It is very entertaining to go to a club and witness the embarrassing attempts of other men to seduce women.
Thinking about it, it’s like going to the movies.
Sometimes I would love to have a big bag of popcorn in my hands (if you are a club owner: Yes, a popcorn machine in your nightclub is a fantastic idea).
I can’t lie to you: Sometimes I laugh my ass off. Sometimes I feel the cringe in every cell of my body. But, most of the time, I feel sad for the men.
If it was a movie, it would be a drama.
The first 30 minutes of the movie are a bit boring, because, unfortunately, not much happens. The men stand in the corner, and try to overcome their approach anxiety by preparing a pickup line.
But it was worth the wait! It’s starting to get exciting… They approach the woman.
Of course, they get rejected, which is most of the time the entertaining end of the movie. But watch out, sometimes it’s not over yet…
Often, they try it a second time. But that’s all there is to it. At the end you can see them getting drunk and, finally, faceplanting the bar counter…
Well, if this isn’t a blockbuster!
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Why men use “cool pick-up lines”
The psychology behind it is clear: fear of rejection can be immense and many rather hide behind a pickup line.
When it doesn’t work, men tell themselves:
This is easier for their rather large ego to cope with.
It is actually quite nice… They just want to make a good first impression, and sweep the women off their feet.
There are simple reasons why it doesn’t work that way.
Reason #1: Women are not stupid
This may come as a shock to you. But if you kiss women’s feet and mumble something like “Did you fall from heaven?” or some other shit, they know:
- You find her attractive
- You want to take her home
- You are not creative and brave enough to approach her in your own words
Women regularly get approached in a club, especially if she is standing there all by herself. If you use a pickup line, it is very likely that she will reject you.
Because she has heard them all.
And even if she doesn’t know your original one yet, she will realize that you have just been standing there preparing your lines, instead of simply walking up to her.
Reason #2: You look as bad as your pickup line
If you walk into the club looking like Jabba the Hutt, and then deliver your lines with bad breath as a bonus…
… not even the most genius line can save you.
Therefore, first learn about style and styling.
Reason #3: You expect too much from her
Let’s say you come up with a classic pickup line and wait for a serious answer.
Most women are just there to have fun. They are not there to deal with pickup lines.
So don’t expect her to just react perfectly to the lines you are pouring over your unprepared victim.
Besides, most of these sentences cannot be answered correctly. What the hell is a woman supposed to answer, when a guy approaches her by saying “Your place or my place?”
She’s being forced into an unpleasant situation. And only if she really, really, really, really, really, really likes you, and she’s drunk enough, she might accept your stupid behavior.
Okay, maybe not even then…
Reason #4: Flirting is more than just a stack of lines
Two misconceptions get men to drink beer for half an hour and think about the perfect pickup line, instead of approaching a woman.
- You will NOT die, even when you don’t know what to say
Let me give you a hint:
It definitely does not help to stand in the corner for half an hour and focus on one woman.
That will just put you in your head.
You will stand there and think about all kinds of worst case scenarios that will never happen.
It is better to use these 30 minutes to socialize (you don’t have to flirt right away).
- The first sentence does NOT create attraction
It’s not like you say your line and then you end up in bed with her. The road to this is long and much more important.
After all, you don’t just want to watch the end of a film. You want to experience the intro, main part and epic ending with as much excitement and action as possible.
Reason #5: You attach too much importance to the content of your words
I have often experimented with bad pickup lines.
Do you know what my conclusion is?
Actually, almost all of them can work.
But only if you bring it across so exaggeratedly that it is super clear that you are making fun of it yourself. But even that does not work as well as the direct approach of a woman. It is usually not worth the effort and rather makes you look like a little boy who tries too hard.
After this tough lesson, we now come to the worst pickup lines I have ever heard.
Let’s get one thing straight: I wouldn’t advise to use them! They come from men I’ve watched fail.
So sit back, grab a bowl of popcorn and enjoy the bad lines men try on innocent women night after night.
Worst pickup lines ever #1: “Do you come here often?”
“Yes, I do, thanks for asking, and now take me from behind!” – Is that the answer they expect from the woman? That’s the way conversations may take place in porn, but never in reality, my friend.
Worst pickup lines ever #2: “Your place or my place?”
A classic. Why don’t you just ask her if she’s comfortable here on the dance floor…
Worst pickup lines ever #3: “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
It’s so bad, it’s almost good. Almost…
Worst pickup lines ever #4: “Do you want a drink or should I give you the $10 cash?”
If I was that woman, I’d get that $10 and stick them up your ass. Yeah, I’d be that kind of woman.
Worst pickup lines ever #5: “I can see the universe in your eyes”
And I could see that the woman thought he was a big weirdo.
Worst pickup lines ever #6: “I know you from somewhere…”
If that were the case, it should have been easy for him to say something more creative 😉
Worst pickup lines ever #7: “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
I firmly believe in cringe at first sight.
Worst pickup lines ever #8: “Are you here by yourself?”
Why didn’t he just say “I couldn’t handle it if you were here with friends”? That would be honest at least.
Worst pickup lines ever #9: “Have you ever wondered how life would be with a good man on your side?”
He thought he was smart when he said it. But when she asked “Oh, so what makes you so good then?” he did not have an answer. Not so smart after all.
Worst pickup lines ever #10: “Hello, future ex-girlfriend”
Too bad she has heard that one before. Just say “future ex-wife” next time, and you are already better than most men. Yes, it’s that easy.
Worst pickup lines ever #11: “You are the answer to all my prayers”
He wasn’t the answer of hers. In fact, she stopped believing in god after getting approach by this cheesy man.
Worst pickup lines ever #12: *throws ice cube on the floor* “The ice is broken”
What a waste of ice and human brain cells…
So here you have them…
The 12 worst pickup lines I have seen men use. They all failed miserably by the way.
Listen. If you want to use them, and prove to me that they can work, I won’t complain. It’s a great exercise.
If you want to read them out to a girl to make fun of stupid men, you are more than welcome as well. In this context I can guarantee a yes to your “do pick-up lines work” question.
And in case you want lines that really hook a girl.
Dan de Ram