There’s a lucky lady you’re interested in.
Maybe you know her from campus or work…
Or you’ve just seen her walk by at your gym or neighborhood.
One thing’s sure: you know you want to date her.
But what do you say to a girl you want to date?
Well, read up! Because in this article I’ll show you:
- 6 Tips that make talking to the girl you like easy
- 7 things you can say today to turn your conversations into dates
- How you can set yourself apart from all other men with the right mindset
- 3 techniques to guide your online conversations with women to success
- How you can take her out spontaneously on an instant date
- Much more to say to a girl you want to date…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: What NOT to say to a girl you want to date
I think we all know the following scenario all too well.
Imagine you are back in high school again…
Surrounded by friends, shitty teachers, and, of course, your high school crush.
Sure as hell you wanted to date her!
So whenever she’s around, you put your best foot forward…
Sitting next to her in class, doing homework together…
Saying the things that she wanted to hear, hoping she’d notice you.
Months go by, carefully building up to the moment you find the balls to ask her out.
Then she politely says:
Just when you thought you were on the right track, she banishes you down the path deep into the friendzone.
But wait for it…
You actually chose that path yourself months back.
It’s the result of your own doing – or better yet, lack of doing.
Because you didn’t take any initiative to make a move on her.
No teasing, no flirting…
You waited around until something would magically happen.
As if in one moment to the next, she’ll be madly in love with you. Sparks suddenly flying and people around you start clapping, dancing, and burst into song.
Erm… no buddy. Life isn’t High School Musical.
So what has these high school memories taught us (apart from making badass dioramas)?
Well, it should have taught you that you needed to man up!
The reason why she sees you as a friend is because you acted like a friend.
You didn’t show her your true intention and kept your romantic interest hidden behind your friendly charade.
Instead, you want to put yourself out there by teasing and flirting with her.
So drop the charade and show you are interested in her by saying the right things…
And what those exactly are, I’ll get to in a bit.
Can’t wait to get started seducing your crush? Then check out my free Transformation Kit for 12 lines that hook.
Tip #2: Why you are saying the wrong things
Before we get to the goodies…
You need to understand WHY you’re making this mistake.
Because you know you want to date her, yet you play the Waiting Game. And with that, she’s holding all the cards.
What do I mean with that?
Most men face one or more of these issues:
- You have the WRONG idea that you need to impress her.
- You have no other options.
- You find one woman too important (AKA pedestalizing).
- You are afraid to get rejected.
And I could go on…
So, what’s the reason for your silly ass behavior?
You might not like to hear this…
But underneath the surface there’s probably a couple of ‘em. So, take a moment and reflect on your patterns with women.
These faulty mindsets are nasty and will crumble your chances with her before you’ve even spoken to her.
Want to kiss the friendzone goodbye forever? Then check out my article on how to get out of the friendzone once and for all.
Look, all of these issues boil down to one thing.
They will manifest themselves in your relationship towards her.
They’re reflected in your interactions, your behavior, the things you say to her, the way you say it – all of it.
Basically, they largely determine the way you position yourself towards her.
Pretty toxic stuff for your interactions with her.
And on top of that, if you simply just don’t know what to say to a woman you want to date…
BIG chance you’ll find yourself being the friendly friend and as far away from a date with the missus as Mr. Forrest Gump himself.
So before I show you what to say to a girl you want to date…
You need to shake off this toxic perception and get your mindset right.
Let’s get to it, in the next tip.
Tip #3: The right mindset to talk to a girl you like
No doubt you’ve heard this before. And not without reason, ‘cuz this adage contains a bullet of truth.
A large part of how we communicate is in between the lines.
Straight up, I could give you some sweet words to say to a girl you want to date. But sweet words won’t cut it if they don’t match your mindset.
Better yet, your mindset is far more important than saying the “right” things…
Great question, my dear reader.
It starts with rethinking your relationship with women. Let’s reframe your situation, what if:
- You don’t focus on impressing her
- You have plenty of other options
- You don’t solely focus on one woman
- And you put rejection into perspective
We’ll take that last one under the loop and see how it would look like.
Suppose you flirt with her. This puts her in the position to find out whether she likes you or not.
If she likes you – great.
And if she doesn’t, see it as something positive. Big chance then that it wouldn’t have worked between you two anyway…
So instead of seeing rejection as the end of the world, you want to put things in perspective and realize your self-worth.
Something that helps a great deal with that is to pursue your goal in life.
Having something larger and more important than yourself to focus on will help you to see your relationship with women in a different light.
Because when you put your all into your goal, you no longer place the focus on the women around you.
And what happens then?
She’ll feel less pressure from you. In fact, you become more attractive to her.
Because she knows you have your goal in mind, and she’s only happy to join you on the ride.
The ride being your journey of course, not just the sexy times…
And now, with this mindset now planted in your brain…
I think it’s about time I show you what to say to a girl you want to date.
Tip #4: Start saying these 7 things to your crush TODAY
Without any further ado, here are 4 things you can say today to the girl you want to date.
Making your intentions clear
When talking with her, she needs to understand what your intention is.
Don’t leave her guessing why you’re there but show that you’re interested in her.
Failing to do this means she’ll make the decision for you. And that’s usually not the one you want..
Yet don’t confuse making your intentions clear with just blurting them out or throwing them on the table.
Without nuance, she’ll think you’re joking or just plain weird like Borat.
Although it’s so much more than that alone…
Flirting is the nuance you’re looking for.
It’s the key to making your intentions clear in a smooth way.
You could playfully hint at going on a date together:
Or tease her by accusing her of hitting on you:
Just make sure to say it with a big smile and don’t be too serious about it.
For more on flirting, check out this article: How to flirt with women – the 4 Awkward-free ways.
Actually asking her
What makes a good salesman?
It’s the most often overlooked quality, to close the deal.
Uncanny how well it applies to dating as well.
Most men think it’s enough to just hint at the date by flirting…
They eventually fail or forget to pull the trigger by actually asking her.
So take initiative and simply propose the date to her:
Make it straightforward and clear that you’re not interested in meeting her as a friend.
Simple as that, no need to overcomplicate.
Getting her number
While it may seem like an obvious move to make, I see getting her number as a second resort.
Because ideally, you don’t want to hide behind a screen when talking to the girl you want to date.
That said, dating nowadays is inseparable from online and texting. And sometimes getting her digits is simply your next step in your advances…
In any case, you need to show her your intent on why you want her number…
Not to be her friend but to show you’re interested in her and want to plan the date.
Check out this article if you want 5 clever ways to get a girl’s phone number (without being creepy)
Got her number or Insta? Nice.
Scroll ahead for that good-good to improve your text game.
Tip #5: How to talk to the girl you want to date online
So you got her number, messenger, Insta… now what?
Wait three days before texting her like Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother?
Dump that 3-day rule right in the bin and override your memory with these three golden rules:
Use it as a vehicle
It’s tempting to lose yourself in your online conversation with her.
Something we want to avoid at all costs…
Because what would you rather do:
Hours of friendly chitchat on your phone with no clear intention…
Or actually taking her out on a date where you interact, cuddle and kiss.
That’s what I thought.
You want to see texting with her as a medium for planning the date. Merely the instrument you use to set up your date.
Of course, you never want to pressure her into a date too quickly…
But my point is, that your online contact should not replace your actual contact.
So see it as the appetizer to the main course, and you’ll be sure to stay clear from getting sucked into the texting whirlpool.
Spike her emotions
A BIG mistake for most men: boring her to sleep with lame texts…
Lame chats like these work as a bad omen for every woman.
That’s why you want to flirt in your chat, tease her and get personal. Show your interest in a subtle way and even challenge her a bit.
In short, you want to spike her emotions.
One clever way is to turn her own texts into something flirty:
Also, see the lack of emojis? Leaving these and ‘haha’ out of your texts will make your flirting 10x stronger.
Feeling lost in the world of digital flirting? Wisen up your knowledge with this article and get my 10 commandments of online dating.
What makes a good salesman?
Surprised to see it again? Well, my dear reader, things do go in cycles.
Also when you’re texting, you need to close the deal.
So how do you secure the date via text?
The trick here is to propose the date right after the emotional peak. Simply put, you want to use the emotional momentum of your convo.
Could be after you crack her up with a bad joke or when she responds excitedly about something you have in common:
Proposing the date right at this peak will feel more natural and genuine. She’ll be emotionally invested by the good vibes and more likely to say yes.
Give her a specific time and place or activity so you avoid flaky or vague commitments.
Tip #6: What to say to a girl to go on a date instantly
What if I told you, you can skip texting altogether and go on a date with her right away, on the same day.
Yep, it’s for real. You can talk to the girl you like and take her out in the next instant.
Welcome to the world of instant dates.
Let’s take an example:
After class, or work, or just after leaving the subway, you find yourself chatting to the girl you like. You seem to hit it off. Cool. Then it turns out she has nowhere to be when you ask her about her plans later…
Here, you could go for her number. But wait, she hasn’t got anything on, remember?
Well, drag her to the nearest coffee shop!
I mean, invite her to grab a coffee.
(Or go for a walk, chill in the park or go shopping…)
Just don’t ask it, but propose it casually as if it’s the most normal thing in the world:
Let it appear to be short and easy-going, although an hour long isn’t uncommon…
Keep it light-hearted and prepare yourself to lead her to your instant date.
Just beware: this approach can also bring you dangerously close to the Friendzone border if you fail to make your intention crystal clear.
Talking to the girl you want to date
Now you’ve got the right tools, it’s time for action.
And this is BY FAR the most crucial thing you’ll read today…
Because here you have the choice of how you will continue to live your life:
Either you continue down the path of missed chances and friendzones, seeing the girls you want to date fall in love with the wrong guys…
You choose to quit fooling around and start talking to the girls you want to date, making your friends jealous with the number of dates you score.
It all depends on whether you follow through.
Now comes the time where you need to actually DO it. Talk to that girl you like. Next time you see your crush, flirt with her. Ask her out on a date.
No more excuses. Because now you know what to say to a girl you want to date.
And only for these dedicated men…
You can find another 33 ready-to-use lines for talking to your crush in my free Transformation Kit.
Dan de Ram