What Women Want in Bed: 10 Ways to Be Her Sex God

“I f***ed the shiat out of her, mate!”

“Mother of God, that was epic sex, I tell ya.”

“I just grab them by the pussy.”

Expressions Monsieur Trump would call “locker room talk”.

Men like to talk about sex, but they rarely exchange details.

Which means…

Most men have no clue how to actually satisfy a woman in bed.

What you get:

  • 10 things women want in bed and how you give them what they need
  • Women exposed: How long they want a man to last in bed
  • The darkest female fantasies and how you can use them to give them mind-blowing orgasms (almost nobody does this)
  • How to please a woman in bed until she begs you to finally make her come
  • And much more…

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

The Naked Truth: How to please a woman in bed

As long as someone mentions a meat scepter getting rammed into a hole like a machine drill, most men tend to be happy about the story…

Rarely will you hear a guy say:

“I softly caressed her nipples and kissed her neck.”

“I slowly entered her. Deeper and deeper. Then I stopped moving for a while, just to surprise her with a sudden stroke.”

“I licked her clit and kept her on the verge of orgasm for as long as possible.”

The result?

Most men have no clue what women actually want in bed.

But it is time to grow up, maddafakka!

Am I saying you should stop talking shamelessly about sex?

Hell no!

But when you do some locker room talk, I want you to do it properly. 😉

Many guys could profit from your sex tips. And today you profit from mine…


Tip #1: Trust

Let me introduce you to two dentists: Dr. Trashcan and Dr. Goodman.

Both of them are looking at your infected tooth.

Dr. Trashcan says:

“Ehmmm… I believe your tooth is infected, but let me check my manual. How would you feel if I prescribed you some antibiotics?”

Dr. Goodman says:

“What we have here is clearly an inflammation around your dens molaris. I’m prescribing you some antibiotics.”

Which Doc would you trust more?

The answer should be clear.

Trust is vital when it comes to what women want in bed.

Only when she trusts you, can she let herself fall into deep pleasure.

Do you really think she can trust you when you ask her every two minutes what to do next?

Or when you ask her carefully whether you can lick her, instead of confidently going for it?

Don’t get me wrong: questions can be an effective way for you to find out how to optimally stimulate each other.

But in most cases you take her out of the magic of the moment.

Suddenly she is all stuck in her own head, which is all wrong for sexual arousal.

Women don’t like Dr. Trashcan in bed.

They want a man who…

  • Is experimental
  • Can read nonverbal signals
  • Notices when she loves something
  • Notices when she dislikes something
  • Can build on the good stuff
  • Knows exactly what he’s doing

Only then they can trust him wholeheartedly and switch off their brains to get into orgasmic states.

Tip #2: What women want in bed – Foreplay

”The male belongs to Yang. Yang’s peculiarity is that he is easily aroused. But also, he easily retreats.
The female belongs to Yin. Yin’s peculiarity is that she is slow to be aroused. But also slow to be satiated.”

– Master Wu Hsien

Love him or hate him, but this man is spitting straight facts.

Every quote mentioning Yin and Yang is automatically 100% accurate.

Ok, kidding.

But what is meant here? What is this wise fellow trying to tell us about what women like in bed?

A man’s sexual arousal is like fire.

As soon as fire lights up it gets hot. When it comes down to it, a man can be ready for wild sex within a minute. However, as soon as the fire goes out, all the heat is gone.

Women are more like water.

To heat it up you have to invest a lot of energy. Once it is boiling, however, it stays hot for quite a while before it cools down slowly.

You can heat up the water through foreplay.

Because men get heated up quickly, they tend to make foreplay quick or even skip it entirely.

The consequence?

Sex is disappointing… for the women.

How long should foreplay take?

You can’t put a finger on it.

Sometimes it is hot as fu#* to just rip each other’s clothes off and start right away.

Sometimes, however, it can be wonderful to take a looong time.

As a rule of thumb I recommend 20 minutes.

I summed up the results of this research:

Women Men
desirably 18.93 min 18.10 min
actually 11.25 min 13.35 min
desirably 14.34 min 18.45 min
actually 7.03 min 7.86 min

As you can see, women want foreplay to be longer than the actual deed.

A lot of men seem to aim for long-lasting foreplay, too. Nice! But being the best in bed for her requires more.

Next time you’re in bed with a woman:

Slooow dooown.

That leads to better sex for both of you.

And that’s how we get to…

Tip #3: Sexual endurance

”How long should a guy last in bed?”

That’s what I asked a bunch of women for a Youtube video.

I received shocking answers to what women like in bed:

  • “Anything between 1 and 2 hours.”
  • “At least 1 hour.”
  • “30 minutes.”
  • “Don’t waste my time if it’s not at least 40 minutes.”

Crazy when you keep in mind men last (according to the research above) only 8 minutes (I found plenty of publications mentioning 5 minutes as well…)

But how can you manage to last longer without losing your beloved boner?

There are plenty of things you can do.

Most importantly, you want to have the right mindset.

Performance pressure has no business in bed!

The thought “I desperately want her to come… I hope I don’t ejaculate too quickly…” leads to…

You guessed it: you nuttin’ all over the place…

Sex is neither a performance nor a race.

There is no goal (except when you want to create a baby). It’s about PURE PLEASURE. So you can take all the time in the world.

Close to ejaculation? Don’t panic. Just take your wiener out and go back to kissing until you are good to go again.

Repeat this process as often as you like.

Other things you can try:

  • Train your PC muscle
  • Make sure to breathe in a calm and relaxed way
  • There are condoms that can numb your penis – try them out
  • Learn to be ridiculously good with your fingers and tongue – women are going to love you for it

Tip #4: How to be better in bed for her – Variation

This is a big one about what girls like in bed.

There is a Chinese proverb that goes like: „物極必反“

Do you get it?

No? Tzzz… Do I have to explain everything?


Translated it means something like: “Too much good shit turns into bad shit.”

That’s certainly true when it comes to sex.

I once bought myself a bondage set. The girlfriend I had back then loved every second when I played around with it for the first time.

The second time she had the most intense orgasm so far.

I thought I would never have sex any other way.

But then it lost its magic more and more…

Does your sex always look like this:

Caressing, kissing, taking your shirt off, kissing, taking her bra off, kissing, taking each other’s pants off, kissing, taking her panties off, missionary her all the way through, feeding the condom, sleeping?

Then stop this madness immediately.

Because it’s not what women want in bed. It’s how the average guy does it every time.


Make sure there is variety. And never forget: 物極必反, maddafakka!

She already knows the Average Joe Method. She knows what’s coming.

She can predict every step and therefore there is no exciting unknown.

Predictability is the source of boredom.

When you spice up your sex life constantly with new ingredients, it stays fresh and stimulating. That’s especially important in long-lasting relationships.

Sometimes you want to give her very dominant sex. Then, at times, you want to give her very romantic sex. Sometimes you want to have long foreplay, and sometimes you want to skip it. You’ll be soft and gentle some days and on other days you’ll be so rough that she still feels it the next day.

That way, sex with you will always be an exciting adventure.

Tip #5: Don’t just stimulate the body

Sex is being replaced by modern technology.

Artificial vaginas with squirt feature. Dildos with ejaculation function. Virtual reality porn…

Whatever pumps blood into your penis – you can be sure you can achieve it without the presence of an actual woman.

There are only two philosophical questions worth asking:

  1. What is the meaning of life?
  2. Why do we even have sex?

The answer to the second one is not that obvious.

Yes, we might want to reproduce. Maybe you want to repopulate the world after a global zombie apocalypse…

But why do we have sex even when the thought of children disgusts us?

There is an interhuman dimension that goes far beyond physical stimulation.

Sex with physical stimulation only is not sex – it just drive satisfaction.

It’s like eating the peel instead of the actual banana.

Yes, physical stimulation is important, but the key to mind-bending sex lies within the stimulation of thought.

Many men treat sex like science.

They research legendary sex practices, study erogenous zones like a book and can name the 20 most important Kamasutra positions while sleeping.

“You have to put your finger into her punani 1.5 inches deep and then you have to make a ‘come here’ motion in a 45° angle yada yada yada.”

The result? Women feel like they are visiting a gynecologist instead of practicing the art of love. This is not how to please woman in bed.

I always say:

The moment you fuck her mind, her pussy belongs to you.

By that I mean you should put way more emphasis on psychological stimulation.

It’s not only what women like in bed, but also what women want out of bed.

You do this by:

  • Dirty Talk
  • Creating sexual tension
  • Fantasies

Now, I know dirty talk can be tricky at first. Guess what? I wrote an entire article about it to baby-step your way to become masterful at it. Check it out:

>> Want To Turn Her On? Try These 9 Dirty Talk Phrases and Tips

Tip #6: How to turn on a girl – Fantasies

Men who don’t know women well, are always shocked when they are confronted with female fantasies.

Almost daily a woman pictures a dominant man walking in, undressing her roughly and bending her over to take her from behind, before she can even protest against it…

Sounds like rape, doesn’t it?

That’s right. Rape fantasies are not uncommon among women.

Research has shown that 62% of girls have had a rape fantasy.

Business leaders, nuns and even feminists who delivered speeches about sexual abuse 5 minutes ago…

Obviously they are never going to admit it to you, but this is where I come in.

Sex coach Canessa del Rae says the deep desire to feel male strength is responsible for these type of fantasies.

I don’t think I have to tell you how bad of an idea it is to actually rape a woman – you already know that.

If not, fuck off.

However – there is nothing wrong with adding some sort of dominance in bed.

It is important to not judge women for these fantasies.

Let’s be honest: We all fantasize about things no one should ask us about…

And you can make use of the fantasies that turn her on and pull her into a completely different reality.

Fantasies are an advanced method to introduce variation and psychological stimulation into your sex life.

Obviously there are good ways and bad ways of doing that.

Timing is key.

You’ll fail miserably when you introduce a fantasy when she is not sexually turned on.

Her logical brain will interfere.

Even if she is open for it, it’s not ideal.

There is a better way.

Lead her to bed and make her hot. As soon as she starts moaning and gets wet, you start planting the first thought of the fantasy you want to try out into her brain.

If she, you or – ideally – both of you are into public sex, for example, you can say:

“We are so hot together, baby. If someone would be watching us right now…”

Maybe you are scared that she will jump up and say: “No, I wouldn’t like that at all!”

But that has never happened to me so far.

Usually women are, when aroused, quite open to experimenting.

You realize she is starting to dig your words? Perfect. Then you can build on them.

There are numerous fantasies women like in bed. For example:

  • Rape fantasies
  • Virgin fantasies
  • “What we are doing is wrong” fantasies
  • Public sex fantasies
  • Master-slave fantasies
  • Threesome fantasies

There is the possibility that a woman doesn’t like the fantasy you introduce. It is YOUR JOB to find out which fantasies turn her on the most (and which don’t).

Tip #7: Tease to please

“You are so mean… Uhhh Mmmmh”
– pretty much every woman I sleep with

As a man it can be a challenge to retain self-control and tease a woman (especially when she says things like “please fuck me already!”).

However it’s something women want in bed.

Sex is 10 times more fun when you push the brake and don’t give her what she wants.

First of all nobody ever does this, and second of all it creates a deep desire for more.

Often she will ask you to keep going. Sometimes even beg you. Or pull you closer with her arms and legs.

Do you want to give her what she wants?

Or do you want to make her even more wet?

When you are down to try option 2, you should tease her a bit more.


  • Let the tip of your cock glide over the lips of her pussy, without putting it in
  • Put it in, take it out and say: “No, I don’t think you are ready for this”
  • Pull her top up, kiss her nipples and pull it back down again
  • Kiss her down from her neck to her belly and even lower… until you stop right in front of her pussy
  • Only go in half-way and say: “how much would you love to feel the entire length of my cock right now?”

Teasing should be seen as a volume knob.

You turn the volume (= her level of arousal) up and, right before she reaches orgasm, you turn it back down.

Just make sure you don’t turn it down completely.

That way, you push her over the edge until she can’t wait to finally orgasm for you.

Need a deeper understanding of how to make women horny?

I wrote an entire article about it. Check it out:

>> 7 Tips to Make Women So Horny They Booty Call YOU

Tip #8: You can pretty much turn her on everywhere

You think you can only stimulate her by licking her nipples, caressing her clit or penetrating her vagina?

You are wrong.

Her whole body is one sexual organ.

Theoretically, she can experience pleasure at every spot (please don’t see this as an invitation to put your finger into her nose, but hey, if that’s your shtick, I won’t judge).

Every woman responds differently to every spot.

You can kiss these spots, suck on them, lick them, caress them, bite them, pinch them…

But that’s not all:

  • Use a feather to stimulate these spots very gently
  • Blow on them or let certain spots feel your breath
  • Use ice cubes to stimulate her with cold

Use these things and shower her whole body with pleasure.

Tip #9: She’s not an object

When you only desire her before and after sexual intercourse, you shoot yourself in the foot.

She also wants to be desired AFTER sex.

In relationships that’s obviously more important, but even if you don’t plan to ever see her again…

Women are not cars.

You are super psyched about driving your Ford Mustang GT and you enjoy every second of it, but when you are done…

… you shut the door and leave.


A woman wants to enjoy you after the ride as well.


  • Caress her after sex
  • Talk about (semi-)personal stuff
  • Kiss her body softly
  • Tell her how hot it was (if it was hot)

When you do these things she will remember you positively…

And the door of the Mustang opens automatically for you next time. 😉

Tip #10: Mind-blowing orgasms

When you ask what women want in bed, “amazing orgasms” is an obvious answer.

Let’s be honest here: It’s not always easy to make a woman come.

According to a survey (25.000 men and women were asked), only every fourth single woman claims to orgasm during sex.

Simplified that means:

Three guys are desperately trying to please her while only one fucks her like a Rockstar.

You want to be that Rockstar?

I have a cheat code for you:

Sex toys.

It might be cheating, but women certainly don’t think so.

Last week one woman told me: “NEVER EVER has one man made me orgasm that quickly.”

I know she is sexually quite active, so you could say I made quite a few guys look old.

How did I manage to do that?

Well… it wasn’t me. It was my beloved Magic Wand that made already dozens of women come in record time.

I use it this way:

I am deep inside her, while gently holding this baby boy against her clit.

A mean trick that can make her come quicker than she can scream: “Hallelujah!!!”

Because you are inside her, it will be an intense sensation for her. Her pussy pulsates and feels your cock as an enjoyable resistance.

She will make your best buddy responsible for her mind-blowing orgasm –  I’m talking about your penis, not the toy. 😉

But remember: You still want to give her REAL experiences, instead of just satisfying her sex drive.

Which means you should stimulate her with your entire body. Feeling your skin instead of some piece of plastic is a way more intimate experience.

If you want to know exactly how to please a woman in bed, check out this article:

>> How to Please a Woman in Bed (Step-by-Step Guide)

Stairway to Sexgod Heaven

I assume you want to try these things out with an actual woman – not on your sex doll (again, I don’t judge).

We all know that women are complicated, so you can’t just walk up to them and say:

“Hey, I just read an article about sex. Let’s try out the tips.”

That won’t work, Bro.

Your chances are getting much bigger of course, when you mention that it was an AttractionGym article.


You have to develop your sexual charisma, if you want to have one or more women around, constantly wanting to be touched, kissed, pleased, desired, grabbed, spanked by you. 😉

I got something for you…

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Your bro,
Dan de Ram

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