What Should I Say to a Girl – 17 Best ‘Tricks’ to Spark Awesome Conversations

What’s more painful than being left speechless?

The only thing you could think of was:

“What should I say?”

Maybe the conversations were quite boring, and you didn’t know what to say to make them exciting again.

Maybe you don’t even have the guts to approach a woman because you don’t know what to tell her.

Well, my friend, sit back – relax – and read on.

In this article you’ll find:

  • The trick to making her do the talking.
  • 15+ phrases that make sure you’ll never have to stress out about: “what should a say to a girl” anymore.
  • 2 screenshots that’ll point out what to say to a girl on Tinder .
  • How my first kiss was a disaster, and how that helps me (and you!) get dates now.
  • 13 Tips what to say to women.
  • What to say after ‘hey.’
  • When you shouldn’t say anything… 

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

Tip #1: What to say on a date – my disaster story

Saturday night.

Right across from a fine lady.

Your date has been going for over half an hour when the following crosses your mind for the hundredth time:

“What to say on a first date?”

Suddenly she looks at her phone and says:

“Oh gosh, I forgot I need to go to the church today to de-baptize myself, given that I do not want to be part of the catholic church anymore.”


Or her housemate can’t enter the flat because she forgot her keys and needs to enter IMMEDIATELY… because the curry she ate yesterday seems to make his comeback.

There’s nothing more humiliating than being rejected with some lousy excuses.

No worries!

Today we’ll make you man with whom she wants to talk 69 hours a day.

So that your dating-conversations keep their distance from those cozy family reunions during Christmas.

Tip #2: Turning a problem into an advantage

When did the problem what to say to a girl start?

In your childhood years, obviously.

But funnily enough, this is also where the solution lies. THIS is where you should go when talking to a lady.

The first piece of advice I would like to give you is to talk about the good ol’ days.

You can get so much from this; you could fill the entire conversation with stories about the past.

Tell her about your fondest childhood memory.

Or tell her something you found awkward at the time, but that you can laugh about now.

I’ve got this story of me losing a bet back in primary school. Because I lost, I had to kiss my crush on her lips. This was quite a big deal at that time. Half the school congregated around us in a circle and waited for the kiss in full anticipation. When she closed in for the kiss, I didn’t have the balls to make my move and walked away with a broken heart.

Such stories are perfect stories to share with your date.

Obviously, I’ll then tell it in more detail, with more excitement and gestures. But you get the idea.

Besides, you show your vulnerable side by bringing up painful stories about the past; and because it belongs to the distant past, it doesn’t make you less of a tough guy.

Quite the contrary.

Alright. Ready for more tips on what to say to women?

Tip #3: The best stories to tell? Emotional stories!

We men tend to think logically about what to say.

We think of facts and numbers and want to convey everything soberly.

“First, I did that, and this happened, then I went there, and I did this…”

A good storyteller brings about emotion in the story.

Emotion and drama.

Why’d you think ladies like to watch tv-series all the time?

All soaps are an emotional rollercoaster where in one moment, everything seems perfect and full of love, and in the other moment, the world seems to crumble, and the protagonist is at a low.

Let’s turn back to my primary school story.

I could say:

“Yeah, I lost a bet, and that’s why I had to kiss the girl I was in love with, but I didn’t have the guts to do it, and so I walked off.”

Her reply:

Pro tip:

What to say to a girl when you’re telling her a story:

Tell her how you felt at that time. What was going through your head at that time? Exaggerate the details in your story to make it even better.

Compare the previous version of my story with this version:

“I lost the bet, so I had to kiss her. But she wasn’t just a girl… this was a girl I have had a crush on for years.

In my imagination, I was kissing her all the time.

I was SO incredibly nervous; you can’t imagine. Besides, the entire school surrounded us to witness the performance. Everybody was yelling and cheering!

A kiss on the lips is about the craziest thing that can happen at that age.

While she moved in for the kiss, everybody started pushing around and cheering even louder. My heart was beating like a drum. I felt like I was going to explode.”

Her reaction now:

Stories work! (Science confirms.)

Tip #4: Talk about that time you traveled

Remember that one time you were traveling?

“Should I say that to a girl, Dan?”


Tell her about it.

Your girl rather has you enthusiastically talking about one of your travels, than about your day (at work).

Tell her about your craziest traveling experience. Or maybe the most fucked-up thing that happened to you while you were traveling.

Besides, our brain doesn’t easily distinguish between memory and what’s really happening now.

That’s precisely why our heartrate spikes during a horror movie, or your female friends shed a tear during a romantic comedy.

Precisely the reason I had to cry during Marley & Me. Not because I’m gay or something #nohomo.

Pro tip:

Preparation = key.

So why not have some extra funny sentences to say after hey?

You’ll find 17 of them here, a hidden free download with 17 example sentences to start using tonight.

You’re welcome, bro.

Tip #5: Use this trick to make HER do the heavy lifting

At the beginning of the date, you as a man, will take the lead.

You’ll talk more, while she listens.

While the date is progressing, you want her to take over the talking.

A technique to quickly make this happen is the following:

“I love watching tv-series.”

Alright, there’s a solid chance your future date will love watching tv-series.

What would Average Andy answer to this question?

“Oh yes, I love watching tv-series as well.”


“Oh, what is your favorite tv-series?”

In other words, a stupid remark or a predictable question.

What I want you to do the next time is saying the following:

“Tv-series? Tell me about them.”


“Tv-series? You got me wondering; tell me about them.”

You’re giving her a friendly-talking-order like a m0therfuc1king general.

And believe me, she will talk 😉

Now she’s leading the conversation, and the only thing you have to do is listen—no more boring interview questions.

Pro tip:

You can tease her every now and then while she’s talking about her favorite tv-series. If she claims ‘Friends’ to be the best tv-series ever, you tell her she has a bad taste, and that ‘Pretty Little Liars’ is better.

If you’re not comfortable with teasing, here’s some useful help:

>> How to Tease Women – 7 Ways She Actually Likes + 11 Examples

More tips on what to say to women coming up. Keep reading.

Tip #6: What should I say on a date?

Alright bro, I’m sure you’d like to have a couple of lines you can simply learn by heart for dates.

Well, you don’t even have to learn them by heart, you can simply follow my system what to say to a girl on a date.

Put your girl in an awkward position:

“Would you rather be invisible or have the ability to teleport?”

“Would you rather have 50 million dollars and never be able to fall in love anymore, or find the man of your dreams and forever live of an average wage?”

“Never watch tv-series and movies again, or never go to a party again?”

You give her two options, and she can only choose one.

Feel free to copy these lines or create your own that applies to her.

If you need more examples, here’s a list of 111 fun questions you can ask on a date:

>> The Only 111 Get-To-Know-You Questions for Dating You Need

Pro tip:

When she’s made her choice, ask her the why. That’ll automatically create an exciting conversation.

Tease tip:

When she’s explained to you why, try to convince her that the other option might have been better after all.

Tip #7: Make her the following compliments to score points

Got need for more useful phrases without making yourself useful?

Well, okay then.

Because you asked so nicely.

“You know what I really like about you? You have a super feminine appearance.”

“You come across very mature, yet you look young.”

“You’re doing something which I like that not many women do anymore nowadays… You’re wearing red lipstick.”

These phrases always work.


…please say them only when you mean them. If you’re going to tell her these things just to please her or because you want her to like you…

…I guarantee you it will have a reverse effect.

Women feel when you’re not sincere about what you say.

Perhaps you need to get a deeper understanding of how to compliment a girl the right way.

Here’s a full article about it:

>> Compliments for Women: #1 Guide to Make Her Melt for You

Tip #8: What to say to a girl on Tinder

I used to work in sales back in the day.

I was one of those annoying persons who approached people in the street to ask them to support some charity.

Not the best job if you’d ask me, but I did learn TONS from it.

Sales-related things, as well as game-related things.

Another thing I learned is that people often tend to THINK that they’re original, while they’re just doing exactly the same as the rest.

So, there I was, my first day rooting for WWF. When people donated a small amount of money monthly, they’d (symbolically) adopt a little panda or tiger. That way, they helped fight the extinction of these species.

An opening line we were taught was:

“Hello, sir/madam! You seem like somebody who likes animals *big smile*.”

A man walked past me and answered:

“I actually do like animals…“

Heh, I believed it to be quite a strong answer.

When I received the same reply during my second working day, it was a little less fun.

Now try and imagine how funny this reply was after working for WWF for six months…

What struck me is that everyone who used this joke had some sort of complacent smile on their faces.

Every one of them felt like they came up with some super original joke.

So, how do you use this information for what to say to a girl on Tinder for example?

Two things:

  • First and foremost, stop making easy jokes about her name, background, … Is she from Belgium? Then hold yourself from joking about Manneke Pis, beer and fries. Just like I won’t be talking about Kaaskroketten, windmills, and tulips with Dutch mademoiselles.

This sets you apart from the rest right away, who do make these mistakes. Later, suckers!

  • Let’s take it a step further. Now, you’ll use other men’s mistakes to your advantage.

Is her name ‘Jane’?


Step 1: Don’t start making Tarzan and Jane jokes here.

Step 2: You laugh at other men who DO.

A friend of mine is called ‘Yane.’ She often receives the Tarzan and Jane jokes.

Is your date called Marylin? Ask her how many fools start making Monroe jokes.

Is your Tinder match from Colombia? Keep the ridiculous Pablo Escobar jokes at home. Instead, ask her how annoying it is that so many men undoubtedly start about Escobar.

Bang bang!

This way, you show her you understand how other men think. And how it must be for her…

It’s called social intelligence.

I’d say: Use when the questions pops in your head ‘what should I say’

Tip #9: Are you too boring in your conversations? Apply this trick.

There’s a good chance you’re too kind in your conversations to the point that it gets boring.

This not only makes your conversations less exciting.

It’ll also make sure you’ll land in the friendzone at the end of the date.

Good news.

I’ve got a tip for you that’s:

  • Immediately applicable
  • Easily executable
  • Working like a charm

Stay with me, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

What do all guys that are too kind do?

They’re in a conversation with a girl, and she says something they do not entirely agree with.

So, what do they do?

They take all their personality and masculinity, take a few deep breaths, and flush it all right down the toilet.

What they really won’t do is tell her that they do not agree.

Are you mad? What if she won’t like you anymore because you do not agree with her?

Look, I’m not saying you should cut her off.

I’m saying you should stand by your own opinion and not agree with everybody all the time.

You can apply this when you’re talking about serious issues, but also for smaller things.

Is she telling you the Big Mac is McDonald’s best hamburger?

“Are you crazy? The Big Mac is the worst. The Royal Cheese is king.”

Is she telling you a latte is the way to go at the coffee shop?

“Oh, you’re one of these latte-girls. Real coffee drinkers take the espresso.”

These are just random examples. But you can apply this principle to any situation.

Pro tip:

If you’re going against the flow, make sure you do it with a smirk on your face.

You want to tease her, not annoy her.

Let’s get into the juicy stuff of what to say to women.

Tip #10: Make ‘awkward’ your wingman


This odd word never comes without entertainment.

While hanging out with your bro’s, you automatically share awkward stories.

There’s nothing quite like exchanging awkward sex stories to bond with your bro’s.

I could start with some personal examples, but this time I WON’T.

Anyway, if you run out of things to tell her, you could start telling her some awkward stories.

Pro tip:

It’s customary to take the lead as a man. If you share something awkward with her first, chances are she’ll share some of her experiences as well.

You can introduce the topic with:

“I’m going to tell you something super awkward now. Some time ago, I experienced something bizarre…”

Then tell your story.

Maybe she’ll spontaneously start talking about her personal experiences right after.

Else, you can always slightly encourage her:

“What’s the most awkward thing you’ve ever experienced during a date?”

I’m don’t know about your most awkward experience, but maybe I can put you on the ‘right’ track:

A good buddy of mine, Louis, went to his date’s house. There, he went to use the bathroom for a moment; he then realized it wasn’t just to pee. What he didn’t see coming was that the excrement he produced was large enough to make it on the list of world records.

When he later realized he had clogged the toilet, there was no way he was getting out of the bathroom anymore.

Well, there you are…

A story like this, no matter how inappropriate it might seem, can make almost any girl crack up.

Pro tip:

Are you feeling ashamed to share your awkward story? Act as if it were a good friend to whom your story concerns. Give your made-up friend a name to make your story extra trustworthy.

What you should say to women you like you’re asking? Try what’s in the next tip.

Tip #11: What should I say? Top 3 best conversation topics…

  • World of Warcraft
  • Counter-Strike
  • Hearthstone

Personally, my top 3 most-played games ever.

  • Natalie Portman
  • Ariana Grande
  • Emily Ratajkowski

Personally, not my top 3 hottest women on earth, but they’re definitely not bad.

Anyway, people love lists. There’s a list for almost anything you can imagine.

So, the next time you think: “What should I say to a girl?”, you just say:

“Your top 3 favorite bands? Go for it!”

I guarantee she’ll ask for yours after.

If you’ve got a list you like, like ‘places you’ve been,’ you can start asking her for that.

Afterward, she’ll return you the same question, and before you know it, you’re balls deep in your story about your trip to India, where you almost lost your life over some sketchy street food you ate there.

Pro tip:

For more killer topics to talk about with a girl online or offline, read this article:

>> 15 Best Topics to Talk About with a Girl (Texting/Dates/Tinder)

When worrying about what should you say, you’re probably either talking about yourself or about her.

There’s a better option.

I’ll explain what to say for example on a date in the next tip.

Tip #12: Me + You = We

Me + You = We

Or like I always say: create a ‘We-bubble.’

Guess what most people like to talk about most?

Their biggest passion?

No, the answer is not p0rn, my dear friend.

Most people are especially interested in…


What do people talk about on most dates?

The man often talks about himself, and the woman often talks about herself.

You take turns in telling stories about yourself, hoping to leave a good impression on the other.

You’re in your bubble; she’s in her bubble.

Two bubbles, slightly less cool than just ONE bubble.

What if you worked together for a change?

Next time you’re going to want to create a We-bubble.

What exactly is a We-bubble?

Simply put: it’s a story you’re both parts of.

If she tells you she’s a giant fan of hamburgers, you tell her:

“You know what… We’ll go to Burger-Restaurant-X sometime. They have the best burgers EVER there. Holy shit, you’re going to be hooked after just one visit.”

Were you playing the ‘Top 3’ game, and did you challenge her to pick her three favorite movies? Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone was one of them?

“You know what… We’ll have a Harry Potter marathon some time. Including popcorn, nachos, a chill outfit, and unlimited amounts of coffee.”

Be careful not to use this more than once or twice. It otherwise quickly loses its power. Besides, you’ll come across way too interested.

Tip #13: What to say to a girl you like (a lot)

Most guys use the most generic compliments in existence.

They’re so superficial and overused that it’s almost insulting.

The first five times your date was told she’s beautiful, she probably found it amazing.

I thought it was absolutely sick, the first couple of times, I became Merciless Gladiator in World of Warcraft, or when I reached the Legendary rank in Hearthstone. #nerdsquad

But after a couple of times, it doesn’t strike you anymore.

If you were a beautiful lady and you’re told exactly that every day… well… the compliment goes in one side and out from the other.

So, my friend, when you compliment a woman, you want to do the following:

  • Be specific
  • Be personal
  • Be original

No “Hey, I think you look good” or similar garbage.

Don’t oppose the complementing science behind this.

Does she have beautiful hair?

Tell her:

“Your hair is incredible. You remind me of someone who could do a slow-motion hair flip in some shampoo commercial anytime.”

Now I know what you’re thinking:

“Yeah, but Dan, I can’t just always make something up on the spot.”

Fair enough.

Just remember this:

“That’s a cute necklace, it goes perfectly with your cute face.”

That’s 69 times better than:

“Nice necklace.”

Alright. That’s a good start in improving our compliments.

Want to know what’s even more powerful? Complimenting her personality.

More about that later.

First, something really powerful what to say to a girl. But only if you do it right.

Tip #14: How to make all your stories exciting

Storytelling is an art in itself. You’ll receive a conversational trick from the dating expert here.

I should write at least 666 articles on this.

Maybe I’ll do that some time.

Anyway, I will share the trick with you now. Where does your story start?


You always start with a problem.

And from that problem, you start talking toward the solution.

Your story always starts with a problem and concludes in a solution.

That’ll automatically create a certain tension in your story.

This is how a legend does it, check it out:

Dwayne doesn’t simply say:

“Oh yeah, I was depressed, but when I suddenly decided to start wrestling again, everything was fine ha-ha. My pops started training me.”

He zooms in on the time where he sat home for one-month-and-a-half; he practically didn’t leave his house and pretty much wanted to die. He would’ve been a happier man already if just ONE person simply told him it was all going to be alright.

He takes you through his story and builds toward the solution of how he climbed from his depressing rabbit hole.

This way, you can also make your stories into small episodes by continuously working from problem to solution.

No for something controversial what to say to girls.

Tip #15: Talking is silver, silence is… cute.

Here I am, the biggest inspirational-quote-hater the world knows.

Or maybe just the biggest hater in general.

Guess what I’ve got for you?


A good old quote.

One that DOESN’T make me throw up.

Here we go:

“Reveal yourself slowly and only when directly asked.
When the mystery is gone, the seduction is over.”
– Somebody whose name I forgot

Unfortunately, I forgot about the source of the quote. Feel free to leave it in the comments if you’re smarter than me.

Anyway, this quote is gold.

Pure truth.

During this entire article, I’ve been giving you things to say. And these things are good. But they’ll get even better when you combine them with the following advice.

What it basically comes down to is this:

You can gab a lot. Gab all you want. Especially at the beginning of the conversation. Warm her up with your stories and make sure she’s comfortable.

But please do me a favor, DON’T talk about YOURSELF all the time.

Tip #16: One of your biggest conversational tools

Not revealing every detail about yourself makes her feel like she’s still got a lot to discover about you.

And that’s FUN.

The TENSION around you attracts a woman.

Have a guess what causes this sexual tension:


As it says in the quote:

Try to survive a date WITHOUT talking about yourself.

You answer questions about yourself only when she specifically asks you for it.

As short and accurate as possible.

Her asking you what you studied in the past is NOT an invitation to start talking about:

  • Your primary school
  • Kindergarten
  • Secondary school
  • College
  • Language excursions you might have made
  • Summer school
  • Additional books you read that have made you a wiser person

No sir.

Just saying ‘IT’ is sufficient.

With that being said. It’s time for the last tip on what you should say to women.

Tip #17: Possibly the most important tip what to say to a girl

You just gained 500 tons of information.

Next time “what should I say to her?” crosses your mind; you know what to do.

Make sure you don’t toss these sentences to her like a robot.

Only tell her what feels right at the moment and what suits you.

Think for yourself.

These sentences will help you, yet they’re only a thin layer of the seduction process.

If you want to master the deeper layers of the seduction process…

…then pick up my free Transformation Kit.

It’ll be yours straight away by simply clicking right here.

Read through it when you feel like it, you’ll feel the attraction increase.

See you in the next one, bro!

Your bro,

Dan de Ram

Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

My free Transformation Kit will make you irresistible to women.

  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
  • The Friendzone Escape-Room Trick
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