You got through your first date with flying colors.
(Of course, only because you were A1 prepared for it thanks to this step-by-step dating guide.)
You both had a great time.
And there’s one thing you’re sure of:
You want to see her again, and you need to let her know that.
But how the hell do you manage doing that without f*cking it up?
How do you inspire her to want to see you again too?
Grab a notepad and your favorite pencil, because today you’ll learn:
- 3 Tips to send a captivating message after the first date
- The 3 deadliest texting sins that catapult men into the friendzone every day (learn from their mistakes…)
- What to text after a date? Two proven text formats that make you stand out effortlessly from the mass of average dudes
- The perfect texting timing revealed: Create massive attraction between you two
- How to text after the first date: 23+ effective texts that you can shamelessly copy from me to keep your conversation going
- And many more texting tips for guys…
By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?
You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.
Tip #1: What NOT to text after the first date
If your first date was phenomenal and you plan on seeing your señorita a second time, you want at all costs…
… to prevent turning her off with bad messages.
I’ve seen clueless guys ruin their chances for a second date countless times by sending terrible texts.
They send messages that reduce their overall attraction to a minimum at lightening speed.
(If the metaphor isn’t yet clear enough for you: A thunderbolt can travel at about 300 kilometers per second…)
One of the most FATAL messages you can send her, I got from one of our “competitors”—”dating coach” who is firmly convinced that his message will make any woman “wet”.
My stomach tightens up when I see what “tips” some of our “competitors” give…
But, hey, maybe I can minimize the damage they do to clueless men.
By sharing some of their third-class texts in this article and warning you NOT to use them.
Ready for it?
Here comes the first one:
Pooh…I can feel the cringe running through my veins as I read this text.
I don’t think I have to explain to you why this text is so bad…
But, just to be sure, I’ll do it anyway.
As a guy, you might be happy about such a message (especially if your date is hot).
Now, imagine yourself in a woman’s shoes.
Yes, you had a refreshing conversation. Maybe you now know what your rendezvous is studying, maybe you talked about your families, philosophized about your dream destinations, or exchanged stories about how much you love to feed Tibetan mountain goats at the petting zoo…
And before you knew it, it got late and you had to go home.
When you come home exhausted and lie down in your bed, a message suddenly pops up in which your date – out of nowhere – tells you how he’s imagines how hot you might look naked.
Even if you know that there’s a compliment behind this text, you can’t help but feel a little betrayed (if you still don’t understand why, read on…)
Does that mean this message can NEVER “work”?
However, the context in which men use such messages is often not appropriate.
Do you both feel deeply connected to each other? You’ve already had great sex, and she already understands that you’re a socially intelligent malaka?
If so, you’ll get off lightly with a text like that.
However, in many cases, your relationship with each other isn’t there yet (especially after the first date), and you just look like a retarded chimpanzee with down syndrome when you send such a message.
For one thing, it is sub-communicating a lack of emotional intelligence.
And, secondly, you set a FULLY different tone with this than the “sophisticated” tone that you carefully cultivated during your date. You seem incongruent.
It’s as if you only pulled yourself together on the date to confess later that her body was driving you crazy all along.
Your date will feel betrayed – as if you’d been fooling her with your previous rather deep conversation.
So, EVERY time, before you shoot your “after-date-message”, ask yourself:
- Does your text make sense out of the context of your rendezvous? (Did you get closer emotionally and physically so that you could text something so direct?)
- Is there a mismatch between your behavior on your date and the undertone of your text?
This way it’s almost impossible to be incongruent via chat.
Let’s look at two more such glorious messages:
There’s only one kind of guy who texts like that.
He acts like this:
Watch this video twice, and feel how the cringe makes your guts stew. Remember this feeling forever…
This is what she will feel if you send her a text that’s far too sexual, corny, or needy, when your date was neither sexual nor romantic.
But enough cringe for today.
Let’s see how you can text your lady something that will put a smile on her lips and secure you a second date.
Tip #2: Two bulletproof texts to win her heart
If you’ve clicked on this article, chances are you want to know, among other things, how you can let her know that you found your date bueno without sounding like a doofus.
You don’t want to come across as either too interested nor too uninterested.
But how do you manage this?
Well, by doing this:
- Copy one of my text formats
- Adjust the gaps to fit your date
- Enjoy the reaction
Text format #1:
Suppose you were on a date with Dana and went bowling together. Then, your text could look something like this:
As you can see “[insert here what you did together]” was bowling. But why don’t we make it a little more visual by adding some details.
Want some examples?
“I really had fun…
- sinking those strikes”
- trying in vain to sink strikes”
- trying to impress you by lifting the heaviest bowling balls.”
As you can see, humor and self-irony are the main components of this message; the latter, in particular, is a characteristic that shows strong self-confidence (which only makes you more attractive in the eyes of your date).
My second example is a little longer, because you’ll be paying her a compliment…. And that’s exactly the point where you should be careful.
Thanking a woman for a date is a relatively noble act.
However, you must be aware of the following:
A woman doesn’t necessarily want a man who is grateful for her time and energy.
She prefers a man who makes her feel APPRECIATED. If she feels appreciated, she wants to invest her time and energy in you.
I know, it’s subtle, but there is a difference. “Gratitude” and “appreciation” are not the same thing.
Appreciation implies that you’re a man of high value and that you value her company.
Gratitude, on the other hand, may imply that you consider yourself lucky to have a woman of her caliber go out with you at all.
The former indicates an equality of value between you, while the latter tends to sub communicate that she’s of higher value than you and that you are simply grateful that she’s willing to go out with you.
When you understand this difference and live by it, the relationships you have with women become much healthier, which brings me to my next pro tip…
Pro tip #2:
When you compliment a beautiful woman, be aware that she isn’t compulsively looking for flattery on her appearance. There are dozens of guys out there who do that for you.
Instead, compliment her on her behavior.
She was pretty much born with her looks (if we leave out her sense of style and makeup). Her character traits and passions are things she can proactively influence.
Look at this example from one of our coaches:
Text format #2:
The “PS” about not reporting him to the police is an inside joke between the two of them.
Our coach told his date a story about a crazy adventure he had.
What do you think she’d appreciate more? Compliments on how vividly she can tell stories followed by details that show that he actually LISTENED to her…
…OR compliments like this:
The second message sub-communicates:
So, don’t be an idiot, and feel free to use my text formats as inspiration for your dates.
But, make sure you give sincere compliments. Women can smell bull$hit that you just pull out of your a$s to please them from miles away.
Tip #3: Text her at THIS time after the date
So, you had your first date, and you want to text her. Thanks to the two text formats I gave you in the previous tip, you already know what to text a girl after a first date…
But WHEN should you text her? Like, the next day?
Assuming you had a coffee date with her at 4:00, when would you text her?
Let me give you five options:
- Right after your rendezvous
- 3 to 4 hours later
- 5 to 6 hours later
- 12 to 14 hours later
- 24 to 48 hours later
Alright, you’ve decided on one option?
Here’s the biggest mistake you can make:
Sending her a kitschy text right after your date.
- STOP. MISSION ABORT. MISSION ABORT!!
Imagine how much such a demanding lady would unsettle you.
Don’t get me wrong. Messages like this CAN be cute when you’re in love with each other and just going through the “rosy-in-love-phase”.
However, if this was your first date, avoid anything like this; you don’t want to come across as a needy milksop.
I usually choose option “2” (3 to 4 hours later) for my dates. In this scenario (coffee date at 04:00), I would probably choose option “3” (5 to 6 hours later).
Option 2 allows you both to have some breathing room and some time to process your date.
Option 3 would involve texting her late at night when she’s in bed.
Now you’ll find out what that means for your date…
Imagine YOU went on a date and didn’t hear anything from your lady afterward.
You’d start to wonder why she’s acting this way. Did you f*ck something up?
You’d start replaying your date over and over in your head…
… damn… you really enjoyed your time together.
And, then, when you crawl into bed, it happens…
It’s a text. And it’s from her:
That would feel EXCELLENT, wouldn’t it? Especially if you haven’t heard from her for hours and you’ve already panicked a bit.
Your delay will give you the same effect.
The lesson here shouldn’t be that you should calculate with mathematical precision when to text your dates.
No. Absolutely not.
Rather, it’s that busy men are more attractive than guys whose sole purpose in life is to text their flame 24/7 and respond to every text in milliseconds.
If you let several hours pass, it’ll seem as if you have a life full of adventure.
But instead of pretending that you’ve got a lot happening in your life, you should work on actually adding more spice to your life.
If you have other hobbies besides your school/uni/ job (or whatever the hell it is you do) that you’re passionate about or a fantastic circle of friends with whom you often travel or go out…
… then your post-date text will tend to happen later AUTOMATICALLY.
After all, you’ve got a lot to do.
That makes sense, doesn’t it?
By the way, if you’re still having trouble improving your quality of life, read this article that I’ve written for you:
The gift of the dating gods to you
Alright, alright, alright, bro.
You’re now perfectly equipped to tackle your “What should I text after a first date?” dilemma.
You know WHAT to text her and WHEN to do it.
I’ve even created a texting kit to help you along further. And continue texting until you’ve set up the second date.
I’m going to let you cheat by sending you 23+ copy-paste examples from which thousands of our newsletter readers already benefit.
Having interesting conversations should be a breeze after you read this document.
But that isn’t all.
It is all part of a complete and free Transformation Kit.
Filled with my best advice on dating. Online and offline.
Yes, I also help you escaping the treacherous friendzone.
Thank me later.
And I’ll see you on the bright side.
Dan de Ram