7 Reasons You Can’t Get a Girlfriend + How to Change It

“What’s wrong with me, Dan?

…I’m 20/25/40, but I never had a girlfriend yet. Will I ever get a girlfriend?”

This has popped up in my email inbox lately more and more often.

Followed by a flood of text, in which I read out three pithy things above all:

Strong self-doubts, impulsive fear, and stabbing pain.

That’s why I have decided to write for you the ultimate guide to getting the girlfriend you want:

  • ‘I have no girlfriend!’: How to get into a serious relationship with women you really desire
  • How you can grab the fate of your love life by the balls
  • Why you don’t need money, status or a six-pack to win a wonderful woman over
  • The biggest fault you can do in getting a girlfriend and how you prevent doing it (if you don’t do THIS, you’ll lose her faster than light)
  • How you lead her into a fulfilling relationship like the Pied Piper of Hamelin
  • …and much more.

By the way, have you seen my free Transformation Kit?

You'll get my best stuff absolutely free: 12 Opening lines that actually work, my 5 best texting tips (including copy-paste lines for Tinder), and the Friendzone Houdini. Download the Transformation Kit here.

You know what?

If you’re in a similar unfortunate situation as the guy who mailed me, I understand you, bro.

You go to the cinema and notice how they share a gigantic bucket of popcorn.

You want to get some fresh air, walk through the park, and see them on the benches.

You turn on the TV: It’s ‘Mike & Molly.’

Price question of the day:

What am I talking about?

You got it. I’m talking about COUPLES IN LOVE.

Everyone seems to be in a relationship.

Even the weirdest oddball in your circle of friends and acquaintances has had a girlfriend before.

Romeo had his Juliet, Jay-Z has his Beyoncé, Clyde had his Bonnie.

Even Quasimodo had his Esmeralda.

So, what the hell seems to be going wrong here?

Let’s take a deep breath, bro.

We’re living in the 21st century, and for almost everything, there is an explanation – except for jam sandwiches with Gouda slices.

I’ve never understood people who can eat that stuff…

Today I’ll give you clear explanations.

>> What I Did when I Really Wanted a Girlfriend

‘Why don’t I have a girlfriend?’ – The brutal TRUTH

For some things in life, you don’t have to work hard to achieve them.

Is your goal to go gaga and live without friends?

Fill your body with an exorbitant amount of chocolate bars, add some finely broken peanut flips, and stir the whole thing by adding liters of canned beer.

This process is repeated over several weeks until the mixture is placed in the oven at 500° F (bottom and top heat of course) – et voilá:

Ready is the diabetes-causing loser roast.

Wasn’t so hard, was it?

Doesn’t sound like much of a life…

Suppose you have higher goals in your life, like:

  • Climbing the next step of the career ladder in your profession
  • Master clarinet playing
  • Take your night elf to level 120 in World of Warcraft.

Or maybe you just want a spicy girlfriend at your side with whom you experience congeniality

Even though all goals are different, they have one thing in common:

They require HARD WORK!

They require sweat, maybe even a tear or two and time.

You’ll also go through many failures:

After all, you must find out what works best for you in order to get one step closer to your goals.

”That sounds awful. I don’t like to fail.”

I got you, bro.

At least as far as your goal is to get a fantastic girlfriend, I have your back.

Because in the following passage, I present to you precisely what DOESN’T work if you have the intention to get into a fulfilling relationship.

You’ll learn exactly how you prevent unnecessary failures and will instead get a step-by-step-plan to get the girlfriend you deserve.

It’s time to delete the 7 reasons why you can’t get a girlfriend and give you 7 ways to get her.

Reason #1: You catapult yourself into the FRIENDZONE

This is a place as scary as Azkaban in the world of Harry Potter.

You’re locked in a deep hole on a deserted island. While the woman at your side is the dementor, who wants to keep you in this hole at all costs.

How did you end up here?

Because you clicked on this article, I suspect that you haven’t had too much experience with women so far.

So, it’s not unlikely that you might tend to be too friendly to them.

If you are kind and nice to her, she’ll also show you ONLY kindness and niceness.

So, what should you do?

Tip #1: Let her know you find her attractive

If you want her to treat you like a sexually attractive man, you must behave like one.

From the beginning.

Tell her that she’s attractive to you.

Speak in a masculine tone, don’t filter everything you say. Tease her, and look deep into her eyes when you talk to her.

>> How to Tease Women – 7 Ways She Actually Likes + 11 Examples

Reason #2: You’ve never approached women

Many men are prim.

They don’t approach any woman they’re attracted to (most of them not even once in their lifetime).

This also means that they miss most of their opportunities to get to know their potential dream woman.

But I can’t even condemn them for that:

After all, we’re raised (at least in most cases) in the misleading belief that it’s strange to walk up to strangers.

‘You don’t do that – you’re invading their privacy,’ is the dogma implanted in us.

The seed that thrives, as a result, is the fear of crossing that line because ‘not-approach’ has become a social norm.

At least my parents never showed me that it’s perfectly fine to approach people.

And you know what?

I can’t judge them, because their parents probably never taught them either…

I’m 99% sure that it didn’t look any different with you – have you seen in the last 30 days a man approaching a woman in broad daylight to tell her how much he likes her style?

Hardly anyone questions whether our conventions make any sense at all.

And this, thousands of beautiful women can hardly wait to meet a confident man…

How do I know that?

Because here’s what I did:

I’ve approached countless women over the past few years and realized again and again how much fun this is for both sides (as long as you do it the right way).

So, what are you waiting for?

>> 5 Steps to Quickly Overcome Your Fear of Women

Tip #2: Start approaching women

In the beginning, you may feel like Neo when he wakes up outside the Matrix for the first time:

Everything feels unusual for you at first, and you feel a lot of stress.

It’s perfectly normal.

You’re doing something you’re probably doing for the first time in your life.

Neo had never used his eyes before and felt fragile. But with time, he got used to his new circumstances.

He slowly grasped his way in and began to open his eyes wider and wider, until he finally trained them to become eagle eyes, with which he eventually even could duck a lead ball massacre.

So, like Neo, take it easy at the beginning:

For example, ask women at first about directions or the time.

Once you get used to approaching them this way, dare to do more.

For example, add a compliment to your question until you finally feel brave enough to compliment her directly.

Afterward, focus on keeping the conversation with her.

Does she seem interested?

Great. Exchange numbers!

Each time you ‘talk to women’ you train your ability to seduce women so that soon you won’t be able to save yourself from date requests!

So you don’t know how you can approach women at all?

Then check out this free Approach Achiever I wrote for you.

Reason #3: You talk to too few women

Perhaps you have already spoken to one or two women at the bar in the club or next to the stacked tomato cans in the supermarket.

Good job!

‘Approaching women’? It isn’t that horrific. ‘- excellent realization, amigo!

But this is not the end of the story.

A typical beginner’s mistake is to give up after you’ve just had your first experiences with four or five women you have approached…

‘We’ve exchanged contact information, but she doesn’t even answer me,’ or

‘We had a date, but nothing happened!’ – are perfect excuses to throw in the towel.

Calm down. You’re not fighting the Klitschko brothers here.

You don’t have to give up all your hope or fall into tirades of hate about yourself or womankind.

How do you think I looked at the beginning of my ‘journey’?

As shy as I was back then, I only got a stuttering ‘H-h-hello’ out of me, which didn’t even get noticed…

But gradually, my pathetic attempts became okay, and the more often I forced myself into situations where I could learn, the quicker my skills in dealing with women improved.

And you’re going to make it as well – promise! Provided you take ACTION.

Tip #3: Talk to 2,000 women

”What the fuck, Dan. 2,000 women?”

You’re goddamn right, 2,000!

During our coaching sessions, it has repeatedly turned out – which is no surprise, by the way – that participants who had already approached many women in their past have fewer inhibitions about doing it again.

This allows you to do a lot more work on things that come up after the response.

Like building sexual attraction.

”How can I get a girlfriend is what I’m wondering about… ONE girlfriend… so why should I walk up to 2,000?”

Good question.

By approaching 2,000 women, you desensitize yourself and lose your nervousness towards women.

Then you can’t only answer logically that hot women are human too:

You even feel this way and reflect this in conversations through your inner calmness during interactions with them.

Beyond that, you create a social safety net for yourself:

Even after a failed relationship, it’s easy for you to find alternatives.

After all, you have the superpower to approach women in any situation…

Reason #4: You are as entertaining as a moldy toast

Ever seen the mobile phone screen of an attractive woman?

Here’s a little insight into what it looks like when she puts her cell phone aside for 10 minutes:

Yup, she has a vast selection of horses in her stable.

But which one should she choose for riding?

Suppose she chooses you.

You approached her gloriously and got her all crazy about you. But as time passes, she loses interest in you.


Because – as I mentioned before – she has a huge choice regarding her horses:

So, if you can’t offer her enough variety, she’ll want to spend less time with you until she finally breaks off contact with you.

And just between you and me:

Who wants to ride a horse that only knows how to walk but has no idea about how to trot, gallop, or jump over obstacles?

You got it right, Sherlock:


So why would she choose you when you have absolutely nothing to tell her. Don’t even know how to make your dates more original and simply offer her 0.0?

If you want to know how to give her an incomparable date, she won’t forget so quickly, check out this article I wrote for you:

>> 35 Exciting Date Ideas: How to Have an Unforgettable Date

Tip #4: Bring more fun into your life

Discover new hobbies, travel to places you’ve always wanted to visit, do exciting things with friends, work on your career, and let go of anything that keeps you from progressing.

That also means that this is what you should do:

  • Sell your PlayStation if you spend 5 hours a day with it: Even if you’ve already lovingly christened it, Tiffany. Spoiler: There are more talkative ‘girlfriends.’
  • Cancel your World of Warcraft subscription: Yes, I know it took you a long time to get your night elf up to level 90, but believe me, there are women out there who can summon ‘fireballs’ in a much more charming way
  • Get rid of habits that eat up all your energy: Fu*k commenting people under banal Facebook pictures, cat videos on YouTube, and 10 hours of porn marathons; I’ve never seen anyone who could conjure up a woman just by following these habits…

>> 10 Simple Things That Improve Your Life TODAY!

Reason #5: You limit yourself to your appearance

”Dan, who would ever want to choose me:

  • I am ugly.
  • I’m broke as f*ck and have hardly any money.
  • I’m skinny/fat and not muscular at all.
  • I’m way too small.”

Here’s a tissue.

When you’ve wiped away your tears, ask yourself this question:

“Does the way I think about myself right now help me seduce women?”

If the answer to that question is ‘No!’

Great, bro – let’s get rid of the excuses that don’t help you.


Tip #5: Focus on your seduction skills

Do you know a man who is in a similar situation like you and yet is successful with women?

You’ve probably seen one on the street who would outshine even Quasimodo with his ugliness but had a phenomenally hot woman by his side.

“Yes, but I bet he’s rich.”


What if he’s just a cool guy who knows exactly how to treat women?

I admit, if you look like a Calvin Klein model, are a second Bill Gates, or have more muscles than Arnold Schwarzenegger, this can help you succeed with women…

But if you start with a handicap, your motivation should be to focus on what you can change.

Perhaps you’ve heard of Oscar Pistorius:

Pistorius was born with deformed legs that had to be amputated downwards from the knee due to their deformity.

Ironically, when he got his prostheses, he developed a burning passion for running.

Hard training hours and iron will:

Pistorius is today in the Guinness Book of Records with several entries.

He’s the ‘fastest man with no legs’ and managed, among other things, to master a 100-meter run in 10.91 seconds.

To compare: An average man needs about 27 seconds to reach 100 meters.

So, hone your skills and become an Oscar Pistorius in dealing with women (check out this article to get 7 flirting tips that’ll drive them crazy about you)!

Reason #6: You have unclear intentions

Maybe you already have a woman at your side whom you date regularly.

But somehow this feeling just won’t let you go:

It’s fun to meet her, maybe you’ve even had sex, but what does it all boil down to between you?

You don’t know.

It doesn’t feel like anything half and whole, and you just don’t know what you want.

And even if you were ultimately sure whether it should become a friendship with benefits or a relationship, you lack the structure to steer it in a clear direction.

And the longer you sit there guessing how you’re going to do that, the faster she’ll lose interest in you…

Tip #6: Guide her like the Pied Piper of Hamelin

You meet and have passionate sex. Then, you go home.

The following week, the same procedure starts all over again.

Does that sound like a deep relationship between you?

Nope, smells more like friends with benefits over here. At least I haven’t seen a serious relationship that looks like this.

“Yeah, okay, Dan, but how do I make her my girlfriend?”

Let me answer your question with a counter-question:

In this case, how would you need to change your behavior to transform your friendship into a serious relationship?

Good try…

…So if your togetherness has been limited to 10-hour sex marathons, you should start by leading her to a potential relationship.

Follow the example of the Pied Piper of Hamelin:

Play the melody that tells her which direction you want to go with her.

That doesn’t mean you should treat her like a rat. It’s more like this:

If you want to play sounds to her that sound like ‘relationship music,’ you can do the following:

  • Establish a connection with her: Open up to her piece by piece so that she can open up to you as well. Tell her about how you used to play with your hamster Freddy in a meadow in the springtime; tell her about your former passion for picking mushrooms in the depths of the woods.
  • Go out with her: Yeah, I admit it. McDonald’s can be awesome occasionally, but it’s not romantic. You don’t have to go to a 3-star restaurant with her, but you can cook with her or have a picnic together in the park. I just offered you two varieties. This is an excellent opportunity to show her your creative side.
  • Bring her into your world: Does she already know your hobbies and biggest passions? Go with her to the climbing forest that you like so much, listen to your favorite Mozart hits with her, compose deafening songs on your keyboard with her. Show her what your reality looks like and draw her into your spell.

Through these points, you get to know each other better and find out how well you actually fit together. If you enjoy your time together, even the last spark skips, and you both find each other fantastic, then these are ideal conditions for a fulfilling relationship.

Reason #7: You make the same mistakes repeatedly

You’re on your way to hitting the 2,000-woman mark.

But even after the 500th woman, there was still no girl.

If you can answer a question with a ‘yes,’ there’s a high probability that you are missing something:

You seem to make the same mistakes over and over again.

Maybe you are aware of your mistakes, but you just don’t know how to fix them.

Or you don’t even have the slightest idea why the success you hope for in dealing with women is currently lacking.

If I could just listen to your problem, then I could help you…

Wait a minute!

Tip #7: Learn from the best

Trust me, bro.

I know exactly how frustrating it can be when you are constantly working on yourself, approaching tons of women, and still aren’t getting the results you want.

You shouldn’t have to be stuck on a plateau for weeks, months, or even years like me.

The happier I am that I can offer you this:

Years of experience.

This results in a comprehensive repertoire of knowledge, at least as far as the seduction of women is concerned.

In our blog, we have countless articles that will help you recognize your own mistakes in order to develop to your most attractive I, your I 2.0 – a proactive, sex worthy man, about whom women go crazy.

But of course only as long as you APPLY them.

Apart from the articles in our blog, I would like to share a special Kit with you, because you’ve been dedicated so far:

My free Transformation Kit:

  • Filled with my best advice from over 10 years of coaching.
  • Countless flirty example sentences and texts you can say and send straight away to the women you want in your life for a long period of time.
  • Steps on getting the women you want.

Have fun with it!

Over and out,
Dan de Ram



Stop awkward conversations
and painful rejections

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  • 12 Opening Lines that Actually Work
  • 5 Date Generating Texting Tips (Plus Copy-Paste Lines for Tinder)
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