What is Flirting? 9 Tips to Become A Professional Flirt

You’re attracted to girls.

Perhaps you are already eying a cutie.

However, the one thing stopping you is your doubt how to flirt with her.

What do you do exactly to make her like you?

What’s flirting anyway?

I’m here to save you from these torturing thoughts. You’ll get:

  • The true definition of flirting: Know finally what is truly meant by flirting
  • What is flirting with a girl? How you can excite women with your touch (and kiss them without any problems)
  • How you flirt at work without losing your job (important!)
  • How to conquer the heart of a woman you have known for a long time (even if you are neck-deep in the Friend Zone)
  • Why women have a weakness for dangerous men (and why Nice Guys finish last)
  • How you become a beast that snatches women from other jealous men
  • More on what exactly is flirting…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Warning: You may die a lonely death

Watch out, my friend.

It’s important that you don’t fool yourself. Sorry, but life isn’t fair.

Flirting is a matter of life and death.

Your genetic material is competing in a tough selection process to not be wiped out forever.

Of 300 men who take part in this merciless competition only 10-20 survive.

The rest will turn to ashes.

Are you the man in blue?

The process of female selection is merciless…

Women only sleep with a selected group of men.

No wonder that men give each other high fives when they managed to get sex.

You think I’m exaggerating?

Well, ready for a little time travel? Then step into my time machine, because we are about to travel 8,000 years into the past.

According to Melissa Wilson Sayres of the University of Arizona, the process of female selection was even more brutal back then.

In her investigations, the Y chromosome of one man could be found on 17 different X chromosomes.

What does that mean?

This means – if you simplify it – that 1 man has impregnated 17 women, while the rest of the men stood there apathetically, watching that one man going at it with envy.

This is strongly reminiscent of the Pareto Principle, which states:

80% of the results are achieved with 20% of the total effort. The remaining 20% require the most effort.”

Our dating landscape looks similar.

I have created a graphic to illustrate this 80-20 rule:

Any man could theoretically have a woman at his side, but as you can see, the distribution is anything but fair.

Why is that important?

A similar study conducted by the University of Leicester has shown that millions of men are descended from only 11 dynastic Asian leaders.

Those bastards fucked like rabbits…

Ever heard of Genghis Khan?

Thank you, Genghis, very generous…

Milder (but equally alarming) research results indicate that – again, in simple terms – only half of the men have procreated, while every woman has procreated.

>> How to Kiss Properly – from Novice to Master in 15 Tips.


You want to be in the 20%.

That’s why in this article I will show you exactly how to flirt with a woman effectively. You will know how to distinguish yourself from other men and how to awaken a longing for “more of this, please!!” in a woman.

Hold on tight and sit up straight, because your reality may be flipped upside down.

Youve been warned…

The difference between a regular conversation and a flirt

Most conversations between men and women look like Ping Pong.


Because you play the ball back and forth.

“What do you do?”

“I work in a restaurant. What about you?”

“Cool. I’m an electrician. Where are you from?”

“Originally from London and you?”

Half of my readers probably fell asleep by now. And justifiably so!

Because these conversations are more soporific than Jigglypuff’s singing…

A shame. After all, it is not difficult to make a conversation much more exciting.

Many flirt coaches advise you to tell stories about yourself that portray you as a tough alpha male.

(I apologize for their bad advice…)

Other flirt coaches say that you should let the woman talk about herself as much as possible.

(Enjoy the Friend Zone…)

Both miss the mark like a drunken archer.


Counter question: What is your goal when you flirt?

I don’t know you, but it’s probably one of these three things:

  • a COMMON relationship
  • a JOINT sexual adventure
  • a great conversation BETWEEN YOU AND HER

So the #1 best topic in flirting is the unit you form with your pretty counterpart.

That brings us to…

Tip #1: Flirt in the we-form

Use these words often:

  • We
  • Together
  • Us
  • Our
  • You and I


>> How to Get Women (Think About You Continuously) – 7 Tips.

Because this is the easiest way to avoid conversations in the soporific interview format.

You don’t just talk about yourself like a macho man, nor do you act like you are her gay best friend…

In this way you are pouring a solid foundation that is in harmony with the actual goal.

Do you want an example?

Then let’s spice up that conversation we had earlier with the power of the we-form:

“I work in a restaurant. What about you?”

“Nice! Let’s open our own bar together. Of course, this won’t be your average bar. Over my dead body! How about a Japanese karaoke bar? You greet and serve the guests, and I take care of the cocktails and sake. Have you ever had sake?“

Is this the best flirt ever?


But thats not necessary.

(Besides, you only get my best flirt phrases as a VIP member of our newsletter. Sign up for free now)

You don’t have to be the most interesting man in the world. You just have to be more interesting than her environment.


Are you afraid of a negative reaction to what you say?

I understand that, and I will explain later what you can do in that case.

Tip #2: How to flirt with your body language

Many men mean well.

They have the best intentions and approach a woman authentically.

But then they make a small but fatal mistake, which automatically causes this reaction in women:

>> Conversation With a Girl: 5 Tips for Smooth Flirts (+Examples).

What is this mistake?

You’re acting like Mr. Turtle.

And no, I don’t mean that they try to seduce women in a Ninja Turtle costume – because that would actually work well.

No, I’m talking about that posture:

Here I demonstrate the most unattractive posture a person is capable of

You will never see me like this with women (unless I kiss them).

Pro tip:

Keep your head back instead.

This way you can bring the rest of your body much closer to her without making her feel uncomfortable. One of the advantages of this is, of course, that you can touch her.

How do you do that?

Glad you asked.

Tip #3: How to touch women properly when flirting

Touch is a fundamental aspect of interpersonal communication. Every baby knows that.

However, the importance and power of touch is still grossly underestimated.

This study concluded that waitresses get tipped significantly higher when they touch their customers.

However, every baby also knows that it is unpleasant if you are touched too much or in the wrong way.

A basic rule:

The further you lean back and the more relaxed you are, the more likely you are to get away with a lot of touching without it becoming uncomfortable for a woman.

Use the back of your hand first, as I demonstrate with one of my girlfriends in this picture:

The first and foolproof step to kissing a woman: A touch with the back of the hand

As long as she doesn’t react negatively, you can slowly build up your touches. The next step could be, for example, to touch her shoulder with the palm of her hand, as one of my coach colleagues does in this picture:

>> 5 Tips to find a girlfriend and get her crazily attracted to you.

Mr. Turtle? Not at AttractionGym. Notice how much space we give women, even when we touch them

She seems to enjoy your touch, or at least not be averse to it? Perfect. Then you can come a little closer to her and touch her upper arm with the palm of your hand, just like in this picture:

Here the hips of my colleague almost touch her, but he still keeps his upper body at a distance

You give women the space they need to feel comfortable with you, but still don’t shy away from touching her more and more intimately? Then, my friend, you will be richly rewarded for your sharp flirt skills.

Enough tension. If you can get very close to her and touch her often, then you can probably kiss her. It’s no rocket science.

Tip #4: How to flirt with colleagues at work

Here, it gets a little tricky.

The more subtly and playfully you flirt at work, the better for you and her.

Your job is not the right place to practice flirting.

If you think you have to try out one of my over-the-top sexual openers at work, then I am not responsible for your unemployment.

Common sense is highly recommended here, so keep your flirting at work simple, and make use of the neurons under the top of your skull.

Fortunately, I will now tell you how you flirt at work in an attractive and not too intrusive way.

For this, I give you 3 rules and 1 technique.

The rules:

  1. Work is not the right place to try out new flirt techniques.
  2. Maybe you have read in one of my articles that speaking loudly is an effective tool to demonstrate that you don’t care what others think. Well, at work, your flirting should be kept private, so you should keep your voice down here.
  3. Flirt with all Flirting is an attitude towards life and not a technique to get women into bed

If you tease and make all your work colleagues (male, female, transgender, alien, whatever) laugh lightheartedly, you have almost nothing to fear.

The technique:

Pretend she’s the one flirting with you.

An example line for flirting at work is for example:

“Hey! You can’t look at me like that. You’re distracting me and I wanted to be productive today. ;)”

It is important that you say this with the right tone and facial expressions. It should be ultra-playful.

>> 7 Art of Flirting Myths that Keep You Lonely + How to Find Love.

Tip #5: How to flirt with a woman you already know

You’ve known her a little longer?

Or maybe you are already friends with her, and you are neck-deep in the Friend Zone.

Okay, what can you do?

You should include these 3 things more and more into your conversations between you and her:

  • Touch her more often (see tip #3)
  • Tease her more often (more about this in this article)
  • Make her aware of your intentions (verbally and/or through your body language)

There’s nothing wrong with telling her that you think she’s super dope, but you have to do it the right way.

For the record: Texting her that you fell in love with her is not the right way to go about it.

Want free masterclass on texting? In less than half an hour I take you through all the ins and outs of texting. Making you a Texting Titan.

Including tons of examples which you can simply copy to your own chat convos.

And mind-tricks to utilize on yourself while texting, so you don’t fall into the most common AND unattractive traps.

Download your texting masterclass for free here now

Tip #6: Why Charles Manson has more women than you

Have you ever heard of Charles Manson?

As the leader of a cult, he was responsible for a number of murders and… oh yes – he had a swastika tattoo on his forehead.


You’d think he was repulsive to women, right?

>> How to Tease Women – 7 Ways She Actually Likes + 11 Examples.


He married a 25-year-old woman at 80.

Now you’re probably thinking the woman is just crazy. And yes, you’d probably be right.

But the truth is: she’s not the only one.

The serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer received thousands of love letters during his time in prison.

And how many did you get?

Side note:

I don’t want you to be a bastard. This article should be anything but a motivation to become the next Hannibal Lecter.

My point is this:

Women have a weakness for men who are not afraid to show their dangerous side.

Carl Jung, undoubtedly one of the most important psychologists, once said:

“No tree can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.”

What he means by this is:

If you are always just nice and sweet and you couldn’t hurt a fly, then you pretend that you don’t have a dark side.

And with that, you would be lying to yourself, because every person has this side, whether you like it or not.

It’s not about treating people like crap. But nice guys can’t help but be nice. They don’t have the capacity to not be nice, and therefore their kindness cannot be appreciated.

This is also the story of “Beauty and the Beast” or “Tarzan”.

Both movies are about a man who is dangerous. An animal beast that the women fear at first.

The result?

Belle falls in love with Beast, and Jane falls in love with Tarzan.

But you must not forget that both, the monster in the castle and the king of the jungle, also have a soft side.

>> 10 Tips to Take Advantage of the Age Gap in Your Relationship .

Women want a beast with a heart.

In her book “Women Who Love Men Who Kill”, Sheila Isenberg has spoken to dozens of women who have had a relationship with a serial killer.

She wanted to find out what compels a woman to get involved with such a dangerous man.

She could identify two different motives:

  1. Some women wanted to achieve fame
  2. Many women claimed to have recognized the good side of the mass murderer and to have fallen in love with exactly this side.

As you can see, a healthy balance between your dangerous but also your nice and gentle nature is the secret formula to drive women crazy about you.

Since most of our readers are rather too nice, it may be that you also have to work on your “dark” side.

In that case, these are things you should do:

  • Disagree with women when you have a different opinion
  • Do not send her cute messages all day
  • Take the lead (“Come on, we’re eating at Mexicantina today!” is miles more attractive than “Where would you like to eat today?”)
  • Put on a frown (makes you look like a badass right away)
  • Speak the truth, even if it might hurt

Tip #7: Make her laugh

This is the flipside of the coin.

A woman is always laughing in your presence? Top, it’s a clear sign she likes you.

She herself will also interpret it as a sign:

“Ohh, I laugh with him all the time? I seem to like him very much…”

For this reason (and also because it clearly lifts your own mood) it is a great idea to make women laugh.

The thing is… many men are very rational.

This is not necessarily a problem, but first and foremost a gift.

It is the reason why jobs in IT, finance and mathematics are mainly held by men.

(And please stop with your feminist claims that it’s due to lack of equality.)

However, when it comes to humor, rational thinking can be a strong handicap.

If you try to be humorous in a logical way, I wish you good luck, because it is almost impossible.

Or let’s put it this way:

Stupid nonsense is more fun in a club or bar than serious, intellectual jokes.

(Side note: In the picture above my colleague was just talking about buttsex… nothing special really)

Tip #8: She reacts negatively? Do this!

You have the best of intentions, you want to tease her playfully, but your words are perceived negatively?

  • She keeps her distance.
  • She is frowning.
  • She turns away from you.

Shit, now what?

I have a mindset for you that – when used wisely – will ensure exponential growth:

>> Get Out of the Friend Zone & Into Her Lover Zone – 13 Magic Moves.

It’s better to make a mistake than to play it safe.

Flirting is the opposite of order. It is pure chaos in an even more chaotic world. So you can’t control it. But that’s what makes it so exciting!

  • Step 1: Stay cool. Conversations with 100% smoothness don’t exist.
  • Step 2: Learn how to repair conversations.

Just because you went too far once and hurt the conversation doing so, it doesn’t mean you can’t fix it.

You need a funny line that shows that you apologize – without looking like a spineless rag.


“Sorry, I was just in a cocky mood today…”

And then you add an arbitrary reason for your cocky mood. The goal is to restore the lightheartedness of the conversation.


  • “… because the weather is great.”
  • “… because I didn’t take my pills today.”
  • “… because my golden hamster is not sick anymore.”


Only use a repair kit if the woman really reacts negatively. If she simply answers coldly or neutrally, you do not need to apologize for your behavior.

Tip #9: Take action TODAY

Those were some great tips I shared with you today, right?

Now you know…

  • What is considered flirting
  • What is flirty for girls
  • And how you can flirt with girl effortlessly

But you know what?

My tips are not worth a single penny, if you don’t use them.

I know for a fact that most men, after reading this article, will leave our website with a “Cool! Thanks for the great tips, Dan!”, open porn hub, and practice foreskin acrobatics.

I hate to tell you this, but masturbating into a sock won’t get you anywhere.

I wish…

… but the reality is different.

You have to take action now, champ.

Think of the 20% that would otherwise steal the majority of the world’s most beautiful women from right under your nose, while you have to settle for the rotten rest.

No bueno…

You have to make a decision today.

What you decide is 100% up to you. I know what I would choose, but this is YOUR decision.

Of course, we are still bros, whether you are in the 80% or the 20%, but if you care about how you are perceived by women, then NOW is your time.

To join the 20%, I made the Transformation Kit for you.

A free downloadable goodie including masterclasses on the 3 pillars of attraction:

  • Conversations (online and offline)
  • Flirting (online and offline)
  • Attractive character (anywhere)

Click the link or the button below.

See you there!

Your bro,
Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
Yes, give me the Transformation Kit!

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