your contribution?

Okay, that was a load of nonsense.

But I did address the issue I wanted to talk about:

Shyness. And more importantly…

The difference between being shy and acting shy.

A lot of people use shyness as a reason not to participate in a conversation.

That’s why they go quiet, answer with Yes or No or rather not voice their opinion at all.

And that’s a problem.

Because you might expect people to understand that you’re ‘just shy’.

But people would sooner think that you’re not participating out of:

  • Disinterest
  • Tiredness
  • Or… because you’re boring and have nothing to share!

Do you want to know my opinion about shyness?

It’s a polite word for scared.

“Ohhh! That’s not true, Dan! I’m just an introvert.”

Even if you are an introvert, that’s no excuse to go mute. (I actually am an introvert myself.)

Introversion simply means that social interactions cost you more energy than they give.

An extrovert is emotionally just as vulnerable as an introvert.

Being judged by others and running the risk of being rejected is just as much a source of fear and anxiety for an extravert.

In other words: shyness and introversion are two completely different things.

Which means…


That you can unlearn shyness. It’s actually not even part of your personality. It’s just fear of rejection.

How do you conquer your fear of rejection so you don’t have to be unsuccessful in love?

See my advice at tip #6.

Tip #4: The problem of almost all men

I regularly receive these kind of emails from guys:

“Hey Dan,

I’ve been on 3 dates with this gorgeous woman. And they went super well.
We really clicked and she is EXACTLY my type. I went abroad for work so we stayed in touch through FaceTime – where we both said we missed each other.

But when I came back from my trip away, I had the feeling she was pulling away. And now she barely responds to my messages. How do I make her like me again?”

(Pretty specific but it still falls in the category: first she likes me, and now she is being distant. Why???)

Two things stand out about this email.

  • This woman is ‘EXACTLY’ his type, which worries me because he barely knows her.
  • He’s looking for a trick to get her approval instead of wanting to be accepted for who he is.

In short: he’s moving way too fast…

…and is now probably prepared to put his own opinions and feelings on the sidelines to tie this woman down.

How did I come to this conclusion?

Because if someone ignores your messages (like the woman from the email), it would be more logical to feel hurt and put in less effort into contacting her.

Whilst my bro wants to put more effort into contacting her.

So if you’re wondering: “Why do I have bad luck in love?” you’re probably making this mistake:

You want to be with a woman so much that you discount yourself entirely.

You after she walked over you for the 100th time.

And so I pose these two confrontational questions:

“To whom do you feel more attracted? To people who will crawl before you, or people who are not afraid to oppose you when you cross their boundaries?”

And question number #2:

“How would you call someone that will bow and scrape their forehead on the floor to make you happy?

If you’re like 99,999357% of humanity, you feel more attracted to people with standards. And you would call people who crawl and grovel ‘spineless wimps’.

It doesn’t require any explanation as to why women aren’t lining up to date wimps.

So why do we men act like wimps so much of the time?

Because we’re afraid to share our opinions and feelings in moments where it could potentially scare her off.

So we bite our tongue while hoping she will stay with us.

Which always works.

Oh, Sorry. I meant, which NEVER EVER WORKS!

Are you done with unsuccessful love?

Stay true to your opinions and feelings.

>> 9 Steps To Be The Most Charismatic & Likable Version Of Yourself

Tip #5: You’re a product of this generation

Connection is not as highly regarded as it once was.

Which isn’t that strange.

With apps like Tinder and Bumble, you have more options than ever before.

So even if you find that one super special woman. There will always be that one question gnawing in the back of your head:

“What if she’s not the best???”

This endless stream of women also reinforces the idea of entitlement.

In other words, thinking you have the right to a special treatment.

I regularly hear people say that they are looking for an ‘effortless relationship without arguments’.

Impossible, of course.

And when these people meet someone who has a minor imperfection. They view that imperfection as a reason for rejecting someone.

While we’re on the subject of hook-ups, we can talk about the 2 different types of people:

  • The person that dives into bed with every cute girl he finds and collects a harem of women.
  • The person who wants to share all his thoughts, emotions and ambitions with one woman who will gladly listen to it.

Often, the difference between these 2 types of people is simply a matter of time.

As we age, the less we value ‘meaningless’ sex and the more we crave meaningful relationships.

The older we become, the more we really want to be understood.

Although that doesn’t apply to everyone.

A minority of the men will remain in the single ‘hook-up’ phase. And are basically doomed to an eternally single life. These are the men that ask themselves: “Why am I so unlucky in love?”

Most men want to go from dating to a relationship.

How do you know which category you belong to?

You will read in the next tip.

>> How to Be More Manly – 5 Simple Hacks

Tip #6: You’re married to your ambition

The following will probably explain why you are unlucky in love.

Remember that feeling of entitlement and special treatment that afflicts a lot of people?

Some people are so stuck on their idea of privilege that they walk around with blinders on.

And only pay attention to the thing they think they’re ‘entitled’ to.

“Before I turn 30, I want…”  

  • To have had sex with 100 women
  • To have visited all the continents
  • To be famous
  • To have $1 million in my bank account
  • To have eradicated the most significant diseases

In short, these men have a list of goals stuck in their heads.

And only when they checked them all off the list are they ready for a real relationship.

The problem?

These people hardly ever reach their goals before finding the right woman.


When I talk about the ‘right woman’, I’m not talking about The One. With millions of amazing women on this good earth, I refuse to believe in that fairytale. When I say the ‘right woman’, I just mean one of the many thousands who would be a great match for you.

So, what do these men think when they meet this amazing woman?

“Fuck, she really is perfect. Too bad I haven’t had enough adventures yet and I’m not advanced enough in my career.”

So what do these men do?

They sabotage the relationship and continue working diligently on their goals.

Does this sound familiar?

Then you now know what the problem is:

You have no room for a girlfriend because you are married to your ambition.

And no, I’m not going to tell you that your priorities are messed up. That is completely up to you.

But do you want a relationship deep inside?

Be more flexible in the deadline of your ambitions, and start making room for a girlfriend.

Or… find a woman that will help you achieve your goals.

>> Find Women: From What Places to Look To Identifying Mrs. Right

Tip #7: Why you never find that perfect woman

Even though they come in small numbers, I regularly coach guys who never find anyone who is ‘girlfriend material.’

I get it.

Women you like don’t hang around on every street corner.

But if you can match hundreds of women on a dating app and still don’t find anyone you feel a click with…

…Or if you go out, night after night, and never see anyone good enough for you. I have news for you.

But first, a question.

Do you ever feel like watching a movie or a new show, but you find yourself scrolling endlessly past everything Netflix has to offer?

Then that’s a warning signal.

If you can scroll past thousands and thousands of movies and come to the conclusion: “Netflix doesn’t offer anything fun,” that then tells me more about you than it does about Netflix.

The assumption that everything is boring is based mainly on a small movie cover and a short description.

Pretty shallow. Because how well does that little cover and description represent that movie?


You’re probably doing the same thing with women.

You’re going on hundreds of dates with women and you reach your conclusion in no time:  “Nope. She’s not my type, again…”

What’s the problem here?

You’re not showing enough interest.

Because you’re not going to convince me that NONE of those women are nice.

It seems more likely that you make your judgments too soon and don’t put in any effort to get to know her.

She recognizes your lack of interest in a heartbeat, which makes her not want to invest either.

No wonder you don’t like her!

So, take the time to really get to know her.

And do you know what the fun part is?

If we are interested, they are interesting.

Test it out.

Tip #8: You finally understand the rules of the game

Back in high school, you may have been a bit of a dork.

Don’t worry, I definitely was.

All I loved to do was smoke pot and grind RPG’s.

This is me, opening up a new HP Computer.
The highlight of my life at the time.

Probably because I had no luck with women.

My seductive skills didn’t develop until years later.

Which is pretty normal for most men.

When men reach a phase in their life when everything is on track…

…their own apartment, a decently paid job, a nice lease car, etc…

…only then, most of us feel good enough to hit it off with the ladies.

Like this gentleman who had just become an official Doctor:





Almost every guy has the healthy need to have achieved a certain amount of sexual conquests.

Do you have bad luck in love?

Then maybe you have only just found out how the game is played. Or perhaps you only just started learning.

To which I say: Enjoy yourself!

Go nuts for a couple of years and spread the love like it’s the sixties.

Just be careful not to fixate yourself on the idea of a ‘lay count.’

In other words, thinking you have to sleep with X amount of women.

Being a man with X amount of sexual partners is definitely an achievement you can be a little proud of. In fact, it requires a lot of skill.

But realize that eventually, the excitement you feel during a peak experience like sex is not your end-goal.

Tip #9: You have the wrong role models

We are all copycats.

We all learn how to walk, talk and seduce from our biggest role models.

At the beginning of your life, that will be your parents and the rest of your family.

Later, when you have more freedom to shape your life, our role models tend to be fictional characters.

In our teenage years, they usually are macho guys like: John McClane, Don Draper, John Wick, Jason Bourne and James Bond

None of these characters have the best relationships with women.

John McClane, John Wick and Jason Bourne are single. James Bond has a new ‘Bond girl’ in every movie because they always seem to die in a spectacular fashion. And Don Draper sees multiple women at the same time for 7 consecutive seasons.

Even Walter White from Breaking Bad sets a bad example.

Even though Walter sells meth to save his family from bankruptcy, his crimes make him more evil and evil over time. Up until the point where he destroys the lives of every loved one around him.

No wonder so many men are afraid of commitment.

The most influential men don’t tell us how or why we should have an intimate relationship.

Are you afraid to get into a relationship?

Then you want to surround yourself with role models who are not eternally single.

>> How a Dating Coach For Men Can Help You (+ What To Watch Out For)

Tip #10: You believe in dating hocus pocus

Sometimes ideas are like magic spells.

Even though they’re not true, you still believe in them.

Here are 4 dating myths that keep the Average Andy (the average man) stuck in an unattractive mindset.

Because of this mindset they are unlucky in love and will never get a relationship.

The buffet-mentality

When you spend too much time on dating apps, you will develop the so-called ‘buffet-mentality.’

In which you will assume that everybody is shallow and isn’t looking for a meaningful relationship.

Not that strange, given that a lot of people on Tinder lose interest after just a couple of messages.

That lack of interest isn’t necessarily because women on Tinder are not looking for a  relationship.

It’s because they lose interest when they get messages without any emotion. A lot of guys send stuff like this:

Hey, how are you?

Are your messages mediocre?

Then indeed, a lot of women would lose interest because you’re clearly not ‘the one.’

Now download the Texting Toolkit with over 15 flirty copy-paste lines and tips… for free.

The right woman would even accept your ugly side

This is a tough one.

Because on the one hand I truly believe we all deserve to be with someone who accepts us for who we are.

But that does not give you a free pass to show her your ugliest side….

…and to expect your girlfriend to take all that.

If you find someone worth holding on to, then you always want to strive to be the best version of yourself.

Your partner deserves better than your worst day.

I’m never going to love anyone that much

This is an incredibly destructive mindset.

And sadly, a very common side effect of a broken heart.

If you break up with your first love, and you start dating someone else, then yes, it does feel different.

But that’s not so much because of your feelings…

…it’s more because of your need for the same treatment that you received from your ex.

In other words, you’re looking for a replacement.

And obviously, people are irreplaceable.

Therefore, stop looking for your ex in your current girlfriend.

And focus on the feelings she gives you.

Because if you pay attention, those same butterflies will come rushing back.

The right relationship should be easy

Frankly, I’m sick and tired of this myth.

I hear it so often, both with dating as well as with work.

Whether you found your dream job or your dream wife, that doesn’t mean that obstacles magically disappear.

The obstacles never disappear.

The difference with finding your dream wife is you always have the right motivation to conquer those obstacles.

Meaning, relationships will always be difficult.

Having said that…. you should understand the difference between:

Good difficult and bad difficult.

Some relationships are difficult for the wrong reasons.

  • She only brings negativity
  • She’s got you whipped
  • She is manipulative

Good difficult, on the other hand, is a positive thing.

  • She pushes you to grow
  • She’s not afraid to tell you the truth and say: “These habits aren’t good for you.”
  • She ‘nags’ you to keep you on the right path

These last few points are not an easy pill to swallow. But if you win these obstacles, all you’ll become is a better person.

Which brings me to the following.

You can wait for a woman to help you become your best self.

Or you can grab my free Transformation Kit and start today.

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  • 3 Secrets of the sexually attractive man
  • How to escape the friendzone in 5 days
  • Tons of lines you can use to seduce women
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Grab the Transformation Kit here.

Good luck.

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

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